


Nothing Looks the Same in the Light/January

by Sonny



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Unverse, Angst, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-15
Updated: 2007-02-15
Packaged: 2017-10-13 14:16:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 45,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonny/pseuds/Sonny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is the same... until you turn on the lights...</p><p>Sub-Summary One : MONTH SEPTEMBER - Michael and Brian never met - What if... Michael married David, who pays for Vic's meds, Debbie's house and little Jenny's schooling? What if... Michael meets the *other half* of his soul during one of his husband's parties?</p><p>Sub-Summary Two : MONTH OCTOBER - Michael and Brian never met - Michael is cheating on his husband, David Cameron, with his college professor, Ben Bruckner ; What happens when his two worlds collide?</p><p>Sub-Summary Three : MONTH NOVEMBER - Michael and Brian never met - What if... Michael is humiliated in front of Ben, by Ben's so-called group of friends... and Ben doesn't come to his defense ; Will that change Michael's perception of his place in Ben's world?</p><p>Sub-Summary Four : MONTH DECEMBER - Michael and Brian never met - Melanie has been attempting to *fix* her best friend, Michael, up with a blind date ; She invites both of them to her wedding to Lindsay, but Michael has taken matters into his own hands...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. SEPTEMBER

**Author's Note:**

> This story is told in four parts, with four different summaries ; Sorry :O( ; Yeah, I'm challenging myself to see if this can be done with my fragile brain.:O) ; Lorein... for the awesome plot-bunnies that help fill the gaps to my *muse*... :O). Some are *strictly* hers, others are variations of story ideas she has written in her lists.

**Nothing Looks The Same In The Light**  
 _written by George Michael, performed by WHAM!_  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _ **I watch you breathe, I cannot sleep  
I touch your hair, I kiss your skin  
And hope the morning sun won't wake you too soon**_

 **  
_For when you wake, And look at me  
You never know, You just might see  
Another boy who crept in your room.._   
**

**_Take your time...(_** that's what you told me **)  
Take your time..  
But I fell head first, and I just don't know what to do**

Chorus:  
 _ **Nothing looks the same in the light  
Only a fool like me would take to heart  
The things you said you meant last night  
Nothing looks the same in the light  
I'll keep my feet firm on the ground  
Nothing looks the same in the light  
There's danger in a stranger  
With a warm hand and a kiss so right  
Nothing looks the same in the light  
It's been a pleasure, - see you around..**_

 _  
**I watch the sun, upon the sheets  
I hear a car, out on the street  
And gently pull you close, it's over too soon**   
_

**  
_What can I do, but wait and see  
Hold on to you, please stay with me  
Because you're the first, and I want to stay here with you_   
**

**_(_** Repeat chorus to fade **)  
(**Return to top **)**

~*~*~*~*~  
 **September**

Deep, penetrating hazel eyes watched the short dark-haired man shuffle about the room, flittering from guest to guest. He'd caught the tiny frame and tight ass about forty-five minutes ago, since arriving late. He thought the party was being catered, the stranger a lowly waiter. But the way he was kindly affectionate with his hands and his casual smile told of someone who knew his way about the crowd. He was serving appetizers and drinks, grinning and nodding his head when asked any question.

No one engaged him in conversation, so he moved on.

It wasn't long before the dark brown eyes stared wide across the room, locked on leering hazel, as they gaped over the glass lip of amber liquid. For a minute the solemn brown eyes were stunned. Nobody ever noticed him long enough to stare at these types of parties. They would be too enamored of the guest of honor.

There was a sweet smile, a flicker to the brown eyes... then a blush and the head bowed.

Michael averted his face and went back to his duties, keeping busy. One hand was hidden behind his back as he carried around the many plates of hors devours. Soon he came upon the realization that folks were getting a little perturbed, wondering when dinner was going to be served. He looked up to see if another pair of eyes were curiously seeking him out to explain the delay, but they weren't.

His husband had his arm wrapped around the neck of Senator Sean Richards. They were becoming almost like best friends, fighting for the same causes. Sean was recounting an anecdotal story of their last road trip for the political campaign of his re-election into the Senate.

So... Michael realized he was basically all on his own, having to figure out how to fix this problem.

Hazel eyes blinked slowly in shock, leaning back on the arm of an over-stuffed chair he was seated on. He was amazed at what he'd seen before him. The fast "eye play" the man had done to figure out if he was in trouble or not as he escaped into the kitchen. What had truly unsettled him was the blush over the man's features. So innocent. The man had to be near his age and just as sexually experienced. He dashed down the rest of his drink, then glanced about him. With no one looking, he followed behind through the swinging kitchen door. What he came upon stopped him short. He grabbed the door in his fist, making sure no noise sounded. He walked in, letting the paneling swing silent.  

The dark-haired man was, clearly, feeling under pressure, possibly beyond stressed.

Hazel eyes drank in the backside view of the man. Up from the shiny, expensive black loafers... over the dark blue, pristinely pressed trousers and along the sculpted muscular back of the sky-blue button-down shirt. Pale hands, with lightly sprinkled dark hairs up the forearms, tightly gripped the ledge of the double stainless steel sink. The small lung capacity was trying to maintain some easy breathing exercises. Dark head bowed over in weariness. He wondered how soft those wavy strands would feel in between his fingers. How warm the tiny frame would feel wrapped in his arms.

Strange... he would have introduced himself by now. What was holding him back?

"Excuse me..."

The dark-haired man spun around in fright.

Holding up a hand in simple apology, hazel eyes smiled across the room. "Hey, easy now. Sorry. I know... I'm probably not supposed to be back here, but..."

The full lips smiled in relief and a tad apologetic, as well. "No." Michael furrowed his brow in wonder. "It's fine, really. You scared me, is all." He noticed the empty glass. "Can I get you a refill?" On the other side of the huge island, he made his way over to the back room stash, on the counter tile, for more alcohol.

"No!" Hazel eyes spoke roughly, shaking his head. "Point me toward the liquor. I can get the refill myself."

Palms meshed together in a mild clapping sound, pointing to the marbled island. "At the end... there." The cabinetry was large enough to create a comforting distance. Michael made his way over to reach across to move the neck of unopened bottles of hard alcohol. "What was your poison? Bourbon?" He could recall only seeing the light brown color, almost amber, of the drink the gentleman had held.

"Scotch, actually." Hazel eyes peered over the array of pricey labels. He was impressed. The best bars in town didn't have this much selection.

"There should be a full bottle there. Take it." Michael waved his hand in the air, motioning for the man to walk away and drink to his heart's content. No one else seemed to be drinking the harsh stuff. "My husband and I won't miss it. We have a case in the liquor pantry."

"You have a pantry... in your pantry?" The hazel eyes cracked a small tease, opening up the bottle and pouring out about an inch of fiery water.

Michael chuckled lightly, not minding the slight ribbing to his lifestyle. It had never been his to claim ownership of. He simply lived here, shackled to his husband for eternity. "No. My husband has a wine cellar, we store the rest in a separate refrigerator. I call it a pantry, 'cause that's what it reminds me of." He shrugged, not sure if the man would pick up on his reference to not being born into rich society.

"Tell me something..."

Michael stood from bending over, finding that the hazel eyes had wandered almost fully around the other side of the island, nearing his side. He no longer felt the comforting distance. Instead, he felt... heat. An all -encompassing flame of heat. "Ye-y-... yes..." He stood tall with his feet braced apart, arms crossed over his lower abdomen. He hoped his eyes flashed courage, because he sure didn't feel that way inside. He felt... like he had to touch the chest, the silky fabric of the shirt billowing out over a lanky frame. Blood red, almost maroonish. On anyone else the dark purple crushed velvet jacket would have looked freakishly tasteless. With the hazel eyes and peaches and cream skin, the blend of colors looked downright sinful. He was sure the pants were leather or at least some shiny, slippery material giving off the appeal of leather. The black half-boots clicked on the mosaic tiles, making the emptiness of the large home seem very imposing. Even though there was a party going on.

Bottle and glass on the tiled counter, the left arm stretched in a clasp of the ledge. Hazel eyes tried to round the corner in an attempt to draw close. "How long have you been playing the dutiful wife?" Dark mahogany hair hung over long lashes, the nape of the pale neck covered in wisps of brown strands. As he turned to give a perfect profile to his gorgeous features, there was the beginnings of a scar. Barely making it's way past the lobe of the right ear, never completely coming across the throat.

"Excuse me?" Michael been trapped by the simple move of long fingers scratching at the hairline, somewhere around the vicinity of the scar. His instant feeling was pity, then remorse... now he was caught between empathy and perplexity.

"You heard me." The plump bottom lip spread in a smirk with it's partner top. White teeth bit at the skin, then licked the leftover trace of scotch

"You hardly know me..." Michael only backed up a few inches, enraptured by the mingled scents of tobacco, soap and musk. His hand reached out to prevent the hazel eyes from coming any closer. "... or MY husband... to be asking me that type of question."

"Fine." With that said, he walked back around to the other side of the island. He found himself a bar stool and plopped down on the seat. He straddled it like a cowboy to his horse. "I've got all night. Fill me in. You look like you could use some help in the kitchen."

Now Michael was embarrassed to have assumed the hazel eyes were after him. "Sorry. I usually work alone in my kitchen."

Arms held out from his sides, hazel eyes looked down at his display of wicked strength. "I have two perfectly capable arms and a quick, sharp mind. Why don't you use me? Teach me what you want me to know. I'm a good pupil."

There was so much underhanded sexual innuendo in those words, Michael couldn't even pluck the surface. "I have guests to see to."

Hazel eyes bent over the island counter. "Who could give two shits about you."

"Why did you follow me in here?"

Arms folded on the counter top, hazel eyes blinked and went on to explain himself. "You're the only interesting face in this entire cookie-cutter party of fake plastic personas. I'd like to know more."

"I'm married." Michael held up his right hand, showing off his wedding band. "My husband..."

Hazel eyes twinkled with mischief. "... is helping Senator Richards press some flesh for his political campaign for re-election."

Michael squinted across the island. "Are you a reporter?"

"God no." Hazel eyes snickered in hilarity.

"Who are you then?"

"I'm the man who's come to save your day... or night, as it were." Hazel eyes stood to take off his jacket to lay it down on the stool. He began to roll up his sleeves, then realized they had no give to remain up at his elbows so he started undressing. The buttons coming undone in a flash.

"Hey!" Michael put a hand over his face as if that would deter him from peeking between his fingers. Whew... safe. He was dressed in a white tank-t, but those pants were delectably tight. Michael wandered over to open a closet and yank out a long apron to cover the pants. "Here."

Hazel eyes took the material, placing the loop over his head. As the apron settled over his frame, he had some difficulty making sure the strings met at his back and were tied securely. Holding up his arms out of the way, he turned his backside to be tended to. "Can you give me a hand?"

Rolling his brown eyes, Michael grabbed the long strings. He'd have to almost wrap them around the slim waist twice. That was why the arms were raised. "... shit..." He mumbled as he tried to avoid touching any body part not above belly button level. That was difficult to accomplish, but the body began turning in an effort to help out.

"It's okay if you want to touch me. I won't tell Hubby."

"No... I..."

"Hush." Hazel eyes reached out a hand to lay two fingers over plush lips. "No one even misses us. No one cares. Our secret is safe with me.

Michael forcibly swiveled him around, making him face backward. He didn't know if he enjoyed knowing how funny he found this situation, the chuckling bothered him. He yanked the ties closed. "David and I have a good marriage. We have an agreement."

"Sounds more like an arrangement." Hazel eyes peered down, slight smile spreading over his lips. "You do your thing, while he does his."

"Who are you?" Michael slipped away, leaning on the island's structure.

Hazel eyes slowly swiveled, leaning on the opposite counter, near the stove. "I'm someone who knows how to treat the man who's in and out of his bed." There was a flip of the long bangs to fall back from the forehead. "Better then you're being treated now."

"How did you get here?" Michael was a bit unsettled by the insight into his private life. No one cared too much what went on between he and David.

"I followed you from the living room."

Michael had to bite back his laughter. For the first time in years feeling instantly safe, because of the humor. He remembered when he used to find things funny all the time, cracking jokes and teasing. When had he suddenly become such a "stick in the mud"? For some reason he knew the man was harmless on some level, so he began to show him what needed to be done to warm the main course, while everything else just needed to be placed on proper serving platters and set on the large dining room table.

Within minutes things were settled and the smells filling the kitchen were beyond fantastic.

They had some time to kill, Michael thought to bring their conversation back up. He was too damn curious now.

"How did you get to this party?"

Hazel eyes squinted at him, beginning to take off the apron. "You really have no idea who I am, do you?"

"Should I?"

"You and Hubby don't talk much?" Hazel eyes went in search of glass and bottle again.

Michael found himself staring in open-mouthed shock. "He's busy with work... the political campaigning..."

Hazel eyes downed the last pour of scotch in his glass, ready to fill the emptiness again. "Do you own a TV? Watch the news? Pick up a paper or a magazine?" Was this man for real? He didn't think people like him existed anymore, or at all.

"No. I'm sorry. My life is full of more important things at the moment."

"Like locking yourself away from living and doing your husband's every bidding?" Hazel eyes were coming back around the island, this time from the other side.

"I'm... happy... content..." Michael sputtered out as he stepped back.

"Yeah... you sound fuckin' ecstatic..." Hazel eyes gulped down the next shot of alcohol. He finally put away the glass, in the sink.

Michael tightened his lips in frustration. He didn't like being told the obvious faults to his marriage. He'd known these problems had existed for years. "I think you should leave."

Hands tucked behind his back, which drew the muscular biceps tight and the shoulders taut. He hadn't put his button-down shirt back on, still in the tank-t. "Don't worry. You're safe. I won't hurt you."

Michael chuckled nervously, attempting to smile. "I'm not scared of you. I just... you make me feel..." ... - Like I'm still attractive to someone - was what he wanted to say.

"What?" Hazel eyes twinkled with a smirk.

"Uneasy."

"At least it's better then being numb... or dead." Hazel eyes were close enough to reach out and touch now.

They both watched the rise of his hand, the way it cupped the smooth face and barely caressed warm skin.

Michael closed his eyes, wondering when was the last time he'd been touched without purpose... just cause there was a "feeling" of needing him, not that it was a marital duty... or worse, a task. "I'm not..." His voice sounded winded, breathless.

The kitchen door swung open. The moment had vanished and so had the hand.

"Hey!" The dark blonde head popped around the frame of the door. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you."

Michael turned to walk away, knowing the excited voice wasn't looking for him.

Hazel eyes turned, leaning over the island counter. "Why?"

"Photo-Op. Pronto."

"I told him no photos this time."

"C'mon, Brian. It's for a reputable magazine. Not a sleazy tabloid."

Brian stared down at the painted marble, wishing he had some excuse to bail. But he felt a bit trapped, much like his dark-haired new companion. He swiped up the glass and bottle. "Thanks." He gave a sloppy salute.

Michael was some distance away now, eyeing the man who's name he now knew as "Brian". He tried to fit his tongue around it as he stared at how docile and trained the man was becoming. "No problem."

"Hey, Mike." The intruder turned his dazzling, charming smile over to Michael. "You gotta give me the recipe for your dip. I've been needing something kick-ass to jump start my dorm parties. I think this might be it."

Michael actually liked this young man, having had some interesting conversations with him at several parties. "Come find me later. Okay? Before you leave. I have a bowl in the fridge of some extra. I'll tape the recipe to the lid."

"Fuckin' A!" The young man gave an approving thumbs up sign. "Tell me again how the hell you hooked up with an old geezer like Cameron?"

Michael could almost forget the hazel eyes not staring at him anymore. Almost. "Blind date."

"You ain't kiddin'?!"

"How appropriate..." Brian mumbled as he wandered around the island to shove the bottle and glass into the nosy young man's chest. "Beat it, Eric! I'll be out shortly."

Eric cradled the bottle in one arm, clasping the glass with his other hand. "Don't be too long or Sean will think I failed him, yet again, not able to convince you to show your face as part of this family."

Brian blinked away his nerves, then grabbed the door, pushing his young cousin backward. "Bye, Eric." When the door swung closed, he started shaking his head to walk over to his clothes. "I'm sorry he barged in on us, when things were just getting good."

"Actually, I'm a little relieved. I like Eric. He's a great kid." Michael would never admit it, but he was a little saddened to be losing Brian's presence in the kitchen. "How do you know Eric?"

"Since I was twelve and he was in diapers."

"That means you're..."

Brian snickered as he fixed the collar of his shirt around his neck. "... related to your guest of honor."

Michael could see the reason why the collar was being difficult. He stepped closer, hands outstretched. "Here... c'mere..." The fabric was almost too soft to hold any shape. "There... that should do it..." He spread the material over the expanse of back muscles, watching the shirt hem fall over the swell of a perfect backside in mock leather.

Brian turned around to work on his cuffs. "Thanks, again... Mike..." He tried the name out on his tongue, but didn't like the feel of the sound.

"Michael, actually."

Brian raised one brown eyebrow. "Michael..." He liked this better, more syllables to wrap around. "... Cameron?" He'd never bothered to remember David's last name. Sean rarely ever had "political pals" who lasted longer then the years between elections.

"Uh-no... Michael Novotny."

Brian liked hearing that, made sense to refuse to bow down to another man just to look like everyone else. "You don't like his name?"

"No." Michael shook his head, wondering why he wanted to continue to explain himself. "Our marriage is only recognized in a few states and foreign countries. Makes things easier. And... he wanted me to keep something of my own."

"How kind of him. A true gentleman." Brian whipped out with thick sarcasm, holding out his hand in a weird offering. "I'm Brian. Brian Kinney."

"So Sean and Eric are your...?" Michael shook the hand quickly, afraid of the mere touch to his palm. But the shake happened quickly and was over. He was sadly disappointed.

"Cousins. On my mother's side."

Michael shook his head on why he never paid attention to much of what David talked about with the guest lists of these parties. "I apologize. Sean and David don't usually involve me in their discussions about who's attending these things. They give me a number, we cook up the right amount of food and I don't ask for much else."

"Look, I'd love nothing better then to keep you company, chit-chattering away, but... Sean's gonna kill me if I don't run out and show some kind of 'look' of support from all sides of the family." Brian picked up his jacket. "Should I... wear it... or not?"

Michael had to laugh. The question was such a contradiction to who Brian had portrayed himself as in the beginning. Like he'd lost a bit of confidence, his hard edges softening. It was quite endearing to experience. "Here... give it to me..." He wiggled his fingers for the crushed velvet jacket. "If it's a magazine, there's a chance it's in color. If it were black and white, I'd say no jacket." He held open the collar for Brian to step in. "Let's do something different." Once the material fit over the wide shoulders, Michael smoothed the fabric down. He caught sight of some specks of something on the surface. He reached for some club soda and a dishtowel. "Stand still... you must have brushed by that atrocious plant in the foyer. You've got some dirt and pollen on the hem of this thing." He spun Brian around to face the front, making sure there were no other traces of pollen.

"I could have given you the jacket to work on."

"It's alright."

"Ah... another excuse to touch me. Fully understand." Brian winked down at the stunned brown eyes. He stopped to swallow heavily, desperate to kiss the lips that belonged to those eyes.

Michael rolled his eyes, finally comprehending that he was being teased, not "hit on". "Hold your arms out." Brian did so, Michael undid the cuffs of the shirt. He began rolling them with the cuffs of the jacket, only going as far as below the elbow. "I think... yeah... that'll look better."

"I feel prettier already."

Michael instinctively lightly swat at Brian's arm, like they were best friends joking around. "Stop!"

Brian wasn't expecting the swat and it created more of an awkward intimacy he wasn't prepared for. "I gotta go." He bowed in an unlikely gentlemanly manner. "Until we meet at dinner, Michael..."

Michael crossed his arms over his chest. "See you, Brian." He found it odd that as Brian swiveled to wander away, his hand reached out to caress the velvet jacket. Was he addicted to touching the man or the fabric?

Brian was gone. The kitchen door left swinging in his wake.

Michael rubbed his chin in contemplation. He made his way into the opulent dining hall, looking to find the marker, a tiny place card, that bore the name "Brian Kinney". Unfortunately, there was none. Brian must be replacing the person who was supposed to attend. Michael wasn't even clear on the names of his other guests to distinguish a stand out.

Damn!

He wandered back into the kitchen, looking at his watch. Emmett was running late. He was supposed to have been here already to help cook the rest of the food. Brian had been a lifesaver. But at least Emmett could be here to serve the food with him, then stick around toward the end to clean up. He wondered why David found it necessary to give the housekeeper the day off when these parties happened. Like this was one of those "tests" David performed to have Michael prove how worthy he was to be a well-balanced partner in this marriage.

Michael's cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Sweetie... I'm on my way, I'm running late. Throw the duck in the oven. I'm stuck in traffic." There was a long pause. "Do you hate me, yet?"

Michael snickered, rubbing his eye then rolling back to soothe his aching neck. "No. I found some help with the food. I'll need you to be here soon, we'll be sitting down to the actual meal. I was worried, though."

"I'll be there in twenty."

"Park on the driveway and come through the back entrance."

Emmett made it in time to start serving the first course.

Michael discovered that Brian would be seated only one person away from him, on the right. The person between them was... Emmett. When Emmett liked a man, he spoke A LOT. Emmett basically talked Brian's ear off, but Michael found it hilarious. David would throw a look of frustration his way, because he almost kept choking on whatever he was drinking or eating at the moment. Brian was a good trooper and Michael felt a tad sorry for him. He would have liked to have talked to Brian sometime through the meal. Each time Brian tried to engage only Michael, Emmett would butt in and steal the topic or change it to suit his life story. Brian would send Michael a painful smile over Emmett's head, showing him how distressed he was at being overtaken by this southern whirlwind.

Michael and Emmett went around the table to pick up the dirty dishes, on their way to desserts and coffee. Michael had made it back before Emmett to ask around what everyone wanted. Plus, Emmett could at least take charge of making sure the desserts looked alright.

Michael placed his hand tenderly on Brian's collar and nape, bending down to keep their talk private so it wouldn't overpower everyone else. "What can I get for you?"

"A new set of ear drums. How about some ear plugs?"

"Em means well. I'm sorry. He likes you."

"Thanks for the warning. You're gonna owe me after this night."

"I'll know better how to keep you two apart, but... if your love is pure I can't stop it from happening." Michael chuckled deeply, his grin reaching his eyes as Brian groaned, almost dipping his head over his place setting. "Look... dessert? Coffee?"

"Coffee. The blacker the better."

"Coming right up." Michael let his hand slide across Brian's shoulder as he made his way to the next person. He planned on finding out what three people wanted, then moving into the kitchen. Three was about all he could carry or handle at one time, with Emmett's help.

Michael never once saw the way David's eyes had caught the little caress of Brian's shoulder, much less that he'd even had found time to get to know Sean's cousin better. What David didn't appreciate was the easy way in which Michael smiled at Brian. The private manner in which they conversed. How genuine that wonderful smile and laugh sounded to his ears from across the table. The way Michael used to be with him, when they were first dating, and the first year or so of their marriage.

 

  
TBC...  
David returned to the kitchen, when Sean and his date had driven off down the circular driveway. There was no one left to see to their car. When he entered, he gave Emmett a "look" that told of leaving he and Michael alone for a personal conversation.

Emmett shuffled about, placing his cloth down on the counter top. "Silly me. I forgot my bag in my trunk." He wiped his palms on his jeans. "Same room, as always, Michael?"

Michael had been washing dishes, utensils and platters to place them in the dishwasher. He never caught sight of David behind him and how Emmett might have been chased out. "Yes. Clean sheets, too. Your favorite thread count, too."

"Thanks, sweetie." Emmett exited out the back door, his eyes flickering to David. He almost conveyed the message that he would return, somewhere in the house and he could still hear if they planned to argue.

"Michael..." David cleared his throat, hands tucked in his trouser pockets.

Michael never once turned around. "You didn't have to kick him out, David."

"Yes I did."

Michael pulled down the dishtowel dangling over his shoulder. "What?" As he wiped his hands, he turned to face his husband of three years. "What is it?" He let out a silent, deep sigh under his breath.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

"Huh?"

"I saw the way you two were with each other."

Michael was truly floored. "Excuse me?"

"Brian Kinney."

This reaction was kind of funny. "What about him?"

"From now on... stay away from him." David let that simply be his only request.

"I'm not your child. I'm your husband. I can make friends with whomever..."

"Not HIM."

"Why not? He's Sean's cousin. I have a feeling, until the November elections are over, I'll be seeing a lot more of him. Is that MY fault?"

"I'll tell Sean to stop inviting him."

"And what will be your reasoning behind this ridiculous decision?"

"Because of who Brian Kinney is."

"And... who is he?"

"You don't know?"

"I met him tonight. He wouldn't even tell me who he is, only that he was Eric and Sean's cousin. On his mother's side."

David swallowed with some difficulty. He'd known Michael was keeping his distance, possibly seeing another man. He had assumed that Michael would gravitate toward the obvious. What angered him the most was that now he was back to square one, no idea who Michael was cheating on him with. "Fine... maybe I jumped to conclusions. Can you blame me? I work long hours to keep us comfortable, Michael. So we don't want for anything."

"Yes, I know."

"I haven't even asked you to look for work. You're home all day, so you can do what you please."

"Just because I'm not somewhere else, slaving behind a desk, punching a time clock... doesn't mean I'm not 'working', David." Michael furrowed his brow in confusion. "What are you...?"

"In the past, I've taken care of Vic. I've seen to his hospital bills, his medications. Even that he's seen by the best physicians."

Michael put his hands over his face. "Shit! Not this again."

With each point David was making, he slammed his fist down on the island's counter. "I've even paid off your Mom's mortgage, on your childhood home, making it easier for her to work less. She's even thinking about retirement. That cruise in the winter I'm paying for at Christmas."

Michael shaped his face, looking over at David. He hated when things got to this point. The "comparison list" David usually dragged out to show how much he'd given to Michael, making him feel as if all he did was take, take and take without giving in return. "What makes you think I'm not grateful for all you've done for me and my family?"

"I'm even paying for those writing courses you wanted to take. For a pipe dream you know you're never gonna fulfill, unless you learn some discipline to following through on at least one thing in your life, Michael."

"I don't need it thrown in my face. I already told you I'll pay you back. For everything..."

"And Jenny..."

Michael stepped forward, holding out his hand for David to stop. His eyes watered at any mention of his baby daughter lately. "Don't you dare bring her in on this, David."

David always knew what a sensitive subject Michael's daughter was. It was his "trump card' in making Michael cave to his will. "I let you drift through our life together, taking no responsibility... and I have never asked you to do one thing, have I?"

"No. Not really." Michael hands formed into fists, which he hid behind his back. It was a lie, in Michael's eyes, because he had given up a lot of who he used to be to become an equal to David. THAT had been enough of a sacrifice.

"Then, please... do this for me." David was close enough in reaching distance of Michael. His hand skimmed the soft, flushed cheek. "Stay away from Brian Kinney."

"Or else what?" Michael wasn't going to look directly into David's eyes, but at the last minute he raised them in a tiny challenge. David would never hurt him, physically, but just the idea of pushing the right buttons made him wary.

David bunched his hand up, dropping it back into his pocket. "Don't even be tempted to find out." He left the kitchen after that, always having the last word.

Emmett was on the deck, peering through the window. He turned the knob, walking in. "Sorry. I saw he was still there, so I waited until the coast was clear." He noticed how Michael wouldn't turn to look at him, simply staring down at his shoe tips. "Was it bad?" He set his overnight bag on the floor.

"No. But he... I think he thinks I'm cheating on him."

"And you aren't... are you?"

Michael swiveled to lean on the counter. "Not in the sense of an 'affair' cheating, if that's what you mean."

"But you love him?"

"Who? David?"

"No. This other man? The one he thinks you're cheating with?"

"He thought... well, jesus... I don't know what he's thinking." Michael crossed his arms over his chest. "Em, do you know who Brian Kinney is?"

"Wha-? He was at YOUR party. Don't you know who he is?"

"I met him today. I must be dense. Living under a rock these three years. Who is he?"

"Someone not to mess around with, Michael."

"But he's okay for you?"

"Did I come off as 'clingy'? I only just wanted to keep him entertained."

"You liked him. You always get chatty with men you like."

"I like him, yes. I'd let him fuck me ten ways from Sunday, but... sweetie... he's the kind of man you've never associated with in your life. A rich Playboy. Never had to work a day in his life. Born into money. I mean... having Senator Sean Richards as your cousin has brought some respectable leverage to him, but he's still... the King of Liberty Avenue."

"Why haven't I ever heard of him? Or seen him for that matter?"

"Oooo... remember you'd been goo-goo eyes for David for years. Until they set you up with him and discovered how you two had absolutely nothing in common."

"So why did I marry him?"

"You said you loved him... at one time, I think."

"When did I stop?"

"How long have you been seeing this... other man you're NOT cheating on David with?"

"Christ!" Michael covered his hands over his face, running fingers through his perfectly coiffed hair. "Two years... give or take."

"And when were you gonna tell me you weren't sleeping around?"

"It's not... we're not... it's more of an... intellectual relationship."

"What the fuck does that mean? He fucks your brains out?"

Michael chuckled, shaking his head. "No... we, uh... he fulfills the parts of me that David never could. Supporting me in the writing that I'm attempting to find a place for."

"Ah... so he simply stimulates your brain, not your libido?"

"I'm attracted to him, but he's only attracted to... what he sees of me in my writing."

"Ohhhhhhh..." Emmett scrunched his face. "For two whole years? He hasn't touched you? Is he dead? Old?"

"No..." Michael was giggling, holding his belly. "I, uh... I've tried."

"He's straight?"

"No. He's gay, but he's..."

"Blind?"

"No."

"Honey... any full-blooded American gay boy would swoop you up in a millisecond. Even knowing David was standing at your side."

"I know." Michael couldn't explain what was wrong.

Emmett squinted his eyes. "It's Brian, huh. You two hit it off, didn't you?"

"I don't know what happened, exactly." Michael brushed the back of his knuckles down his jaw, along his cheek. He recalled the "barely" touch Brian had tried before Eric walked in. "I like him. I like him better then I like Senator Richards. And I know more about him then I do Brian."

"And David... he picked up on these vibes you had for Brian?"

"He warned me not to go near him again."

"Well, good luck with that. Senator Richards has kind of put him to work on his campaign."

"As what?"

"The gay advocate to sway the homosexual vote his way."

"That's... terrible..."

"Why? It helps win votes if Brian can fuck the right person to win him the election."

"He's family. You don't use family like that... even if Brian's an asshole."

"I don't know, Michael. Maybe you should read more about your new best friend. Find out why he'll bend over backward for the Senator, even if it means sacrificing his own morals."

"Maybe I will." Michael almost sounded like he was taking a bet.

"Well... good for you." Emmett wrapped an arm about Michael's shoulders. "Don't let David chain you down, sweetie. I'd miss you too much if I wasn't allowed to see you as often as he lets me."

Michael peered up at Emmett. "Has it really gotten THAT bad?"

"Do YOU recall the last time you and I went out to a bar to cruise for guys? And David didn't give us the third degree before we left?"

"Jesus... where have I been?"

"Trying to survive with your head above water, honey. And I love you for it, no matter if you can spend two minutes or two weeks with me." Emmett squeezed Michael tighter in his arms. "Wanna sneak out after we're done cleaning up?"

Michael dissolved into laughter as he wrapped his own arms about Emmett's waist. Gosh, it'd been so long since someone he loved held him without wanting anything in return. "I love you, Em. Don't ever change."

Emmett found himself nearly choking on tears as he felt Michael's hesitant touch to his back, rubbing softly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Michael and Emmett were enjoying their beers, watching some Alpha males attempt to gain their "attention" as they played an atrociously sad game of pool. Emmett, of course, was soaking up the attention, winking and smiling sweetly whenever the men flashed their eyes toward their table. Michael was simply satisfied that he still could garner gay men who were, or appeared to be, younger then him. It gave him some pleasure. He already knew he used to have a certain plus to making older men bow at his feet.

Michael's cell phone vibrated in his back pocket. He looked at the LCD screen, frowning. He plugged one ear to hear the caller. "Hey, you." He couldn't help the silly grin plastered on his face.

"Babe... whew... you... are a difficult man to reach."

For a second, Michael grew tense. "You... you didn't try me at the house, did you?" He rolled his eyes, wiping a nervous hand over his brow. "I told you to never call there. David's in his office."

The voice hesitated, listening to Michael's background noise. "And... where exactly are you?"

"NOT... at home."

"You snuck out and didn't invite me along? Or at least call me so you could come over to my place?"

"I'm sorry. Senator Richards had his party at our place. I'm out with Em. I needed some fresh air."

"Where? At a bar? With other single men you can't touch? What would David think?"

"Stop. That's not fair. I'm not dead, I'm married."

"You took your ring off, I bet."

Michael looked down at his bare hand, tucking it in his pocket. "I'm gonna take this outside, Em." He walked through the throngs of men all the way out the door. He stood on the stoop, right at the drop of the first step. "I'm at Woody's."

"Great. I'll leave now and meet you there."

"Why?"

"Because I have some good news and some even better good news."

"And you call yourself an English major?" Michael snickered, his stomach tight because he knew what that would mean. He'd find a way to ditch Emmett and his night would never end the way he wanted it to. "Can't you just tell me now? Over the phone?"

"Forgive me... I wanna see your face. Watch your sensual chocolate eyes alight with pleasure when I reveal your news to you, face to face. And I wouldn't mind finding somewhere to kiss you senseless, since you'll be so overcome with joy... you won't know what to do with me."

"I suppose I could use an excuse to bail... but I haven't been 'out' with Emmett in months. This is something I'd do with David, not him."

"I could always find ways to persuade you to bend to my will. And who says it has to be me actually coming to 'see' you and stealing you away. I could... uhm... accidently bump into you. I'm sure your friend Emmett will understand." The voice went soft, deepening. "I want to be alone with you, Michael."

"Christ! It better be worth it." Michael couldn't believe he was actually agreeing to this fiasco. Another night of an unfulfilled sexual appetite to where he'd end up going home to either fall into bed with his husband or find a solitary release somewhere he could gather his wits about him.

"Oh... it will, Michael... it will..."

"I'll see you then. Later..." Michael pinched the bridge of his nose, turning his back on the gorgeous faces of men coming up the steps of Woody's. He could pick any ONE of them and run off, to some seedy motel. Why this one... on the phone with him, who left him continually frustrated, and not in a good way?

"Can't wait... bye, babe..." There was too long of a pause before he hung up.

Strangely it made Michael think he still had time to say something. "Bye, Ben... I lov-..." The other line when silent.

Shit! Why did Ben always do that?!

Michael looked down at his LCD screen, contemplating if he should stick around with Emmett or quickly change his mind and go back home. Ben could still find him and make more of a ruckus... which is what he didn't want.

"Michael?"

Michael swiveled to find hazel eyes gazing up at him, from the third step of the stairs into Woody's. "Brian?"

Brian gripped the stone rail of the staircase, taking the final two steps up, very, very meticulously. "Fancy meeting you here..."

"Yes... I had to get some fresh air..." Michael put away his phone, then clenched the stone railing under his palms. God Damn!

"This far away from home?"

"I'm out with Emmett. Your rejection made him sad."

"Do you blame me?" Brian widened his eyes in fearfulness of his sanity.

Michael burst out laughing. "No. No I don't blame you at all."

Brian was leaning back on the railing Michael was griping. He folded his hands over his crotch. "What's it look like in there?"

"Like we're 20yrs too late!"

"College night?"

"Looks more like High School."

Brian chuckled deeply, finally able to find the courage to bring his hand up. He reached out to caress Michael's flushed cheek. "I've been wanting to do that all night."

Michael bowed his head, leaning toward the palm cupping his face. he felt the fingers sift through his hair, as well. "I've been warned... to, uh, stay away from you."

Brian smirked, an eyebrow quirked in curiosity. "Ah... David told you about me."

"I think... he thinks... you and I..."

"And that would be a bad thing?"

"A very bad thing."

"But... we aren't..."

"I know."

Brian dropped his hand, but kept it planted near one of Michael's hands. This meant he was bending his body toward Michael's side. "So... what's the problem?" His head, mainly his lips, hovered over Michael's breathing space.

"I think THAT's a very bad thing..."

"Funny..." One side of Brian's mouth lifted in dark humor. "... so do I. But I'm forced to behave. At least until November is over. Maybe into December."

"I heard about what your doing for the Senator." Michael glanced at Brian, his voice sounding genuine in its empathy and respect. "It's commendable."

"At least now I'm finding purpose to my life." Brian took out a cigarette and slipped it between his lips, lighting its end quickly. He blew the smoke away from Michael's face. "Cleaning up my tawdry past and all." When he put his hand back on the railing, his fingers covered part of Michael's hand.

Weird thing was... Michael didn't move away, one inch. In fact, he found himself seeking the grip of the strong hand and unusually soft skin. "You can't have been that bad."

Brian snickered, shaking his head. "I like you... Michael Novotny."

"I like you, too... Brian Kinney."

They both dropped their eyes to watch the way their fingers played with one another, fascinated by the sensation of each other's flesh and the heat radiating between them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
 **January... 5 months later....**

The two lovers lay entwined in bed. Comforter thrown off toward the end of the wooden frame work, the thin sheet their only cover. The hem rested somewhere around their waists to mid-chest. One man was fully under; the other, had his legs tangled in and out of the sheet.

Laying on his left side, facing the man he'd been secretly pursuing for an agonizing four months, one of the lovers reached out to press a lone fingertip to the open lips of his bed companion. It was merely a tickle, not hurtful.

The slight touch caused the second lover to roll over, turning a naked back to his partner.

Creeping along the mattress, on his elbows, the man who was awake brought up his hand to curve about the hip, sliding up the bare chest. He aligned his front to his lover's back, burying his face in the dark locks. He bent his head to begin kissing the nape, over the shoulder blades and around the shoulder joint.

The sleepy form turned in warm, comforting arms, liking the early morning attention always waiting for him. He released a deep sigh of contentment.

The man, not asleep, bent low to kiss the cheek, the jaw and then the throat to settle quite perfectly in the niche of the neck. Waking his lover in this manner never failed to rekindle lust in his body.

No. Not his lover. His equal. His partner. His best friend. The man who had given up everything to be with him. Even alienating his own family. He'd taken a chance to force a change he'd been too scared to approach years ago. A change no one in his life believed he had the courage to attempt. For too long he'd confused compassion with compliance.

The sleeping man had one leg outside of the sheet, bared from high on his upper thigh all the way down to his foot. He was showing off a stocky muscular limb, sprinkled with dark hair. The more he shuffled in bed, the more the sheet shifted to display the nest of dark curls, with the flaccid cock resting on them. Although now, feeling the heat of his lover's body, the erection was slowly growing.

Unable to bear one more second in the bed, the man, awake, crawled out from under the warmth. He wandered over to the large window overlooking Pittsburgh. The sun would be rising soon, in the horizon. He drew the sheer curtain closed, first. The thicker overlaying curtain was pulled closed next to distort the light. He didn't want sunlight to disturb his lover's peaceful rest. Rubbing a hand over his lower abdomen and around his groin to fondle his hardening cock, he found his robe, donning it with the sudden chill to the air. He should go back to bed, huddle under covers and some bodily heat.

But he couldn't... not yet...

He'd been contemplating this move. Not the actual sex, but the moment of knowing he would do anything and everything to have this particular man in his bed. Even with his own track record of sexual exploits, he found himself wanting what everyone else was getting. All too often what tripped him from seeking more was wondering if he was enough. His lover had given his heart away before... twice. Both unsatisfactory and hugely unsuccessful. He knew he could hold his own in bed, but when all else came into question... would he be able to keep his lover from straying? Like he had before?

He knew the domesticality of a relationship was not for him. Unless...

No. No... a leopard can never change his spots.

Though his lover claimed to not care, he knew deep down inside the ideal of forever... was a family of his own. The husband... the home... the children... a marriage... a ring on his finger. How long could he last in a lifetime affair forgoing what he'd dreamed was once his to have?

To the man who was awake, in more ways then one, the idea of family was something much different.

On the bed, the slumbering frame sighed heavily, stretching one arm above his head, the other sculpted down his bare thigh. The one above the dark hair, curled about the wispy locks on the pillow. The other, on the thigh, began to slide over, touching and exploring the hidden dark curls and stiffening length.

As if he almost willed the actions, the man... awake and completely alert to his lover's waking techniques... took a chair, along the wall, at the side of the bed. He crossed one leg over his knee. His eyes tempted the eager hand to seek further pleasure as the fingers surrounded the semi-erect cock. The strokes were fluid and tempered, near intentional. It was as if he knew someone might be watching him. He began to moan, lips licking the circumference of his full lips. He shook his head from side to side in erotic torment.

Dreams were slipping into an even better reality.

Brown eyes blinked open, caught in a trance of one mind-blowing orgasm. It didn't take much these days to make him fall into a spiral of release. One name echoed over drying lips.

"... Brian..."

"Over here, Michael."

The voice sounded small, near frightened.

Michael raised up on his elbows, squinting at the thought he'd awaken to bright sunlight. It was near dark, the hue of sunlight peeking from around the thick set of curtains. "What are you doing way over there?" He fidgeted around, tucking and untucking his legs. It was more like wiping away any trace of semen caking his bare skin.

"Watching you." Brian had this bad habit of biting at the tip of thumbnail when he felt out of place, disquieted about something on his mind.

Michael threw off the sheet, climbing naked out of bed to make his way to Brian's side. He adjusted his length to unstick from his skin. He knelt at Brian's feet, soothing over the thick thighs, pulling at the robe's ties. "Do you need me?"

Brian smirked, shaking his head. "No. Not in that way." He snatched Michael's hands from touching his own erect cock.

Michael couldn't read the hazel eyes in the dark, but they looked agitated and scared. He stretched over Brian's upper body, seeking his mouth for a kiss. He crawled into Brian's lap, straddling the trim hips. "I'm here. There's nothing left for me in that house... in that shell of a life." He kissed down Brian's throat, coming around the neck to slide up the right ear to suckle at the scar line. "I'm yours... forever."

Brian's hands cupped over Michael's ass, fondling the cheeks and up his back and spine. "I was thinking about the day we met."

"Really?"

"I must have stared at you for an hour, before you even looked at me. Usually... men are zoned into me. You were so hard to catch."

"And now... not so much." Michael rolled his hips against Brian's hardness. "Damn... I'm ready for you... again..."

"Such a chore." Amazingly Brian's eyes twinkled in the dark from the leftover light pouring through.

Michael lowered his head, merging their mouths again and again. "I think I like you more then I used to."

"Oh, yeah?"

"I don't know why I know you feel the same... but I do. Otherwise, I never would have separated from David... and washed my hands of Ben." Michael clamped his hands at the back of Brian's neck, making him stare directly into his face. "Are you happy I'm here, at your side, finally?"

Brian closed his eyes, nodding his head. He sat upright, meshing their chest together. He slid out of the robe, lifting Michael slightly above his head. "I'm more happy then you'll ever know." He buried his face in Michael's chest, his nudged over to a nipple.

Michael cried out, arching backward, his fingers grabbing Brian's tangled locks. "Oh... my God..." He strangled out a groan, dipping his face over Brian's head. "I'm happy... you're happy..."

"Michael..."

"Mmm-Hmm?"

"Shush..."

"Okay..." Michael whispered in Brian's ear, licking over the scar and burying his face in the dark brown strands. "I'll save it for later, then."

 

TBC...


	2. OCTOBER

**October**

Michael knocked on the apartment door, pretty sure this wasn't a very good idea. Ben had been in a foul mood the last few times they'd tried to get together. It usually ended up that they'd argue, one of them storming out of the conversation. Lately, it had been Michael. This "invite" was, sort of, Ben's way of attempting to apologize.

Michael didn't like being anywhere where he'd felt he'd been coerced to show up. He certainly felt that way the longer it was taking Ben to answer his door. He raised his hand to knock again, but the paneling opened.

Ben yanked Michael into the apartment, letting the door slam shut, then roughly throwing him against the wood. Ben's body pressed close, lips all over him, hands fondling and caressing all the right places.

This was exactly what Michael had been wanting these long awaited two years, but why now was he suddenly having doubts about Ben? Michael should be in his head, in what was going on right now, but all that continued to roam around was...  
 _ **  
"Where the fuck was Brian tonight? I called... it went to voice mail by the first ring. He only usually does that if he's off with one of his..."**_

"Michael?!" Ben was gripping Michael around his neck, cupping the sides of his head.

"Huh?"

"Uhm... I've been..." Ben swallowed nervously, his eyes shifting over Michael's face. Damn! Was it what he'd feared all along? Were Michael and his husband rekindling their love and marriage? Had he been too late? "... my hand was down your crotch... you're not hard... nor do you look like you want to be here..." He pushed away, standing a few inches in the distance.

Michael wiped a hand over his face. "It's not you, it's me."

"It's YOU... meaning... it's you and David." Ben backed up, hands on his hips. "What's happening with you, Michael? What will it take for you to learn he's not the man for you? That you need to leave him to be happy..."

"Things aren't that simple. I can't walk away, Ben."

Ben felt as if Michael was making excuses not to tell him he'd fallen back in love with his husband. Michael was sure acting different around him these past few weeks, almost a full month. Every once and awhile he'd catch sight of Michael smiling and... he knew he hadn't brought that sparkle to Michael's eyes. Not since they'd first met one another two years ago. "Yes... they are. You walk up to him. You say, 'I'm leaving you. I want a divorce. I love another man.' Then you pack up some clothes and you come home to me."

Michael smiled sweetly reaching out to touch Ben's cheek. "And be what, sweetie? Your roommate? I have no money for rent. I have no job to get money to pay for much of anything." He furrowed his brow in contemplation. "And WHAT exactly are you promising me if I leave David? This..." He flittered his hand around to gesture back and forth between their bodies. "... whatever we have is about as sexless as my marriage is."

"How can you...?" Ben sighed, his eyes lowering in mild shame. "Michael, that's unfair. You know why..."

"Yes, I do. Your HIV status could jeopardize everything. But if we love one another, understand the risks we're facing and we use every amount of precaution... why can't we...?"

"You may feel that way, but I can't take the chance."

"Do you love me? Am I wrong about that?"

Ben stretched out his hand for Michael to grip as he walked him away from the door to head into the living room. "No, you aren't wrong about how I feel. I just feel such pressure when you have to equate how much I truly care for you on whether or not you and I have sex." He stood behind Michael, ridding him of his jacket and setting it on the back of the small dinette chair.

Michael swiveled to face Ben, arms crossed over his chest. "Because... I've been in a three year marriage where my sex life depends on how well I 'perform' my other duties outside the bedroom."

Ben shook his head at how cruel David Cameron sounded when Michael said things like this about his husband. "How the hell did you get in this mess, Michael?"

"Easy. I loved him from afar for years. I was infatuated with his mystery, not knowing how he really was up close. I fell in love with who I dreamed he could be, not who he truly was. I was young when we started dating, had a completely different idea about the sanctity of wedded bliss. This... was not how I thought it'd be." Michael shook his head at his own stupidity and how he couldn't come up with a brilliant plan of escaping.

"What DID you dream?"

"A true partner, in every sense of the word. Someone who would not only compliment my character, but contrast it. I expected my marriage to never be boring, that we would never tire of one another. And... well, it has certainly kept me on my toes." Michael leaned on the back of the huge sectional couch. "But more then anything... more then even knowing the man I love, loves me... I want to know that he's considerate and respectful of me when we're apart. Kind of like he can't help but be reminded of me wherever he turns." He let one side of his mouth lift up.

"How do you mean?" Ben loved having these discussions, because it made him discover how to be with Michael where other men failed.

Michael... sometimes hated to talk about these things. He wished that the man he loved wouldn't NEED to be told how to be with him, he would just know "instinctively". He cleared his throat. "Say... I tell him I love Milky Way chocolate bars. Like I could eat Milky Way bars fifty times a week and not get sick of them. So one day he stops for gas, pumps the tank full and steps inside to pay in the Quickie Mart. But he also wants to pick up some smokes, maybe a bottle of water. He walks toward the counter, ready to pay, but he realizes he's passed through the candy aisle and he stops. He picks up one, then two Milky Way bars... original and dark chocolate, because I've never been specific. Plus... it's an added bonus to hand me two bars, in case I like both."

Ben was lost in chuckles as he shook his head. He had no idea if he could even attempt to be THAT in tune with Michael. Some days, if he was away from Michael for too long, it took him awhile to get back in the "groove" with him. Only because his life apart from Michael took up a majority of his thoughts. "Christ! You have a dizzy intellect that makes you so fuckin' sexy." Then he frowned a little at one thing Michael had stated. "By the way, how did you know I used to smoke?"

"I didn't." Michael found he had somehow slipped Brian into that mini-scenario of the perfect lover/boyfriend. "You quit?"

"Sort of. I only smoke when my nerves are shot."

"Oh." Michael didn't know why that statement was the lamest thing he'd heard in weeks. So, technically, Ben was still a smoker, he hadn't quit at all. Not something to get pissed over, but it made him rethink over things he knew about Ben. In two years, Ben had never bought cigarettes or lit up in front of him. Never had the scent of tobacco over his clothes or on his skin. He doubted Ben could go two hours without being nervous, much less two years and not smoke once. Why was he so bothered by knowing this? "Can we, uh... get down to why I'm here?"

"Oh, geez. Yeah, of course." Ben wandered into the small kitchen off the dinette. "I bought dinner, if you're hungry. We can eat while we go over your paper."

Michael wasn't starving, but he could eat. "What did you get?" Even he and Ben's tastes in food clashed. Ben wasn't a true vegetarian, but he came damn close to ruining some meals they'd tried to have a restaurants. Mainly Ben cooked at home or ordered in, mostly Korean or Thai foods.

"I got you those Thai noodles you liked."

Michael painfully smiled. Liking those noodles had been a misstatement to appease Ben when all he seemed to cook was noodles. It was the sauces used that scared him, sometimes way too spicy for his stomach to contain. "Did you switch to a vegetarian regimen once you got diagnosed?" He suddenly began to think they had never sat down for hours and talked about anything to do with Ben's sickness. It was always something said in the background, then the subject was changed.

"Eh, somewhat." Ben walked the rectangle container over to Michael, with the fork, because he knew how he couldn't quite grasp the "mechanics" of chop sticks. "I tried being a pure vegan, eating nothing but raw or steamed foods. That shit was hard to maintain, difficult to discipline myself to digest on a daily basis. Plus, there's too many times my workouts require me to bulk up."

Michael began eating out of his container, while watching Ben dish his out on a nice ceramic plate. He almost felt like a pig, scarfing down food with his bare hands. He wondered why Ben hadn't offered him a plate. Silly... two years and Michael couldn't even tell what cabinet stored the plates. He'd always take one out of the dishrack, next to the sink. "Why the hell would you need to bulk up?"

"I like my body when I'm fit. I want it to look good." Ben mimicked flexing his biceps, which made Michael chuckle.

"You always look fine to me. Don't get too big. That stuff looks nasty after awhile, like you won't be able to wipe your own ass."

Ben nearly choked on his rice. "Holy... shit!" He knew what Michael was talking about and men who looked like THAT were pathetic in his eyes. "Warn me the next time you want to say something like that." He couldn't help snickering after he composed himself. He picked up his plate, with his chop sticks, setting everything down on the dinette table to run back into the kitchen. "Thanks, babe. You're sweet. We can eat in the living room." He opened the fridge. "Is water okay to drink?"

Michael rolled his eyes, sighing under his breath. What he wouldn't give to not have another water or... hot tea when he was at Ben's. He plopped down on the couch, in one of the ninety degree corners of the sectional. He tucked his legs under his butt, sitting down. "Yeah... it's cool, if that's the only thirst-quenching drink you have."

"I've got some beer."

Michael made a stinky face. It wasn't REAL beer. "And I have car keys. I'm not even chancing my night driving with your four-dollar beer."

Ben wandered in carrying two water bottles under his arm and his plate of food. "I could make us some hot tea."

Michael nearly choked on his noodles. He reached out his hand, watching Ben sit down. "Water... is... fine..."

Ben placed his plate on the coffee table, setting up his area to eat. "Sorry." He licked his finger of some sauce. "I know I haven't been the best company the last few times we've been able to see one another, outside the classroom." He didn't know if he liked how far away Michael was seated from him. He'd give him time, they had all night.

"And inside." Michael muttered loud enough as he sucked in a scoop of noodles, then took a sip of water.

"Excuse me?" Ben was momentarily stunned by what he'd heard.

"You barely acknowledge me in class anymore. I know answers, but you never call on me."

"Have I really done that?" Ben was shocked by what he'd been doing unconsciously, possibly making Michael feel like he was angry at him. "Shit... now I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. I think I know why."

"Oh? Why?" Ben didn't think he was THAT obvious.

Michael set down his container on the coffee table, then folded his arms over his chest. "Tell me the real reason, maybe I'll think about making a complete fool of myself with my theory."

"That'll be difficult. I always find you painfully adorable." Ben smiled, winking over at Michael.

Michael stared down at the carpet to roll his eyes to himself. Adorable? No wonder Ben never wanted to go very far with him during sex. "So spill, Professor. Don't be afraid to be honest."

Ben put his chop sticks down, sitting back on the cushions. He stretched his right arm along the back of the couch. "Invite me to your house on Saturday. I want to meet David."

Michael stared with his mouth agape. "And this makes sense in WHAT altered state of reality?"

Ben crossed his left ankle over his right knee, clamping his left hand over his left calf muscle. "Isn't it customary for the man you're having an affair with to know a little bit more about the man you're cheating on?"

Michael untucked his legs from under his bottom, sitting down the right way. He set his bottle down on the coffee table, next to the near empty food container. "First off... this isn't an 'affair'. It's an awkward situation where I don't love my husband anymore, but I love another man who refuses to have sex with me."

"Michael, you know that's not..."

"Second... I don't know WHAT you and I have to constitute the right for you to invade my private life at home and mess with my husband's psyche. Thirdly... this is so far from my own reasoning, behind your anger toward me, that I almost wish my version was true. Instead of this... Christ!" Michael rubbed both hands over his face. "... what you asked of me."

"You wanted me to be honest and I was. I feel like you're making too many excuses to why you won't leave David and... I'm getting tired of them."

"Shit! Yeah... be fuckin' honest, but don't be a twisted creep about it. I've told you how much I owe David already. The minute I walk out of our marriage, I take four people with me." He started counting them off on one hand. "Ma... Uncle Vic... Jenny and you."

"Me?" Ben put a hand to his chest. "How will you leaving David hurt me?"

"David's been paying for my college courses. I'll be forced to quit."

Ben started shuffling closer to Michael. "I can teach you myself."

"I don't have any money to pay you for tutoring me." Did Ben NOT hear him before?

"I won't take your money anyway. Think of it like the 'buddy system'. We'll help one another become published authors. We could..." Ben's hand began to roam over Michael's left knee.

Michael swiped the hand off his thigh. "That sounds cute and romantic, but let's be realistic, Ben."

"About what?"

"Ever since you told me my 'good' news and 'even better good' news... you've suddenly wanted this relationship to be something more, but you haven't shown me you want me any other way but through what I could write. What fantastic novels I could bring to those publishers and your editor. It's been years since you've last had something published. You keep telling me you have 'something in the works', but I've yet to see you scribble down anything that wasn't related to work or the class."

Ben couldn't believe Michael had actually said those words out loud. "What are you saying? That I'm a one-shot hack writer? A has-been?"

"No, Ben. Ever since you told me they loved my book AND my short stories, you've been excited FOR me. Almost like you're living vicariously through me. Every once and awhile you show me this side to yourself that makes me doubt your sincerity in supporting me. That you might one day..."

"... stab you in the back."

"You have no faith in yourself, Ben. How can you help ME when you can't even help yourself? I've done all that I can to help you without writing words down myself. I don't think you really want it as much anymore, like you used to." Michael sighed, rubbing the outside of his thighs. "I'm sorry. You were honest with me..." And you hit me blindsided with your stupid request, he thought to himself. "... I only thought it fair."

"Do you believe I secretly hate you because you might get two books published, your first time out? That soon you'd be able to sign a contract with a major publisher to write more and I can't get out of the independent market? You think I'm THAT petty?"

"Yes... I do."

"I've suddenly lost my appetite." Ben sat back, staring ahead at the far wall.

"Maybe I should go?" Michael started to get up, but paused when Ben put a hand on his arm.

"Why?"

"Because you're getting angrier by the minute. I can see the vein pumping in the middle of your forehead." Michael pointed to the pulsating vein on the pale skin.

Ben smoothed a hand over his brow. He could feel it, too. "Can you blame me? I feel like I've been personally attacked."

"Warning, Ben. Don't try scare tactics to get me to cave about David. It's my marriage, I'll fuck it up however I feel like. Show me you want me in your bed, not just hanging off your arm. I've done enough of that shit for three years." Michael stood up, walking away from Ben. "I've said my peace and THAT will be the last that subject is brought up. Don't like it... stop making me feel like there's a possibility for an US. Let me go or love me the way I need you to. Never toy with me or my emotions."

Ben tightened his lips, averting his head. "I think you should leave now."

"I was already on my way out." Michael held out his hand. Ben looked at him strangely as if he thought he wanted a handshake. "I'll need my paper back."

Ben sighed, standing to reach for the manila file folder he'd slipped the paper into. He slapped it into Michael's hand. "If it matters anything to you, I've made some small grammatical corrections in the margins. That's what I would've discussed with you tonight." He really didn't know at what point he'd gone wrong. Michael had arrived with this "chip" on his shoulder, like he didn't really want to be here.

"I'll see you in class, Ben." Michael wandered around the couch to pick up his jacket and let himself out the door. "G'night."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Normally there would be a buzzer before the knocking on his front door. Instead, there was only knocking and persistent, at that.

Brian looked at the gorgeous man sitting beside him on the low-laying couch, coming out of the wall. He lifted the wine glass in a silent salute, thinking he could ignore the sound below the music playing on the stereo. He was actually having a good time, though he had to talk himself into this dinner and late night drink. He could probably even convince his body the fuck would be worth it.

"Is someone knocking on your door?"

Brian sighed, bending to place his wine glass on the hardwood floor. "Excuse me. I have some chatty neighbors." He placed his right hand on the back of the leather cushion to lift his body up.

A roaming hand came over to trace over top, caressing the skin with bare finger tips. They slid up his wrist, tugging him to lower his torso. "I'll be here when you get back, beautiful." The eyes read a long night of fucking was in store when Brian returned. He bit his own bottom lip, sliding out of his suit jacket. "Why don't I... step into the bedroom... get a little more comfortable..." He stood up, his height nearly matching Brian's.

Brian felt the chill down his spine as the wine moistened lips suckled at his neck. "Beautiful" almost gave him a feeling that you were already forgetting what you were doing when you didn't want to recall names. Sort of like a PC romantic "Hey, you". He dipped his head, kissing the jaw, then over to the open mouth. "There will certainly be more where that came from." He started undoing the knot of the tie, pulling the expensive silk off the neck to start the man off in undressing.

The knock sounded again.

Brian blinked slowly as he watched the retreating body of perfection slide open his bedroom doors, then slide them closed again. He moved to turn down the stereo and make his way past the loft space down the hallway to the door. The second doorway into his bedroom, in this hallway, was closed, as well. He reached for the knob and opened the paneling.

No one was there.

"Wha-?" Brian stared, wiped his eyes, then walked beyond the threshold. He looked down the corridor. He spotted his door knocker. "What the fuck are you doing over there? Playing ditch-n-run on my doorstep?"

Michael was leaning on the opposite wall, a good distance down on the left from Brian's front door. "I've obviously come at a bad time. I'm interrupting." He was turning to bolt down the hallway.

"Michael!" Brian let the spring on his door close, keeping their conversation contained outside. "I've known you only one month and while this, uh... friendship we're building has been great, the fact that I seem to have become your GO-TO buddy when something's wrong... distresses me. You need to call before you pop on over."

Michael squinted his eyes at Brian. "What makes you think something is wrong?"

Brian frowned in curiosity. "And why did you say that it's obvious you've come at a bad time?"

They looked at one another, smiling at the hilarity. They'd grown into this crazy dialogue of paying attention to every single word each other uttered. It was refreshing for both men and sometimes left them cracking one another up.

Michael walked closer to Brian as he talked. "I heard the music. Thought it was one of your neighbors." He glanced at his watch. "I realized what time it was... and that you haven't had your cell on almost all day. I've been getting nothing but your voicemail." His brown eyes flickered over the way Brian was dressed. He felt his body grow warm and shiver. "Well... I don't need a college degree to figure this out. Plus..."

"Plus... what?" Brian leaned his left shoulder on the wall next to his doorframe. He loved listening to Michael explain his way out of situations.

"You look..." Michael was at a loss for words. "... fuckin' amazin'. Like how you always look when you're out on the prowl. There's something alight in your eyes... and your body language. You... my friend, are entertaining a man in your home... and I should be getting back to mine." He came up to the same wall Brian was leaning on, sliding near. He didn't feel like leaving, he could actually sustain his body quite nicely with the heat Brian was radiating that was gearing for sex.

"I turned my phone off for several reasons, but tonight wasn't one of them." Brian turned to land on his back. He couldn't believe he was willing to stand out here, with a ready-n-waiting fuck in his bed, to explain WHY to Michael.

Michael nodded in understanding. "Sean's been laying it on pretty heavy with David, too. It's actually been a saving grace to me to NOT have to give lame excuses to being late, arriving home at all hours of the night." He looked down at Brian's arm resting on his thigh, seeing something Brian had done to his clothes that made him smile with glee. "Are you really on a date DATE? Or are you... swaying another vote for Sean?"

Brian crossed his arms over his chest. "I knew this guy in college. We, uh... had this... fling, but he had to bail school before graduation. Personal reasons, I guess. I think his father went bankrupt or something. Used to be some big mogul in Pittsburgh real estate."

Michael decided to rest on the wall like Brian was, on his back. "You liked him, didn't you?"

Brian shrugged one shoulder, shaking his head. "I dunno. Never had the chance to find out."

Michael was sliding closer, his right biceps brushing Brian's left. "You, uh... you're wearing my..." He brought up his hand to touch the crushed velvet sleeve. It tickled him to see that Brian had folded his cuffs back like he'd been taught. "... the jacket." He hadn't seen the thing in a few weeks. When Brian wore it, he couldn't help think about what Brian would look like in nothing else but... the crushed velvet. Sometimes his day dreams turned it into a long bed sheet of the same material Brian was tangled up in. He cleared his throat and tucked his hand behind his back.

"What?" Brian smirked, playing like he hadn't heard Michael's slip with the word, wanting possession of his jacket. Or was it possession of his body IN the jacket? He could read something burning in those deepening brown eyes.

"Nothing. Ben and I had another fight."

"What else is new? Did you break up this time?"

"How can we break-up? I don't even..." Michael shook his head, catching Brian's glare. "I gave him an ultimatum. But not before I think I may have given him an idea I thought he was a hack... trying to mooch off my tentative success in being a publisher author."

"Ouch!" Brian lost himself in snickers. "So you DO listen to me!" He shuffled around to flip and plant two hands above Michael's head, on the wall. He leaned in close to Michael's breathing space, inhaling the scent of his shampoo and cologne. He wanted Michael to grab his waist... slip his hands over his flanks and down to his waist. He wanted that touch badly.

Michael reached out to gently caress the jacket's lapels. "Ben wants to meet David. Soon. Says it's like the... 'affair-ee's' prerogative to know the man his lover is cheating on."

Brian was dumbfounded. "Fuck! Does he have a death wish? 'Cause he certainly doesn't have a functioning brain." His palms slid down to rest beside Michael's shoulders.

"I may not love my husband anymore. I may even want out of my marriage." Michael finally raised his eyes to Brian's, finding the hazel orbs nearer then he thought. He swallowed with some difficulty. "But... I can't just walk away, Brian." He brought his hands down to surround Brian's flanks and grip the trim waist, under the jacket. His hands shook to feel the warmth of Brian's feverish skin, or was that HIM? "No matter how much I know I need to... I'm trapped. David's got me, caught. There's no way out for me without hurting everyone in my life." He thought he could hear Brian's throat gulp, his breathing a bit labored as if his touch was effecting him.

Brian didn't know how Michael continued to do it, suffer for others in his life. He found his arms encircling the slight frame in a warm embrace of encouragement. He tucked his face in Michael's neck. He hoped Michael took this gesture the way it was meant. When he pulled away, he let his fingers brush down Michael's cheek. "Have you eaten?" He knew what was about to happen and it would be the death of Brian Kinney for sure.

Michael's arms had slipped further under Brian's jacket, locking at his back. He squeezed tight, not sure if Brian knew what he was saying without words. "I had some Thai noodles at Ben's." He chuckled at Brian's frown and the way he stuck his tongue out to say Thai noodles were NOT a tasty treat.

"Come on..." Brian wrapped his arm about Michael's shoulders, steering him out of the corridor into his loft. "... get in here." He pushed Michael in and lifted his foot to press a soft tap to the cute behind when he refused to move further in. "I think there's plenty of leftovers in the fridge you can munch on."

"... but your..." Michael sent his thumb over his shoulder toward the bedroom or the rest of the loft area. "... date..."

Brian let the door shut as he bent to whisper into Michael's ear, humming the words along his skin. "I don't find myself as attracted to him as I once was. I wasn't quite... geared up for him, yet..."

"You were gettin' there, though?" Michael kept his voice at a hushed whisper. "So why...?" He didn't know why he was so nosey about this complete stranger who was probably buck naked in Brian's bed.

Brian clamped his hands on Michael's shoulders, taking off his jacket. He placed his palm on Michael's spine to push him toward the kitchen. "He works on the Governor's staff. A favor... and a freebie, for Sean."

Michael quickly swiveled, butting chests with Brian. "And if I hadn't shown up, you could have 'sealed the deal'." He lowered his eyes in shame.

Brian cupped Michael's neck, lifting his head up. "Michael, I may be an asshole jerk to some, but I know when a friend needs me. I've never actually had one who didn't want something of me, because I was rich or had the right connections. I like that you arrived on my doorstep, making me feel guilty for not turning my phone on."

"Are you sure?" Michael reached up to rub Brian's left wrist and forearm. It looked and felt as if he was stroking something else on Brian. So he stopped the motion and simply clung to the limb. "I'll understand if you want me to..."

"Brian?"

Both Brian and Michael turned to face the half-naked man in the hallway. Little did he know that behind him was a wall of one huge mirror. It was the backing to the shelving unit in Brian's bedroom. The man wore nothing but his jockstrap and though his cock and balls were covered, they both had a nice view of his curved ass cheeks in the reflection. They had a difficult time not staring in the mirror, between snickers and tears pooling in their eyes.

Poor guy... getting ogled by two horny men, neither who were horny for him...

Brian cleared his throat, throwing his arm around Michael's shoulders. He loved how Michael immediately grabbed for his dangling hand, threading their fingers. "Funny about knocks on doors... we never know who'll be behind them."

At the word "behind", Michael nearly lost it completely. "I, uh... think I'll check your... uh, fridge for something. Pardon me." He had to run away or die laughing.

The man stepped closer, making his bare cheeks rub together. "This ISN'T one of your neighbors?" The frustrations of having been been disturbed from having a good fuck session was sending his ass into mad clenching and unclenching fits.

Brian could feel his face grow red from avoiding laughter. "Nah... good friend..."

Michael popped his head up. "Best Friend!"

Brian emphatically nodded his head, pointing with his thumb over to Michael. "... Michael..."

"Is this your way of kicking me out?" The man crossed arms over his lower abs, one hip cocked and in the mirror it made his butt look like it was frowning.

Brian had to turn away and walk on the other side of the breakfast bar to avoid the mirror. Dear God! Save me! "While I, uh... used to love engaging in threesomes... eons ago..." He was walking around the counter to stand near Michael. "... I don't swing that way anymore."

Michael loved Brian's fridge. It was three small doors underneath his breakfast bar. He slammed the doors closed, standing up.

The man gave Michael the "once over". "Too bad. I like brunettes. Your friend is kinda cute... in that wholesome boy next door way." He thought that sounded like a turn-on.

Michael wasn't impressed, shaking his head in decline.

Brian held up Michael's right hand. "Too late. Michael's happily married."

The man went pale. "You've got a STRAIGHT best friend?"

Brian and Michael stopped snickering to look at one another in silence.

 _**"Michael's gay"  
"I'm gay."** _

The man put a hand to his belly, feigning laughter of his own. "Happily married, did you say?" He chuckled at the very idea. "AND he's gay? AND he's STILL your best FRIEND? What happened to you Brian Kinney?" He shook his head sadly.

Brian was done, not finding anything funny anymore. "Go find your clothes... and get out!"

Michael was a tad upset himself, but more for Brian's sake. "Brian, it's alright. He's entitled to his opinion. I did ruin your night together." He reached out for his jacket in Brian's arms. "Why don't I just leave..."

Brian hid the jacket behind his back. "No! YOU... can stay." He then moved to saunter closer to the man as they backtracked his steps into the bedroom. "YOU... leave... now!"

"Gladly." The man sneered, shaking his head in sadness. "I couldn't believe it when they told me. You HAVE changed, Brian." His eyes flicked behind Brian in the direction of the kitchen. "Sad to see that someone was actually able to 'neuter' the King Stud of Liberty Avenue."

"Maybe I just have better taste then to step into bed with any old skank who'll spread his legs for me." Brian bit back in anger, turning away to venture into the living room, picking up the jacket and tie off the floor. He carried them back through to the hallway, meeting up with the exiting near naked body. He couldn't even stay long enough to dress properly. Brian would at least have allowed him that, but the guy was being a complete ass.

"Fuck you, Kinney." Button-down shirt and trousers barely on, the man stood in the open front doorway trying to slip into his shoes without socks.

"Uhm, never... thank-you-n-buh-bye!" Brian pushed the door closed and locked every single lock on the wood frame.

"Prick!!"

They heard a shoe being thrown at the door.

Brian wandered down the hallway to step into the kitchen. "Now THAT will be an awkward college reunion."

Michael had to chuckle, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. He enjoyed Brian's company immensely because they always saw humor in nearly everything and the same things. This night was no exception. "I bet he'll be on the alumni committee. You'll never get the invite to RSVP." To say he wasn't upset the man left would be an understatement.

"Remind me to shed a tear later." Brian set Michael's jacket on the back of one of the stool chairs. He strolled into the living room to snatch the two wine glasses and the wine bottle. He set them on the counter, climbing up to sit down.

"You were really harsh to him, Brian. I've heard worse from David and let it slide." Michel furrowed his brow in perplexity. "Why did you stick up for me?"

Brian groaned and buried his face in his folded arms. "I don't like others talkin' about people I care for. Especially when they don't know the situation or the circumstances." He turned to lay his cheek down to face one way.

"You've had the experience first hand with the press. Couldn't have been easy being related to someone constantly in the political limelight. Even as a cousin."

"I've lived under a microscope for years. What I wouldn't give to be 'normal' again."

"Don't worry. I hear it's not all that great, either."

Brian softly chuckled, sitting upright. "Yeah, I know."

"So... tell me... have you ever thought of me, in that way?" Michael was leaning over the breakfast bar counter top.

Brian had been stretching when Michael asked him. "What way?"

Michael stepped around the breakfast bar, treating it as if it were a "real" bar, like Woody's. "We're both gay men... same age (give or take a few months)..." He saw Brian pat his chest. " ... yes, you are younger then me, for a few months..." He snickered and shook his head at how adorable Brian could be when he was unsettled into quiet. "... you're gorgeous and I'm, somewhat, tolerably attractive. Have you ever thought about me... like you do other men?" He hopped backward onto the stool beside Brian's.

"Michael... don't do this to yourself. It's not fair to either of us."

"Fair?" Michael snorted as he swung himself to face Brian. "It's the pink elephant in the room neither of us can ignore whenever we're together."

"Pink? How appropriate."

"I've wondered something..."

"What?" Brian took a gulp of the rest of the wine in one glass.

"... how it would be to feel your lips on mine."

Brian stopped moving, then quickly drank the second glass of wine. "Michael, don't..." He reached out to place a hand on Michael's knee, butting up against his thigh.

"Don't tell me you haven't thought the same?"

"Of course I have." Brian wiped at his lips with the back of his hand, wishing he had somewhere else to look but at Michael's inquisitive, curious face. "... and sometimes..." He licked the wine residue from his top lip. "... more then just your lips."

Michael moaned under his breath. "What the fuck is our damage, huh? That we can sit here and not jump each other's bones?"

"I actually like you... and I care how you feel... what you think about me."

"But shouldn't that be what draws us into bed with one another? I love Ben, I think he's sexy... I want him to fuck me and it tends to make the feelings wane a little each day he doesn't take it one step further." Michael rubbed his hand over his cheek and jaw, sliding it back to soothe his nape. There was too much quiet, that Michael went on, in a different direction of the conversation. "Christ... I like you, too, Brian. In fact, there are some days, when I'm alone... that I can't wait to know more. Every single detail about you. Like, say... your scar."

Brian blushed, dipping his head. "I take great pains to hide this thing." He rubbed the scar with his right hand. He shuffled his stool around to grip the outside of Michael's knees.

"I saw it the night we met. I wanted to touch it... kiss it. Stupid, I know. To think I could press my lips over an old, healed scar and hope that I could take away some of your pain, make you feel better."

"Dear god... that's the sexiest thing anyone's said to me about my scar..." Brian closed his lids, sliding his hands up Michael's thighs, soothing the surface of the trouser material. "No one ever asks about it. Or seems to care how I got it."

Michael smiled, lowering his hands to place them on top of Brian's hands. "I have this feeling I'll be around for you to tell me about it one day."

Brian smirked, looking under his brown lashes at Michael. "Think we'll last that long?"

Michael slowly nodded his head. "Do you mind if I make a small request of you?"

"No. Ask me."

"Don't wear the jacket for anyone but me."

Brian was stunned into silence, staring. "Duly noted... and stored away."

Michael slid closer to Brian, the hands now coming around to his backside. "Have YOU eaten?" Then he slid off the stool, landing in Brian's arms. He reached out to grip HIS jacket on Brian.

Their faces and lips mere inches apart, breathes mingling.

"No. I didn't have much at dinner. Just a lot of alcohol." Brian was twisting and turning his head as Michael played with the jacket collar and lapels.

Michael brought over his hand to caress Brian's cheek. "Wow. You really did have to work yourself up to tonight." His face hovered near Brian's mouth, his nose skimming delicate flesh. "You must be as sexually frustrated as I sometimes get after leaving Ben's place. I didn't mean to chase your guaranteed fuck away."

"Yeah, right. I'll find you a box of Kleenex." Brian wiped away invisible tears, with his pinky, from Michael's cheeks.

Michael couldn't help the smile growing on his face. " So... you happy I'm here?"

Brian nodded his head, unable to speak. His eyes wouldn't stop moving to watch Michael's lips.

"Go change into something more comfortable. I'll see if I can scavenge around for a decent late night snack for us." Michael rolled his wrist over. It was only 10pm. "Do you mind if I stay awhile?"

"No. I was gonna ask you if you wanted to stay for a few hours."

"Isn't it strange how alike we think?" Michael tilted his head with a slight lift to the corner of his mouth.

"Strange... and wonderful, Michael." Brian felt Michael squeeze him, then turn to walk away. He jumped off the stool, nearly running a fire trail to his bedroom to undress.

Brian wished he had time to shower and jerk off, but god damn if it wasn't too thrilling to be around Michael with this perpetual soft hard-on laying hidden. He was pretty sure Michael had the same problem. And that thought pleased him to no end.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Michael didn't leave until 1am.

They found themselves laying on the couch, curled around one another, very innocently. Michael on the bottom, Brian on top. Brian buried his face in Michael's stomach.

Their dinner had been intimate and informal, eating on his floor, watching DVDs of movies they both had already seen. They didn't even use plates, they ate out of the pots and pans with large spoons. Plenty of empty beer bottles littered the coffee table. Michael drank his share early on in the meal, but stopped to drink Brian's fabulous array of beverages stocked in the fridge.

No wonder he loved spending time with Brian. He seemed like a real, normal guy.

Michael shuffled awake, shaking Brian's shoulder. "Hey... it's a little after one in the morning. I should be heading home."

"Why are we whispering?"

Michael giggled, holding his belly. "I dunno."

Brian climb off of Michael, holding down a hand for him to take. "C'mon, nutcase... I'll walk you down to your car."

"Brian, you're barely awake yourself. You don't actually live in a bad neighborhood."

"Let me do this for you. I'll sleep better tonight." Brian's hand tightened in Michael's. "I'd like it better if you could stay the entire night, but... I understand." He broke apart from Michael. "I'll get my shoes... meet you down the hall at the door." He slid open one side of the paneling that separated his bedroom from the rest of the loft.

Michael quickly swiped up his shoes, wandering over to snag his jacket. He put them both on as he walked down the short hallway. He saw Brian waiting for him, holding the door open with his rear. "Did you mean what you said... earlier?" He was trying to fix his jacket collar, but Brian swatted his hands away to fix it himself.

"Michael..." Brian turned to lock up his loft. "... be more specific."

"You really think I should cut Ben some slack? Give him another chance?" Michael didn't know why, but his sudden instinct was to wrap his arm about Brian's waist.

Brian wrapped his arm loosely about Michael's shoulder as they walked toward the elevator. "Well... ultimately it's up to you. You both are way beyond frustrated. You... sexually. Ben... mentally. You both go at one another with teeth and claws bared. Probably wasn't easy..." He yawned, rubbing at his neck as they waited for the elevator to arrive. "... ahhh, excuse me... for him to hear what you said, from someone who loves him."

"I said it because I do care about him. But... yeah, I did kind of sound like a prissy jackass."

The ring of the elevator signified the opening of the doors. They climbed on, separating, on opposites side of the box.

Brian pressed the "L" button for Lobby. "But... in your defense, you were attacking him from a position of..." He furrowed his brow in confusion. "... what are you and Ben actually?"

"Idiots!"

"Sheesh. I'm not gonna point fingers and call names. I've done worse."

They got off the elevator, waving to the security guard at the Lobby front desk. They waited to be buzzed through the two doors. Once they were outside, they paused as if wishing they had stayed indoors. It was quite chilly now, this early in the morning. They walked toward Michael's car next to Brian's parking spot.

Michael dug out his keys, fitting it into the lock. "You were right, though. Physically or emotionally, I'm detached from David and becoming attached to Ben. I AM cheating... having an affair, of sorts. But only emotionally." He shook his head at how pathetic that sounded. "Like always... I've never been normal."

Brian leaned back on his car, looking at Michael. He stuffed his hand in his jacket pockets. "You're too nice. Thoughtful and considerate of other's feelings. One day you'll realize when it's your time."

Michael leaned on his car. "I should kiss you for that, but I'm afraid all I can spare is a friendly hug."

Brian pushed himself up, arms wide. "That'll do."

Michael almost jumped into Brian's embrace, feeling the strong arms hold him tight. He lowered his head to press his lips to Brian's scar. He'd never found himself this close to do this move... and now was his chance. He felt Brian go stiff and bury his face further in his neck and shoulder. He nudged his cheek on the side of Brian's ear. "I appreciate your presence in my life, Brian. Even if you feel no one else does."

"Michael..."

As they drew apart, Michael brought up his hand to cover Brian's mouth. "Hush. Don't say a thing. I'm already in two relationships that are spinning out of control. I wanna do this right... with you... and not fuck it up. Sorry." He dropped his hand, letting his forehead fall onto Brian's chin. "... you'll find me saying things out of context, blurting words out or doing things you're not expecting."

Brian squeezed harder. "I'm afraid to let go... lose this moment..." Lose you...

Michael giggled in Brian's ear, returning the squeeze. "I'll allow it, just this once. But, really... we have a lifetime to figure this out, work on ourselves and our emotional baggage. We don't seem to mind one another's hang-ups."

Brian pulled back, looking down at Michael. "It was my father."

Michael wide brown eyes darted over Brian's face. "What was?"

"The one who gave me the scar."

"Oh... Brian..." Michael reached up to pet Brian's right cheek.

"Sometimes..." Brian smiled painfully. "... a 'lifetime' for me doesn't ever sound like enough."

"You didn't have to tell me."

"I did, but there's more. Much more."

Michael wanted to hold Brian again, but upstairs in the loft... in Brian's bed, under some covers... preferably naked. He wanted skin on skin contact. He wanted to feel how alive Brian was, because he knew that was how he fucked. He just... knew. "I don't want to leave you now."

"You should. David will worry."

Michael swallowed his desires down, seeing the same fires churning in Brian. All that they had left, connected, were their hands. "Are you invited with Sean on Saturday?"

"I'm not sure. That's the garden party charity thing for the Children's Fund, right?"

"Yeah. I'm..." Michael dipped his head, a bit embarrassed. "... Jenny's staying with me for the weekend."

"Your daughter?" Brian's grip tightened on Michael's hands. The sweet smile spreading over his lips visible.

"Yes. She's got her Daddy wrapped around her pinky."

"Lucky girl... to have a Daddy like you..."

"Thanks. Can you tell David that for me?" Michael opened his driver door and climbed in. Brian closed the door. "I'll see you Saturday."

"I'll be there..." Brian tapped the wind ledge. "... but I might be late."

Michael blinked up at Brian with a silly grin. "As long as you can make it, I don't care when you show up."

"Can't wait to meet Jenny. I thought you might have been keeping her from me."

Michael averted his head. "No. That was never the reason."

Brian could tell the subject was sensitive. "If you need to talk, Michael. Call me. I'll keep my cell on just for you."

"Thanks, Brian. Sweet dreams." Michael backed out of the parking spot and waved as he drove away.

Brian watched the tail lights dim in the distance, feeling a sudden spark of coldness, the bitter truth of loneliness. He'd never felt this way with any other man. What the hell was wrong with him?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"He's here!" Emmett sounded too excitable.

"Brian!? Fuck! Finally! It's about time." Michael was about ready to call to see if Brian was alright.

"No, sweetie." Emmett grabbed Michael's biceps, turning him around to see who was coming through the side gate from the driveway. "Ben."

"What?" Michael moaned in torment. "Where's David?"

Emmett pointed up to their right. "Up on the deck with Eric. David's been showing The Senator's baby brother how to cook steak right. Rare, Medium Rare, Medium Well, Well Done and Burnt."

"Shit!"

"Oh, my. He's looking for David."

"Has he spotted him?"

"No, I don't think..."

"Jesus H. Christ!"

"Honey, he can't help you now, except give you sanctuary."

Michael grabbed Emmett's arm and began to walk. "C'mon... let's see if we can head him off at the pas-..."

Michael and Emmett stood completely shocked at who came to their rescue.

"Well..." Emmett let out a long sigh. "... now THAT was something unexpected."

Michael smirked, his eyes zeroing on Brian's back and backside. He spoke a little breathlessly. "... Brian..." Never had he been so happy to see someone in all his life. His heart leaped with instant love and gratification.

Emmett shook his head, looking between Michael's face and Brian's actions. "That boy... loves to swoop in and save your day. I wish I had a 'hero' in my life."

"He is pretty exceptional, isn't he?"

"I wouldn't go that far, sweetie." Emmett crossed his arms over his chest. "I used to find your professor so lovely to look at, such a dreamboat." He kept turning his head as if looking at a painting on the wall. "But standing next to Brian... Ben looks a tad..."

"...dull..."

"Mmm... I was gonna say 'dim', but they both mean the same." Emmett could see how both Alpha males were trying to out duke each other by butting chests. But Brian was the more calm of the two, placing a hand on Ben's chest to hold him back, then on his shoulder as he talked with him. "What is Brian saying to make Ben look so dejected?"

"Maybe something I've been trying to make clear for weeks." Michel felt his heart clench at even without him being aware, Brian stuck up for him. He actually managed to get Ben to settle down.

"Wait a minute! Hold the Phone!"

Michael shifted his head around, trying to see what Emmett saw. "What now?"

"The Senator... two o'clock. How does he know Ben?"

"What do you mean?" Michael watched how Sean bent his head low to Brian, then turned to face Ben. Jenny was still in Sean's arms.

"I say Sean-y-boy's looking a leeettle peak-ed in the face."

Michael shrugged one shoulder. "Sean does a lot of campaigning at the college. Young Republicans and all. Maybe Ben and he have bumped in the halls."

"They've certainly bumped someTHING and someWHERE."

"We should make our way over."

"Let's bring them some watered down punch."

Michael acted offended. "Fruit Beverage. It 100% real fruit juice with no sugar added."

"Hey, I know a costly rip-off of Hawaiian Punch when I taste it. Might as well call it Diet Koolaid."

"Shut up... and carry." Michael picked up two glasses, while gesturing Emmett to pick up three.

"Ooooo..." Emmett was trying not to spill any liquid in all his excitability. "... this is sooo gonna be good. Like a sappy, filthy daytime melodrama."

"Em!"

"Right behind you, butter buns!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sean had passed Jenny Rebecca to his younger cousin, Brian, who took to carrying the little girl like a pro. Every so often he'd forget she was in his arms as she was forced to hold on for dear life. Then he'd hear a giggle in his ear, sounding like Michael. He'd pause, hazel eyes intent on melting brown... and with a first, second... then fifth and sixth glance, Brian knew his heart had been stolen once again. Dammit!

He felt a cool touch to his back, near his lumbar spine. He turned to face Jenny's father, holding out a glass of punch. He cleared his throat, rearranging Jenny to his other hip. "I'm sorry. Sean kind of threw her in my arms. Do you want her back?"

Michael saw that Jenny couldn't keep her eyes off Brian's face, her sticky fingers out of his hair nor rid her permanent smile from her tiny mouth. Lucky... lucky girl to be held in those arms. "She's never looked happier. You're doing fine. A natural. Punch?" He held the glass further up.

"Thanks." Brian took the plastic cup, realizing he might have a tug of war on his hands with Jenny.

Michael watched Emmett expertly worm his way in between the two blond men, Ben and Sean, making them both settle into silence and realize where they were. "Explain to me what's going on?"

They were standing a bit of a distance away from everyone else.

"When I came in, I recognized Ben. I knew how much you didn't want him to ruin this party for you. Had to stop him from making the hugest mistake ever." Jenny began to grunt, wanting a sip. Brian lifted a lone eyebrow to Michael. "Can she?"

"Just help her to hold the cup to her lips." Michael drank from his own cup, hiding his words inside the plastic. "Did you have to resort to kissing him?"

"Hey... he stopped in his tracks. He never reached David, did he?"

"Yes, it certainly worked." Michael chuckled lightly, shaking his head. "Now you've gone just about as far as I have with Ben... without the hurried, awkward handjobs."

"Well, give me time. We are outdoors, in broad daylight and children are present" Brian held up Jenny as an example. "With the cover of night in few hours, I'll be able to make my move."

Michael knew Brian wouldn't make any kind of move. "That's not all, is it? Why did Sean come over?"

"It seems Sean and Ben have a, uh... history?"

"Sexual?"

Brian swiveled to block Michael's eye line toward the three people in front of them. "Why would I know a thing like that?"

"He's your cousin, Brian. You could be close. You know Sean's background better then I know Ben's." Michael shrugged his shoulders, reaching out to play with Brian's shirt. He made it look as if he was tickling his daughter's small foot on Brian's chest. "Plus... their eye contact and body language can be great 'tells' to something from their past. Especially if they were linked emotionally."

"All I do know is, from what their conversation told me, Ben is a part of a political action to knock one of Sean's policies off the books. Sean thought he'd come here to rattle cages... make waves. Stage a one-man protest, I guess."

"Soooo... my ass is more then covered."

Brian chuckled, nodding his head in agreement. "So is mine. I was covered either way, for you or Sean. But since Sean thanked me for preventing Ben from ruining his party... I..."

"Now... it's my turn..." Michael grabbed for Brian's empty cup, placing his inside, then setting the cups down on a portion of the deck they stood near.

"Huh?" Brian hugged Jenny tighter in his arms.

"... to thank you..."

"But, Michael, we're out in the open. There's David... and Ben..." Brian switched sides again, placing Jenny on his right hip.

"Watch this. I'll show you something cool about holding Jenny when I'm around."

"What?" Brian should have let it happen, not asked. His single word wounded like puberty just hit.

Michael sent his left hand to smooth over Jenny's back, the right hand went around Brian's waist. He meshed chests with Brian's, making it look as if he was giving love and smooches to his baby daughter who liked the sensations of tickles on her belly. "She gives me a great excuse to cuddle... touch you inappropriately in public, right in front of my husband's eyes."

"You..." Brian spoke in hushed whispers in Michael's ear, his breath blowing through raven black strands of hair. "... are a dangerous man and a terrible influence on your child."

Michael closed his eyes in mild ecstasy. "You... smell fantastic."

"Michael?"

"Yes?" Michael opened his lids to find Brian's hazel ones gazing directly into him. He wished he could kiss those lips.

"I'm never handing you your daughter back. Ever."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
 **January... 4 months later...**

Brian arched as he felt the tongue roll over his sensitive skin. "Oh, sweet jesus... you're gonna kill me." He cried out to enter Michael's body this instance.

Michael pushed gently on Brian's chest for him to lay back in the chair. "Sit back. Relax. Let me take care of you, for once."

Brian's breathing was labored, his hips rolling in constant need. "... but... no condom..."

Michael chuckled, bending to kiss Brian's open mouth, licking around his lips. "Oh ye of little faith." He pretended as if he magically pulled a condom packet from behind Brian's ear.

"Where did you...?" Brian shook his head, not really caring. "Never mind. Put it on... quick... please..." He reached over to grab onto the arms of the chair, groaning in ecstasy as he felt the deft hands sheath him in seconds.

"Brian..." Michael placed the latex over Brian's erection, stroking a few motions before he lowered his body onto the cock tip. He sucked air between his teeth as he sank down fully on the stiffness. His body was growing used to how thick and hot the length was. "Oh... yeah..." He latched onto the back of the chair. His pelvis was already thrusting toward Brian. "... this one's gonna be a quickie..." He could already feel the orgasm in him rise and rise. He had felt it behind his last one as he'd stroked himself in bed a few minutes ago.

As Michael plunged down, Brian counter thrust. Their bodies smacking together in tandem as they both came at the exact same time.

"... bed... now..." Michael pleaded to be taken again on the bed as he wrapped both arms about Brian's neck, holding on.

"Way ahead of you." With a wet kiss to Michael's lips, Brian lifted them out of the chair to carry them to the mattress. He still lay embedded in Michael, semi-hard.

Michael scooted up further as they lay crossways on the bed. His feet planted flat on the sheets, he widened his thighs the harder and faster Brian pushed in and out.

Brian was hovering over his torso, hands placed on either side of Michael's head. He lowered his face to mesh their lips, kissing sloppily, tongues fighting for entrance.

"... augh... you feel so good..." Michael slid his hands under Brian's armpits to hook beneath, giving him a different grip of Brian's body.

"You feel... just perfect... around me..." Brian sent his lips down Michael's neck, licking down the throat and over the collar. "... in more ways then one..." He felt Michael's finger tips lightly scratch down his back, tracing his spine. This caused him to slow down a bit.

"... yes, yes..." Michael could feel his prostrate being stroked, the sensation causing him to feel another orgasm surface. "... oh, yes... harder..." He begged on a whimper.

"Michael..." Brian reached out to caress Michael's face.

"... please..." Michael turned his lips into Brian's palm, kissing and suckling the skin. "... I won't break. I promise. I need you... you're so gentle... always... even when you..." He was silenced with a rough liplock.

As Brian picked up his speed, Michael flexed his inner muscles, causing enough friction to make Brian ejaculate first. Then Michael, himself, as he felt each spurt of semen in his body. Brian collapsed on top of Michael, Michael enveloped both arms and legs around Brian's limp form.

They lay like that, spent, deeply breathing... Michael's sperm sticking them together.

Michael brought up a hand to sift through the back of Brian's head. "What else were you thinking about?"

Brian lifted his head from the tucked position in Michael's neck. "Why are you so curious?"

"I want your mind to only be filled with me... me... me... me... me..." With each inflection of his voice, he pressed a quick kiss to Brian's moist skin.

Brian shifted their bodies, having to pull out of Michael. He soothed the abdomen muscles when he heard Michael groan at the loss of fullness. He tied off the condom end and discarded the waste in a nearby trash can. "Don't worry. You've been on my mind, non stop, for months now."

Michael began to caress Brian's chest above him, his thumb pads rubbing the sensitive nipples. "Am I gonna have to resort to other methods to get you to spill, Brian?"

Brian chuckled deeply, never having been this playful in bed with anyone. "Alright! Okay! Lay off the nipple twisting!" He gestured with his head that they should pull back the sheets and rest on the pillows, if they were gonna "talk". Brian was propped up high on the pillows, drawing his right leg up and bending at the knee, left leg stretched out. Michael lay next to him, both legs stretched out. He let his head fall onto Brian's shoulder joint, twining the arms in the center of their bodies together. Brian leaned over to rest his cheek on Michael's dark hair. "That night you came over to the loft. I kicked out that sure thing fuck from college... and gave him up for a dinner and a movie with you."

"Ahhh..." Michael sighed at the memory. "I loved that night. Your crushed velvet jacket... Jock Strap boy's bare butt in the mirror..." He and Brian shared a few chuckles. "God, that was funny." He rolled onto his side, throwing a leg between Brian's legs. He brought up his left hand to caress Brian's chest, drawing circles with his fingers. "I kissed your scar... and you told me Jack did it."

Brian let go of Michael's arm, encircling his limb about Michael's back to hold him close to his side. "I haven't finished the story, yet."

Michael stretched his arm fully across Brian's torso, nestling into the warmth of Brian's body. "When you told me that night, I wanted to take you back upstairs and hold you like this... naked, under the sheets... skin on skin contact so I could feel how alive you always are." His flat palm soothed over Brian's stomach, daring to go lower to his pubic bone and hair. "How you possibly used your body when fucking the men in your bed..." He sent his lips to kiss the soft skin on the shoulder. "... preferably me..."

"No time like the present." Brian saw the way Michael shifted his body, causing their cocks to be caught together, meshing as one. "I meant holding me while I tell my story, Michael."

"I know..." Michael tempted Brian with his mouth hovering over every feature. He began straddling Brian's hips, throwing his left leg over Brian's prone form. "I'm ready... and I'm listening..." He kissed Brian softly, letting his lips trace a line on the right side of Brian's face to head over his hair and ear, to end up at the end tip of the scar.

"May I say something before I begin?"

Michael hadn't expected such a polite request from Brian, he had to lift his head and look into Brian's eyes. "Sure. It's your story to tell. You can preface with anything your heart des-..."

"I love you."

It wasn't like Michael didn't have some idea before, in the way Brian touched him, held him, spoke to him, laughed with him... brushed fingers through his hair, caressed his back. Even the way Brian treated Jenny Rebecca. Michael had always known, but hearing it across those delectable lips to his ears made him choke on tears. "... oh, Brian..."

Brian cupped Michael's face in his palms. "I wouldn't be able to say any of what I'm about to tell you, out loud, if I didn't know you feel the same..."

Michael bowed his head in shame onto Brian's upper chest. "... I'm sorry..."

"No, don't be. I'm glad I said it first, because I know I can wait. And when you do say the words, I'll know it wasn't just something you said. That you felt it in your body. The emotion pierced your heart to the point where you had to speak."

"You're right. I do feel that way about you... so much... but I can't..."

"What makes you think I don't understand why you can't say them? For years, not only did I NOT feel it, ever... but saying the words had become near suicide. Already knowing your past with David, what Ben put you through for two years... and learning to know you and adoring everything about you... I know it's not something you just spit out to appease men."

Michael shifted his frame to mesh foreheads with Brian. "You can trust me. You're enough for me, Brian. I'm not, nor will I ever again, stra-..."

"Don't... don't force yourself to say it, unless you mean it."

"Brian... I won't leave you." Michael couldn't stop the twins tears from falling, loving the manner Brian swiped them away as if they hadn't fallen. Emotions like these were never wasted on Brian.

Brian placed a lone finger over Michael's lips. "Hush. I've got a story to tell you."

TBC...


	3. NOVEMBER

**November**

When Michael's world came crashing down on him it was completely unexpected.

David seemed happier, the closer the election came. All his hard work paying off for Senator Richards, who he kept adoringly calling "Sean". Michael could only roll his eyes, teasing his husband about his politician "boyfriend".

Ben was even pleased about the changes in their own relationship. David was gone more often, for long periods of time, leaving Michael free to spend his time any way he saw fit. He liked spending it more with Brian, but even Brian knew Michael should give Ben a decent shot before kicking him to the curb. Michael would have been offended, thinking Brian wanted nothing more to do with him, but it actually made sense. Ben and he created this bond before Brian arrived, it was deserved to see if it could actually work out.

Michael would have shared in the good feelings the men in his life were having if he didn't feel like something was wrong with the entire picture. It was all too perfect.

Even Brian and Michael were becoming closer. But it was the only aspect of Michael's life that didn't scare him, seemed forced or looked trite. He knew there was absolutely nothing that could tarnish what they were building together. Michael made sure of it.

Brian told Michael to hang out with Ben more, so he did. He found out about Ben's friends and the kind of life he had outside of school and attempting to make time with Michael. Ben appreciated Michael's sacrifice and often tried to include Michael in some of the activities he was involved in. Time he and Michael would normally have spent having dinner or relaxing in his apartment was given to the physical portion of Ben's every day life. Not only more time at the gym, but playing other sports, as well.

Michael had to admit the challenge to get to know everyone better caused him to doubt if he could fit into Ben's life, should he ever leave David. Maybe he was trying too hard. Maybe he disrupted too many of their activities, when Michael knew his sports abilities were next to nil. But often he'd been told it was better to be playing IN the game then to be watching from the sidelines, twiddling your thumbs.

So... it ended with a friendly game of basketball. "Friendly" a lose term used only because Ben and his "friends" were participating, letting Michael step in for one of their injured players. Ben swore they played fair and square, but Michael knew that might change with the addition of him as one of their teammates. He thought Ben took him on his team, almost, out of pity. Ben's fellow mates weren't too pleased.

In the midst of all the six-foot tall walls of abs and muscles, Michael was like a floundering newborn foal. His clothes looked two sizes too small, his shoes dreadfully new, squeaky hi-tops and he actually wore REAL regulation basketball wear. Everyone else was simply dressed in t-shirts and regular shorts. He could hear the mumbles of some taunts from the other side of the court, but every so often he could see even his own team cracking jokes under their breathes with the person they were trying to guard.

THAT should have been Michael's first clue he didn't belong, quit before he got hurt... and not just emotionally.

Next came the opponent team's tactics to tearing Michael down, physically. Once he got the hang of the game, pretty quickly, Michael was best on defense. He was small enough to block the huge men from trying to take those fancy three-point jump shots. So they began to devise ways to knock Michael off-kilter. Elbow to the bicep, finger poked in his side, pulling down his polyester shorts and even simple tripping moves. He thought he might have heard Ben snicker once or twice, but he couldn't swear on it. He was too frustrated because for every obvious foul done on him, he'd only been called to the foul line three times for a shot to jump ahead two points each. By then, Michael didn't care what happened, he was running on pure adrenaline.

Ben was a great coach, a good motivator to his team. But to Michael he was... like a father brow-beating his son to do better, even though he was doing HIS best. At one point, Ben had whistled for Michael to look at him and a six-foot giant's elbow connected with Michael's lower left eye. Legs tangled with his, big feet tripped little and Michael went down, HARD, on the flooring. So hard his head actually bounced on the surface.

A few guys looked squeamish at the sound of skull hitting hardwood.  
 ** _  
"Christ! What a loser..."_**

 **_"... never should have been here in the first place..."_ **

**_"... don't belong with us..."_ **

**_"... just in the way..."_ **

Michael was in sharp tune with every sound, every word as he tried to sit up, feeling a bit dizzy. No one came to his side, not even Ben. He could feel his cheek and lower left eye swelling, pounding in his head.

The other team called a mini-break/time-out.

When Ben finally came over, he had his hands on his hips. "I told you to cover your man, Michael!"

Michael took off his basketball tank-t, leaving his t-shirt on underneath. He held the shirt over his eye, in hopes that putting pressure on the cheek would slow down swelling. "What the fuck did you think I was doing?! I didn't know they had someone covering ME!" He bent his legs to draw them to his chest.

"They can do that. It's in the rules. You have to pay attention to everybody around you... or you get blindsided."

"Well... then stop fuckin' whistling! Just scream what you need to say AT me!" Michael tried to breath regularly as he cooled down. "I don't think your friends play this game very fairly. I've never watched a basketball game in my life, but I know this isn't a way to play with sportsmanship."

"What's wrong now?" Ben had to listen to enough complaints from Michael about the way he and his friends played their sports. He was getting tired of this exchange between them, because it was almost like nagging or worse... whining.

"So... you think I deserved to get elbowed in the eye? Not to mention head-butted, knee-punched and pinched or poked?"

"What do you mean?" Ben made it seem like none of that went on.

Michael shook his head in sadness. "Are you gonna help me up? Or tower over me spewing jock venom?" He held up his hand in offering.

Ben took Michael's hand, reluctantly. He couldn't help muttering the one thing that had been irking him since Michael had taken his fall. "You might have cost us the game, Michael. Now, they're ten points ahead." He threw his hand up to gesture to the scoreboard.

Michael managed to keep his hand over his left eye. "Then won't you be tickled to know I'm quitting." He swiveled, arms down by his side, as he walked toward his water bottle and bag on the bench.

Ben trailed behind him, throwing up his hands in exasperation. "You can't quit! You still have the last 15 minutes to play."

Michael waited until Ben was close enough so he could turn and face him, show him exactly what his face must look like. "In about five minutes I won't be able to see out of one eye. I'm already playing shitty... or your so-called friends have been speaking about me under their breath. You might as well bench me, put someone in my place."

Ben hadn't expected to see Michael's eye looking that bad. Shit! It was already too late for him to backtrack and be sympathetic to Michael's injury. "There's no one else to put in."

Michael threw his shirt in the bag, putting the strap across his shoulder. "You play one man short or you put yourself in the game. Either way, I don't give a shit. I'm done. I'm going home."

"Michael... c'mere... let me look at your eye..."

Michael swung out of Ben's way as he picked up his water bottle and moved further away. "Don't! Don't fuckin' touch me, asshole!"  
 ** _  
"You runnin' home to your Mommie, Novotny?!"_** The Captain on the other team called out from across the court.

Ben waved his friend away. "Don't pay attention to him. Sit down, Michael, you look like you're about to fall over. I thought you were joking. I can see your eye and cheek getting puffy from here."

Michael furrowed his brow, which hurt like a bitch. "Why would I lie about being punched?"  
 _ **  
"C'mon, Bruckner! Let's finish this!"**_

 **_"Yeah! Let your girlfriend go home and cry! Let the REAL MEN continue the game!"_ **

Michael waited for Ben to say something quickly, when he didn't he turned and beat a hasty retreat. "This... is fuckin' bullshit!"

Ben waited too long to respond. "Shut the fuck up, guys!" He raced after Michael. Once he reached the swinging double doors, he grabbed for Michael's biceps. "Wait!"

Michael swallowed the lump in his throat. "I guess elbowing one another in the eye and chest is just one of those REAL MEN things I don't understand. Sorry, Ben..." He yanked his arm out of Ben's grip. "... sorry to be such a fuckin' weak embarrassment to you."

"Michael, don't..." Ben sighed heavily, wiping at his forehead.

"Don't what? You didn't even bother to defend me, much less give a shit enough to care that this is more then about my eye."

"You're right. So maybe you'll understand me when I say this to you..." Ben crossed his forearms over his chest. "... you walk away now... I don't know if I can do this any longer."

Michael was struck speechless, mouth open. "Well... excuse the fuck out of me, Professor Pious and Mighty. I wouldn't dare ask you to be continually tainted by my stench of infidelity."

Ben placed his left palm flat again the door, above Michael's head. "You want more then I can give, right now. It almost feels like 'work' to even spend one day with you."

"And that..." Michael gave a painfully sad smile to Ben, blinking slowly. "... ladies and gents, is my official cue to exit.. stage right." He pushed the door open with his backside, walking on down the hallway, past the locker rooms and outside toward his car. He didn't even hear Ben call him back. All he did hear was the squeaks of rubber soles on hardwood floors.

They went on with their "friendly" game of basketball without him.

Michael threw everything into his backseat, slamming the door. As he sat behind the steering wheel, he wondered what was in store next for him. THAT was definitely out of nowhere. He and Ben were really over. Wow!

He hoped he had his 20/20 vision long enough to make it to his next destination, because now... Michael was so pissed and upset tears were blurring his eyesight.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian didn't know what to expect when Michael called to say he was coming over. He kept saying he looked worse then he actually felt. Oh... and that, officially, he and Ben were no more. Brian had no idea what the first comment meant, but the second one spurned him into action once he was off the phone.

Brian changed his outfit TWICE, in the 15 minutes it took for Michael to arrive at his front door. Unsure what this moment really meant for he and Michael, he wasn't taking any chance of not being prepared to make the right move at the right time. IF... Michael was ready.

Things had been progressing rather smoothly between them. He'd given Michael enough breathing space to work out his affections for both of the other men in his life. But more often then not, Michael kept gravitating close to his side. Even when they bumped into each other on Liberty Avenue, through Woody's or Babylon, Michael would slowly draw near and stick by his side.

Granted, Michael knew he couldn't go back to Brian's loft every single night, he gave Brian the space HE needed to have the sex he craved. But little did Michael know that Brian wasn't as interested as usual. He'd canceled many nights of random sex for time spent alone in his loft, on the couch with Michael. Sometimes doing nothing, but hanging out. Other times watching movies they hadn't seen or not seen since a month of forevers. And many times just laying on the cushions, relaxing in one another's company and talking. Neither man realized they had so much to say and share with another man, or that anyone would be interested to learn about their history apart.

Both men didn't want to mess with what they had together. Michael was learning he could actually bond with someone his own age, not only be attracted, but feel attractive to another man. Brian was finding he could enjoy the presence of one man for hours on end and not grow bored. Michael loved being able to laugh again, Brian had never laughed so much in all his life.

Brian was bare foot, in low-riding jeans and a sleeveless, button-down light green plaid shirt at the 3-2. Three buttons undone at the top, two buttons undone at the hem of the shirt. Enough skin exposed to entice a man to touch or taste him. He bolted into the bathroom to check his appearance in the mirror, make sure he looked as edible as he felt. Christ! His hands were shaking. He stared down at them on the marbled tile of his sink's counter.

How rare was this? Brian Kinney actually nervous about a man, about being near him, feeling his heat, smelling his scent. He cleared his throat and shook his mind out of this foolish trance. He ran the hot water and doused his finger tips with liquid. He wanted to sculpt his hair in a wet look that would dry soft, making the few wisps of hair caress his scar. He loved the way Michael was attached to the healing mark. Those gentle fingers would graze the redness as they sat huddled on the cushions. Often the motion causing Brian to close his lids, falling into a peaceful sleep.

The buzzer sounded on the hall call box, alerting him that someone was calling downstairs at the front of the building, wanting entrance. The box looked like a phone, but it was simply a means to communicate to the speaker system outside.

Brian picked up the extension. "About time you showed!" He quickly teased, hoping he didn't sound too frantic. Like he'd been waiting all day... or worse... a week or more.

"Huh?"

FUCK! That voice wasn't Michael's!!

Brian furrowed his brow in shock. "Who's this?"

"Who are you?"

"I asked first."

"Some guy asked me to call you."

"SOME guy?! He's not next to you, is he?!" What the fuck was wrong? "Is his name 'Michael'? Is there a problem?"

A hand was placed over the mouth piece, poorly. The strange voice asking a question. "Hey, kid... your name 'Michael'...?" There was a pause, then the sound of the phone extension being moved over some clothing. "He says he might need you to come down and get him... uh... please..."

"Shit! What-?" Brian was trying to roll over in his mind what could be preventing Michael from coming in, then he thought back to the statement he uttered on the phone earlier. "I look much worse then I feel, Brian. But I'm okay."

"Buddy... your friend... he looks like someone beat the shit outta him... badly..."

Brian swallowed the lump in his throat, rubbing a hand over his nape. His scar started to throb and pulsate. "There's a $100 in this, if you stay with him until I get downstairs."

"Oh? You upstairs in this building?"

Brian felt like laughing at the question, but it was obvious the man was simply helping Michael out of a jam. "Yeah. I'm hanging up now and coming down. Tell Michael I'm on my way." He hung up, ran into his bedroom to slip some shoes on and tugged down a light sweater over his shirt. He zipped, picking his keys up and pulling a nice crisp hundred out of his billfold. He locked his door, racing down the hall, bypassing the elevator that would probably never show since he was in a hurry. He took the fire exit staircase, making it downstairs into the lobby in under two minutes.

The security guard waved and let Brian out the first, then the second door. He made it outside. To the left of the front of his building was some professional landscaping decorating the brick siding with a low-stone wall. Michael was leaning on some chubby construction worker, who had found this place to eat his lunch, away from the work site. "Holy Shit!" As he rounded the odd pair of men, he saw what Michael looked like. Brian held out the folded bill. "Thanks for stickin' around. I'll take care of him from here." He stepped close, hand on Michael's shoulder.

Michael traded bodies to lean on, using Brian's right hip as his pillow. His arm quickly surrounding Brian's waist. All he wanted to do now was close his eyes and sleep. He knew that would be a bad idea with a possible concussion.

"You, uh... need some help gettin' him inside? Up to your place?" The man chucked a thumb over his shoulder.

Brian's hand found it's way buried in Michael's hair, massaging the scalp. He could feel the lump, heard Michael wince in pain. He dropped his hand to smooth over Michael's neck and shoulder blades. "Sorry... I didn't bring my wallet."

The man waved the notion away. "Freebie. He looks like a good kid. Shame 'bout his jackass of a boyfriend. I should know... three ex-wives. If you ever need anyone to break some kneecaps..." He pointed toward the building in the mid-stages of creation. "... you know where to find me."

"Thanks again." Brian wanted to be alone with Michael, not wanting to be rude.

"Take care there, Mike." The man clamped a beefy hand on Michael's shoulder, giving it a shake and squeeze.

Michael patted his hand over the skin, mumbling out a reply. "Bye, Ray. Thanks for everything."

The man picked up his lunch pail, put his yellow construction hat back on and wandered away across the parking lot.

Brian sunk down to Michael's level, on his knees on the concrete sidewalk. He kept his body turned a little to Michael's left, letting Michael use him to lean on. "What the fuck happened, Michael?" He reached out to lightly brush over Michael's cheek and eye.

"A friendly game of basketball. Ben and his asshole friends." Michael bowed his head, shaking it in frustration. "I'm such a weak-kneed pussy."

"What?!"

"I fucked it up. I never should have started trying to be with Ben in this aspect of his life in the first place. I knew better to leave well enough alone. Stay away where I don't belong."

Brian didn't like what he was hearing, this low self-esteem drivel pouring out of Michael. "Can you see out of the eye?"

"Barely." Michael rubbed under his nose and averted his head. He brought a hand up to put pressure on the throbbing sensation. "The crying didn't help. Gave myself a bit of headache. Plus, I'm starting to feel dizzy and faint." He reached out to grab onto Brian's shoulders, cupping the joints. "I bumped my head pretty hard on the court floor."

"Jesus, I'm shocked they didn't tear your limbs off and start eating your dead carcass. Neanderthals, that they are. Did Ben even offer to take you to the ER?"

"No. He broke up with me as I quit and walked out of his game. Silly, really. He ran after me to tell me... he was done. I was too much 'work' to be with anymore." Michael shook his head at how sad and pathetic the rejection sounded to his own ears. "I just need a few hours out of my life to lick my wounds. I would've gone home, but the idea of being alone... like this..." He held his arms out for Brian to look at how awful he appeared.

Brian gestured with his head to walk off. "C'mon... I've got the perfect remedies you'll need for what ails you."

Michael stopped Brian from standing, with a gentle hand on his neck. "I'm sorry if this isn't how you pictured spending your day."

Brian smiled, tilting his head 'just so' to directly look into Michael's soulful eyes. "Kidding me? Why the other day, I asked myself... **_'How long has it been since you've seen your good buddy Mikey?'_**... and I said, **_'Self, way too long if you have to ask'_**..."

Michael giggled, scratching at his cheek. "I was under the impression I was getting to know Ben better. Doing that whole 'male-bonding' thing with his friends. Never has it been more clear to me that he and I are no longer compatible."

Brian leaned forward to grab Michael's small waist. "Hell... if all it took was a good smack down to shake some sense into your head... I could have arranged a fairer, less painful beating for you."

Michael slid both hands around Brian's neck, the urge to smile widely unstoppable. "Oh, yeah?"

Brian cuddled Michael to his chest without making it look as if they were hugging at all, in public. He always kept a certain decorum reserved for when they were alone. "Yup. Something involving wet, oiled, scantily clad, SHORT male models in thongs with pillows of all shapes and sizes as their only mode of weapon." He clutched Michael's head, kissing Michael's brow in affection. He stood off his knees, holding his hand down to Michael. "Shall we?"

"We shall." Michael stood, quickly planting a sound kiss to the side of Brian's mouth, barely skimming the lips. "Ow!" He pressed a palm to the back of his head.

"What was that for?" Even though his lips weren't kissed, they still managed to tingle. Brian reached out to steady Michael on his feet.

"Because... you're always YOU with me, unlike anyone else I've known. I'm beyond happy to know you." Michael lowered his head as he said the words.

"Christ! Don't... don't cry again until I can get you inside." Brian clasped the left side of Michael's face. "I'm more then happy to know you, Michael. That you feel safe with me." He let a smirk slip out. "Now... I have an excuse to keep you at my side for awhile."

Michael lifted his head, brown eyes staring wide-eyed and innocent. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Sean will be off my back for two whole weeks for these last few days before the election, which means... I bet David's not home, either." Brian brought up his other hand to cup the other side of Michael's head, his thumb brushing the slight bruise forming on the pale flesh. What he wouldn't give for five minutes alone with Bruckner. "I can have you all to myself..." He could see the stunned look spreading over Michael's features. He suddenly realized he may have overstepped a boundary. "I mean... if you want..." He was about to back up...

"I can't stay with you, Brian." ... but Michael wouldn't allow Brian to let him go. "I don't have any clothes to wear."

Brian could sense that Michael was finally understanding what he meant. "Perfect. You won't need clothes."

"Excuse me?!?" Michael rushed out on a snicker.

"Settle down." Brian removed his hands, placing his arm around Michael's shoulders. "It doesn't mean what you think."

"What do I think?"

"That... I want you naked, completely... and writhing around on my bed sheets... while I hover over you, naked, as well... licking... and caressing..." Brian huffed out a breath as he felt the soft punch to his belly.

"Yeah... close." Michael rolled his eyes. Damn, it was like Brian was psychic, but he'd forgotten the crushed velvet cover and silk sheets.

Brian stopped them near the front door of the building. "Why... what WERE you thinking?"

"I won't say... until you tell me what you REALLY thought... I thought."

"Wow!" Brian shook his head, slapping the side of his left temple. "... that was confusing enough to try and comprehend. I feel like I've just been bumped in the head, too."

"Take me home."

Brian turned to face Michael, staring down at him. That word gave him an awkward, excited feeling in his stomach. "Michael..."

"Shit! Look... I know where I am, Brian. I know what I said. What I meant is... take me wherever you'll be, because being with you makes anywhere feel like home."

"... oh..." Brian wasn't planning on reprimanding Michael for what he said, he simply wanted to make things clear before they got upstairs. But actually being able to hear Michael's true feeling... well, he decided to shut up, save the chatter for later.

"See... easier on my brain and tongue to say... 'take me home'..."

"I like the other one better."

"Me, too."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian stood outside his own bathroom, waiting and listening. Michael was taking a hot shower, groaning as jets of pressurized water pelted his bruised, battered and aching body. Brian had teased with the offer of washing Michael's back, but Michael flatly refused with a slow shake of his head and a sweet smile. Brian felt his heart clench, his breath catch and his dick harden.

What was preventing him from following Michael into the shower? Any other man he'd be bare naked and stepping up behind the... well, behind. So why... oh, yeah... fear of losing Michael's respect and fucking with a good thing.

Michael wandered out of the bathroom, towel on his wet head and a large one about his tiny waist. He didn't see Brian in the bedroom doorway as he attempted to dry his hair and walk down the hallway.

Brian snagged his flexing biceps.

"Whoa!" Michael felt himself being bodily dragged backward, almost losing his footing on the hardwood floors.  
"Get in here!" Brian steered Michael into the bedroom, sitting him down on the low mattress.

"Brian... what are you...?!"

"This loft used to be Sean's, now it's Eric's." Brian slapped his palms together, gathering thoughts to quickly explain. "But Eric wanted to live in the dormitory, get the full college experience. The family still pays rent on this place... hence why they put me up here, to live."

"And you're telling me this... why?"

"To explain why..." Brian walked over to the second walk-in closet door along the wall. "... I have a full closet of another man's clothes."

Michael chuckled, wrapping the smaller towel around his neck. "Like I'd be curious." He lifted one eyebrow in curiosity. "That's why you said it wouldn't matter if I packed or not."

"You, my friend... are too smart for me." Brian started backing out of the room. "Look everything over. The plastic drawer carts have all the socks and underwear enclosed. You'll be able to find the shoes pretty easily..." He was grabbing the doorknob as he stepped out.

"Brian!" Michael stood up from the bed, turning.

"What?"

"You don't have to leave."

"Yes." Brian's eyes caught Michael's hands tucking inside the folds of the towel around his waist. "Yes, I do." He knew what lay beneath and could almost bet Michael had touched himself in the shower, making his cock semi-erect. Why not, that's what he wanted to do. "... and I'm closing the door and walking to the kitchen." Away from you... he gulped down the fear in his throat.

Michael removed his hands, placing one fist inside a cupped hand. "You don't have to be scared of me." He could see Brian through the crack in the open door. "I won't attack you." How could he ask Brian to stay, unselfish about his naked body? Why was Brian running away?

"I know YOU won't, it's myself I'm worried about."

"Why? I trust you." Michael crossed his arms loosely over his naked torso, cupping his elbows.

Brian opened the paneling slightly wider, leaning on the doorjamb. "You're at a vulnerable state right now over Ben. Not only physically, but emotionally. You've been numb to your husband for years. Ever since we met, you and I have had this... odd connection..." His hands moved back-n-forth between them.

"A bond..." Michael used another good example of what lay between them, his feet carrying him a little closer.

"Yeah. Like we've been here before, but in a different fashion."

"And somehow one or both of us screwed it up." Michael nodded his head in agreement. He couldn't help dismissing those feelings of late.

"Stop!" Brian help out one hand. "I hate when you do that." He didn't sound pissed, he actually smiled softly.

"What?" Michael lifted one side of his mouth in humor. 

"Say exactly the next thought I'm thinking."

Michael could almost reach out and grab the doorknob, but he didn't. "I've been over Ben for weeks, Brian."

"Don't." Brian closed his eyes, swallowing nervously.

"What? Don't feel strongly for you?"

"Not until you know for sure."

"For sure?"

"Where you want you're heart to belong."

Michael took the metal knob in hand, but he didn't approach Brian. He looked too spooked, as if he would bolt any second if Michael even looked at him with lust in his eyes. "I fell out of love with Ben, because he couldn't get over his sexual hang-ups about sleeping with me. I had loved him enough to take the risk, but he... well, I don't know what happened with his feelings for me. My husband hasn't loved me since he proposed four years ago. And... I'm not sure I love my husband quite the same as I used to because of what he's done to the sanctity of what I thought would be our future together. I'm tired of being the only one who seems to give my heart, when no one wants it..."

"And I don't want to be just another man in your bed."

"You won't."

"But you'll never leave, David. You've said so yourself."

"I've never been given a good reason TO leave." Michael shrugged one shoulder. "And, really... who says that I'll NEVER leave him?"

"You weren't leaving him for Ben."

"Exactly. For Ben. You're different."

"Am I? How?" Brian leaned on the other side of the doorjamb. "Technically... you and I haven't even kissed. You hated Ben because he wouldn't fuck you... and I haven't even kissed you... yet you..."

"I can change that..." Michael was about to open the door wider, when Brian quickly grabbed for the outside knob.

They had a tug of war for the door handles. They were chuckling and laughing, slamming and opening the paneling... knowing their desires for one another lay untouched between their out of breath bodies.

Michael was the one who finally gave in, resting on the door at a near pant. He could hear Brian's bare feet stomp away. But what was even more curious was that the one wall of the bedroom, facing the living room area, caught open sunlight from the windows fairly well. The sliding doors were covered in frosted glass. Because of the intense light, Michael could see Brian's tall, willowy shape wander about in frustration. How he attempted to control his breathing, how he kept running fingers through his already mussed hair and how he swore up a firestorm trying to push down every lustful feeling in his body.

Michael felt his heart lurch, his stomach clench... not in fear, in hope. This made it certain that Brian was suffering the same as he was, wanting and needing him possibly just as badly as he wanted and needed Brian. It awed him that Brian could control himself around other men, but suddenly lose that subtlety with him.

As he looked over the sliding doors, a thought came to his mind. Could what he was seeing now, happen on the flip side? At some point, during the day or night, if the lights were staged perfect in the bedroom... the rest of the loft dark or in shadows... could you see the form of the person in the bedroom? Christ! What a sexy thought. Something to certainly "test out" later on. Maybe.

Michael took off the towel, strolling naked into the closet. He knew immediately what he'd do, how he'd dress. His normal clothes never looked as good or "in style" as these did. The outfits would look better on a 24yr old, not a 34yr old. But Michael had always been told that he had the body shape of a young teenage male. Maybe the wardrobe of a young 20-something man would even him out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian had taken his sweater off, having his back turned and seated on one of the bar stools at the breakfast counter. He was expecting to find Michael coming out of the bedroom via the hallway. Instead, Michael quietly slid the right panel open, able to squeeze out of the tiny space and tip-toe his way over toward Brian.

Brian was completely immersed in whatever was on his laptop monitor. He never knew Michael was there, until he felt the warmth at his back and the arms surrounding his sides and sliding around to lock at his abdomen.

Michael pushed against his left shoulder blade. "Don't move until I tell you."

"Why?" Brian let one hand cover Michael's on his belly.

"I've got something for you."

"Already? Michael... you were in the bedroom for 10minutes. Did you find a Time Portal?"

"No, but there's a questionable tiny cubby space in Eric's closet with a sign that says..." Michael stretched out his left hand as if to demonstrate a billboard road sign. "... **_'This way to China'_**..."

Brian found himself chuckling deeply, willing to do anything Michael wanted of him. "I'll be damned."

"Sit still." Michael patted Brian's backside. "What I have for you is in my gym bag, Mr. Gullible."

"You've got the most honest face I've ever known and the sweetest eyes. You could make me believe whatever came out of your mouth."

"Seriously?" Michael had walked away, moving toward where Brian had placed his gym bag. He unzipped the material, digging around inside.

"I doubt I'd ever truly know if you were lying to me or not."

"Oh, you could." Michael had what he wanted, walking it over to Brian's side. "But really... I promise not to lie to you often."

"Ah, see!" Brian held up his right index finger in the air. "THAT could be your lie... right there."

Michael walked over, making his chest conform around Brian's back. This was a normal action for him to take. Usually, Brian would be seated at the table, where Michael could massage his shoulders and slide his hands down the muscled biceps. Brian was up too high to do any of that at the moment, so Michael simply placed his cheek on Brian's shoulder. He passed Brian a hardback book from behind, laying it on his laptop keyboard.

"What's this?" Brian stared down at the arm, more then the book. How the pale skin stayed wrapped around him.

"A book?" Michael giggled, humming his words over Brian's shirt.

"Thanks for making that crystal clear." Brian brought over the book to stare at the cover art.

"I'm sorry." Michael turned his face, his lips meeting the scar and kissing the flesh with a tenderness he always had for Brian. "I should be more specific." He tapped the book. "It's... MY book." He waited for the news to settle in Brian's head what he was actually holding.

"YOUR book!?" Brian sounded confused, but elated. "But... I thought..."

"See... they do this thing to entice me into their literary web. They made one book for me, showing how it would look as a total package... marketing and so forth."

Brian nodded his head, rubbing his chin in contemplation. "I AM impressed. It looks real."

"Jerk!" Michael pushed Brian with his shoulder. "IT IS REAL!! There's even words on the inside... that form sentences... that form paragraphs... that form chapters... that tell a story..." He was speaking all these into Brian's right ear, his breath warm on his neck, down his back.

"YOUR story." Brian caressed the cover, wondering if he could feel the blood, life and hard work Michael had put into creating this book. Maybe it helped that the man who wrote it was standing behind him, embracing him in his arms. He felt a bit overwhelmed with emotions to actually speak.

"Flip it over." Michael swallowed with some difficulty, only because he could see some kind of emotions playing over Brian's face that left him unable to say something he held inside.

Brian flipped the book to show the back cover art, only to find a picture. "Ah-hahaha! Fuckin' brilliant!" Michael must have given them an old driver's license picture. "Your readers will be bowled over to see what you actually look like in person."

Michael leaned his cheek on the side of Brian's hair, rubbing his face over the soft strands. He brought his arms up to cross over Brian's upper chest. "They kept pestering me about getting some professional photos taken. DMV is professional enough, don't you think?"

Brian slowly nodded his head. "One day you'll feel content with letting people know the real you. I know I can't get enough of him." He bent his head to kiss the inside of Michael's wrist. He set the book down on the counter, finally swiveling around to get a good look at Michael in different clothing. He knew he'd feel something, but what he didn't know was how younger and sexier Michael would appear in current clothes of the 20-something crowd. He dreamed of dressing Michael in other things, getting to see how tight and muscular his body was. If anything, he wanted to show Michael off, make him realize how attractive he still was... but be able to take him back to bed and have him for his very own. No one else could touch.

Michael stood barefoot, like him, black jeans, faded on the front and back of the legs. They were so tight, they looked painted on. He wore a navy blue wool, military style button-down shirt that shaped his torso and along his biceps. They were three-quarter length sleeves, but Michael had rolled them higher to just above the elbow. The dark colors were contrasting against Michael's pale skin and made his hair shine blue-black.

Never had Brian wanted any man more. Never had he wanted Michael more then this very second. He gulped down the lump in his throat. He spread open his thighs, tugging Michael between them. "C'mere..." He HAD to touch him, somehow, or die. So he encircled his arms around Michael's entire body. "I'm so fuckin' proud of you." He buried his face in Michael's neck, feeling the body sigh at his words. He let Michael slide down his body, keeping his hands shaping his back, then around his shoulders.

They were now simply going to tend to the black eye.

Michael did, latching onto Brian's bend of upper thighs and hips. "That poultice you made is really working. I can almost feel the swelling going down." Something else on his body was swelling even more. "How does the bruise look?"

Brian pat the puffy flesh with his thumb pad, feeling Michael's lashes flutter on his finger. "A little faded, but still pretty bad." He reached behind him to bring over the bag he made, looked like a rectangular pot holder. "This is only an ice pack, nothing fancy. I'm gonna wash off your face, then in 20 minutes we'll put on another slathering of the Goop."

"How do you know all this? You get punched a lot?"

Brian slid down off the stool, taking Michael's right hand in his and walking them over to the kitchen sink. He watched Michael hop up on the counter, while he wet a thick cloth and scrubbed some hand soap on the fabric. "When I was younger..." He made a delicate circular motion over Michael's skin to wipe off the ointment. "... Jack, my father, would smack me around, but for the most part I got into the usual fights in school. Spent two years in a military academy to clean my act up. Once I was 18, I was off to college to party my ass off. I got into heavier drinking and drugs, inebriated brawls and stupid punches thrown when I didn't get my way."

"If you don't mind me asking, what made you change?"

Brian smirked with one lift to his eyebrow. "Have I really changed all that much?"

Michael shrugged, his brown eyes searching Brian's handsome face. "I don't know. You say these words, describing yourself... and I don't 'see' you being that way at all."

Brian gave out a small grin. "Eric tells me I've mellowed more in the last few years. Sean... not so much. He's not been around me long enough to really get to know me these days. He still thinks of me as the huge family disappointment from way back."

"That's a shame." Michael reached out to gently caress Brian's cheek, then dropped his hand. "I've always believed family to be important. Though I can barely tolerate my own mother, but my uncle, Vic... he, uh..." He dipped his head a little. "... he's my world, as is Jenny.

Brian stared into Michael's face, wishing he could be part of the circle of love in Michael's world. "What about your father?" He used another cloth to dry Michael's cheek and eye.

Michael flinched away. "My biological father bailed on me when I was a month old."

Brian let his hand remain raised, then brought it over to cup the side of Michael's face. "Who married your Mom, then?"

"The best friend of David's father."

"And that's how David walked into your life?"

Michael's eyes darted over Brian's features. "I never thought I'd love anyone more."

Brian moved back to show Michael he was done. He picked up the ice pack and tossed it into Michael's hands. "What happened?" He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer for himself, but something fizzy for Michael. He started buying those tiny bottles of Canada Dry ginger ale lately since Michael walked into his life. He paced around the island to head in the direction of the living room.

Michael followed, holding the ice pack to his face. The fabric the holder was made out of felt like suede, soft against his skin. "I learned how unlovable I really was."

Brian huffed out a snicker, plopping down on the left corner of the large couch in the center of the floor. "I doubt that."

Michael jumped on the cushions, tucking his legs underneath him as he sat dead center in the couch, facing Brian. "You do?" He bent one knee to rest his arm on, foot planted on the cushion.

Brian shook his head, relaxing with his head back. "It's not true."

"How do you know?"

"I just do." Brian let out a mischievous grin.

Michael dropped the ice pack. "Kiss me."

Brian sat stunned, not expecting that quick change of topic to their conversation. He made Michael put his hand back up with the ice pack. "We need to take care of your..." He kept his hand on Michael's tiny wrist, his thumb playing over the delicate skin.

Michael put the ice pack on the couch, taking Brian's hand in both of his. "I need you... to kiss me..." He spoke as clearly as he could, without sounding rattled.

"Why?"

"I am feeling vulnerable right now, but I need you so much I'm aching." Michael brought the hand to his chest. "More then I've ever needed anyone. And it hurts worse then my eye."

"I'm not..." Brian huddled in the corner of the couch, watching Michael crawl closer.

"I know." Michael settled at Brian's side, deciding not to climb onto his lap.

"It will have to be just a simple kiss." Brian turned his head on the back of the couch to look at Michael.

"That's all I want." Michael brought his hand up to scrape his fist over Brian's cheek and jaw.

"No... no, it isn't." Brian shook his head emphatically.

"Well... it's all I want right now..."

"But... it's not enough for me..." Brian tugged Michael to sit on his thighs.

"I know." Michael leaned his forehead on Brian's hair.

"If I kiss you... clothes are coming off." Brian pet the length of Michael's left outer leg. "I might think about taking you right here, on this couch... or on the floor." He arched his head up, lips a mere inch or two from Michael's. "I don't know that I could make it to the bed without being inside you..." His hand sculpted over Michael's rear, tucking under to caress the inner thighs

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you..." Michael grabbed under Brian's neck, cupping his head. "... even when other men have touched me. You're there when I go to sleep, there when I wake up..." He gently pressed his lips in a slow motion kiss against Brian's temple.

Brian kept his face near Michael's throat and the exposed bare collar of his shirt. "The last time you and I were together, you told me about this new gadget you wanted to buy for your laptop. I was with this really hot guy, who wanted to fuck all night long... and as he was licking me, stroking my cock... he quirked his eyebrow the way you usually do and god help me if I didn't wonder if you'd bought the new toy already or if I could find one for you, 'cause then I'd see if it worked on my laptop."

Michael giggled against Brian's body. "We... are fuckin' de-ranged..." His hands moved down to caress over Brian's back. "Did you end up fucking him?" His finger tips applied heavy scratch motions over his shirt.

"I let him jerk me off, then I promptly went to sleep." Brian nudged his face towards Michael's. "Yes... we are mental as loons."

"Shit! What do we do now?"

"I say... you kiss me and find out."

"But you said, if we kissed, we'd..."

"That was if I kissed YOU." Brian closed his eyes and shivered. "I have no idea what will happen if YOU kissed ME."

Michael rolled his eyes at Brian's way of thinking. "If I didn't like you so much, I think you'd frustrate me to death."

"Remind me never to find out."

"You won't ever be in a position to find out."

"See... kissing isn't so easy a decision to make is it?"

"You're absolutely right." Michael started playing with Brian's shirt collar, his finger roaming around the stitched thread, his fingers skimming the naked skin underneath. "If I kiss you... I won't stop..."

"I wouldn't want you to."

"Then... it's settled..." Michael hugged Brian to his chest, arms secure about his neck. He placed his cheek on top of Brian's hair. "... we can't be alone together."

"Why not?" Brian loved the feel of the rough wool shirt against his flesh, being able to sense Michael's erratic heart beating.

"Ben and I may be over, but I'm still married. It's not fair to you... or David."

"If you had one wish to fill, for one day, what would you want most?"

"Spend all of it..." Michael began combing his fingers through Brian's locks, massaging the scalp. "... with you."

"So... that's what we'll do." Brian slid back to relax against the cushion, his head laying on the couch, Michael cradled in his arms. He picked up the ice pack and held it to Michael's cheek and eye as he reclined in his arms.  
"But WHAT will we do?"

"Teach one another about ourselves."

"Get to know each other better?"

"Exactly. Something we tend to keep hidden from others. It has to be something we can go to, do together and waste time, eating up hours of this day."

"So we can enjoy the moments and one another's company." Michael snuggled deeply into Brian's embrace, wishing they could bring this to the bed. What he would love to do with Brian in a huge bed.

"Why do people make such a big deal over relationships? Seems to be fairly simple to me." Brian knew he shouldn't be one to talk about people who were boyfriend-like or married, but really if the two people involved were compatible on so many other levels but the most important, why couldn't they handle the pressures?

"Brian, believe me, every day tedious stuff is a lot harder. This is fun. Like we're actually on a 'date', pre-relationship."

"We already have an established relationship."

"We do, but I think we can handle a little more."

"We can?"

"Do you not want this to be a 'date'?"

"Will there be guaranteed sex afterwards?" Michael simply stared, Brian smirked sheepishly. "If there's no sex, we're on a date. 'Cause I never date, I only have meaningless sex."

"Then... we won't have meaningless sex." Doesn't mean we couldn't have meaningFUL sex, Michael said to himself.

"Precisely."

"I feel like punching you. I actually understood your logic, for once."

"You know, shockingly, I get that a lot."

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
They had lunch first. But it was out of a hot dog stand, that sold soft pretzels on a street corner near an old childhood haunt of Michael's, Buzzy Comics. He dragged Brian in after they scarfed down foot-long dogs and three New York style soft pretzels **_(_** _they split one in half_ ** _)_**.

Brian almost thought he'd get bored out of his mind, but watching the way Michael's eyes lit up when he spotted certain things he hadn't seen since he was a young boy drove him nutty. He found that he could remain stoic and uncaring, near boredom on the outside, but inside he was melting... like vanilla ice cream on a hot sidewalk in the summer sun. He often sidled up behind Michael, watched him pull out the specific issues and launch into these deep-detailed descriptions of what, where and how his life was affected by each. By the end of an hour and half's time, Brian couldn't fake boredom, he was bored. Michael knew it and smiled sweetly, silently thanking Brian for putting up with his blabber mouth over his passion for comics.

At one point, near the back of the store, Brian wandered up to Michael, chest to back. He contorted his body around Michael's, pretending to reach for random issues in the crates. He actually touched Michael, lifting his jacket, the wool shirt and found a comfy niche for his fingers in and around Michael's jean waistline. The thumb would play over the bare flesh, causing Michael to stutter and blink slowly... almost making a foolish decision to kiss Brian right there... in front of teenage boys and Buzzy.

Michael didn't know it, but Brian was secretly jotting down names and issue numbers in his mind to save for later, when he needed to find the perfect gift to surprise Michael. Next, Michael and Brian climbed into the car and took off into Michael's old childhood neighborhood. He gave him the "car ride" tour of all the places Michael frequented from tween years on up until young adult, before he started dating David and moving up into a higher tax bracket. Michael had been driving, Brian sitting tranquil and watchful in the passenger seat.

Then Brian got on his phone, made reservations in some foreign accent and took over the driving. He showed Michael his old house in a very affluent neighborhood outside of Pittsburgh. Then drove around to find where Sean and Eric's parents were still living. A couple of random buildings his Grandfather Kinney owned that Jack Kinney, Brian's father, never wanted any part of. And soon he gave the nickel and dime tour of the college campus, Brian pointing out the old fraternity house. And lastly the many, many places Brian had either been a part of fights, angry brawls, drunken rages and  
a few random arrests by campus security.

Michael chuckled over the tour of Brian's old way of life, only because Brian enjoyed poking fun at himself. Brian drove back into the city and this time... Brian dragged Michael into an old vaudevillian theater that was now a movie house that showed black and white flicks. Tonight was Marlon Brando and James Dean. Double feature of their best films, according to Brian's tastes. He took Michael's hand, walking up the three flights of stairs to the upper balcony. They found seats in the middle of the area, Brian sat down first, then Michael. Brian tucked Michael under his right arm. Brian had bought them, to share, an extra large buttered popcorn and an extra large drink.

When the lights went down, Brian removed the arm from between them and slid Michael closer. Michael actually cuddled under Brian's protection, laying his head on his right shoulder, then placing his hand on Brian's right thigh. Once the movies began, Michael kept hearing mumbling. He thought there were other people around them chattering. But he turned his eyes to Brian and realized... he was spewing dialogue word for word, first with Brando... then with Jimmy Dean. It made Michael breathless with wonder, only because... Brian looked like him when he got around comics, eyes wide and alight with wonder. Michael reached out to touch Brian's face, fascinated by the way he looked in the flickering hue of the black and white film.

Brian's eyes never moved from the screen. "Sorry. Am I bothering you?"

"No... it's adorable."

Brian groaned, clutching his chest. "No... Brian Kinney NOT adorable. Brian Kinney... sex-on-a-stick sexy. Like Marlon... and James..." He pointed toward his idols images.

Michael couldn't stop giggling and sunk further into Brian's embrace. He was so comfortable he wished they had a pillow and blanket. It wasn't long before Michael closed his eyes to drown himself in Brian's husky voice, listening to him do his James Dean impressions.

Michael nor Brian had ever spent a more exciting and informative night together.

Brian's late night reservations worked out. They sat at a very small table, huddled together at an intimate restaurant that catered to lovers/couples who couldn't have dinner until much, much later. They were in a shadowed corner of a tiny space in the dining room. They talked when they arrived, but as they ordered and waited for their food... the candlelight wore on and they went quiet. They sipped at their drinks and watched all the other people around them who were similarly seated, close together. Some were kissing, some fondling and other were necking out in the open.

Brian had his right forearm on the table, unable to not lean into Michael's warm body. Michael watched Brian's fingers drum on the table surface, the delicate flex of knuckles and veins connected to the wrist bone. At one point, Brian had his hand resting on the pinky side, palm open. Michael took a chance Brian was relaxed enough not to be skitterish. He watched his hand's movements as if it were detached, soothing under Brian's arm, along his wrist to the palm. Michael's fingers slid perfectly between Brian's.

Brian glanced down at their joining. "How are we doing so far?"

"On our 'date'?" Michael loved teasing Brian relentlessly.

"I have nothing in my life to compare it to."

"So... in a way..." Michael bent close to Brian's face. "... I'm your first."

Brian smirked, nodding his head slowly. "Yeah. You could say that."

"I'm honored. And touched."

"Date isn't over."

"Reminder... no meaningless sex..."

"Ah, but you have yet to kiss me."

"Traditionally, on the first date, we go no further the a kiss at the front door. Then one of us leaves, going back home. Baring in mind we have made plans to spend a second night together, for our second date."

"Christ! I have to do this again with you?"

Michael lost himself in chuckling lightly, rubbing his thumb pad over the top of Brian's hand. "You're doing fine, Brian. You may even be my best date... ever."

Brian rested his jaw on his left hand, bent elbow on the table. His eyes glazed adoringly over at Michael. "Not even in comparison to David?"

"I was so young when he and I actually began seeing one another. I'm not even sure I was impressed by the same things. I just wanted him to fuck me."

Brian lifted a lone eyebrow in curiosity. "Did you have any prior experience with other men before him?"

"My step-father was pretty strict. Mom knew I was gay even before I told her. She asked me to keep it from him." Michael couldn't look up at Brian, his past was a little too pathetic.

"But they knew David? They knew he was gay?"

Michael shook his head. "David didn't even know he was gay. Since I met him at 16 he was married to a woman, they'd met in college. In two years, they had a baby boy, Hank. I used to babysit him. I could feel David watching me, because I was attempting to get him to look at me any chance I got. I was infatuated by him. Older man, young twink... perfect kink, huh?"

Brian's hazel eyes glowed with desire. "I'm just getting hard thinking about you, looking like you do now. I don't need any kinky images of you at 18."

Michael nuzzled Brian's ear, leaning his brow on Brian's sideburn. "We never once acted on our feelings, though I did watch David jerk of in the shower once... by accident. I held that image with me for months. Then... I was off to college. I didn't come back home until I graduated or barely graduated. My senior year Vic got sick and it was time for the family to gather and make some hard financial decisions. Vic moved in with us, I got a job working at a local store. Late one night... of just trying to find some time for myself and my friends... I was on Liberty Avenue and I bumped into David."

"Surprised you, huh?"

"I never would have thought he was gay. Just someone who had this fetish, maybe." Michael shrugged, looking into the flame of the candle. "He'd separated from his wife, because she caught him in bed with Hank's new babysitter." He gave a small sad smile. "A 17 year old blonde kid. I was 23 or 24 at the time."

"Did David take your virginity?" Brian couldn't look at Michael while saying that.

"No." Why did Brian appear relieved to hear this?

"You think he ever loved you?"

"Sure. In his own way. But I was David's 'boy toy' since we started going out. Now... he married his 'toy' and this 'toy' is nearing 35..." Michael bit his bottom lip in contemplation of how to say what he had to next.

"Time for David to get a new 'toy'." Brian brought Michael's hand to his face, holding the skin to his cheek.

Michael sighed, scooting his chair closer to Brian. "That's what I'm afraid of one day. He's done it plenty times before. I catch his wandering eye and think... he's got that 'itch' he can't scratch... nor can I, any longer."

"Why did he want to marry you? He'd been dating you for so long... why bother?"

"Political motivation." Michael stated plainly, no emotion in his tone.

"Are you kidding me?" Brian couldn't believe what he heard.

"You tell me, Brian...why do you let Sean use you like a piece of meat?"

"Touche." Brian took a quick sip of his wine.

Michael made a sound under his throat, blinking slowly. "No... I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry. Your life apart from me is none of my business."

"Sean can be very persuasive, makes him a great speaker. Plus... I owe his parents a debt of gratitude I can never repay. Helping their oldest son win his Senator seat to achieve his dream is a small price to pay."

"David never told me our marriage was for political show, but it didn't take me long to figure out. Everything about us... our way of life, what we did together, where we went... it all seemed staged. And Sean was always in the background, in the distance. I agree with you about your cousin, he can be very persuasive. David admires him, idol worships him in a way I've heard David say point blank, 'There's nothing I wouldn't do for your, Sean'... Anything to win this election."

"I hope we lose by a tiny margin." Brian spoke the jinx out loud hoping someone above heard him. "Well... looks like you and I are both caught up in something not so nice."

"There has to be a way to get out."

"And do what? Do you want out, Michael?" Brian's hand squeezed Michael's tighter in his clasp.

"I want you." Michael inched near to Brian's warmth, seeking his mouth.

Brian averted his head. "Michael..."

"I realize this is too soon after Ben, but..."

Brian shook his head, leaning back in his chair. Their hands joined lay on his lap. "No... no... that's not what I was about to say."

"What were you about to say?"

Brian looked directly into Michael's brown gaze, searching for silent answers he could find on his own. "Are you sure I'm what you need? What you deserve?"

"Why? What's wrong with you?"

"Everything. Some people might say I'm no better for you then David or Ben were."

"In my eyes, you look perfect... so beautiful, in this light..." Michael remained right where he was leaning on the table when Brian moved to rest on the table ledge. "... take me home..."

"Michael... we've barely eaten..."

"We'll bag it all and bring it with us. I want to be alone with you."

Brian couldn't refrain from the wide smile on his lips. "I thought the whole point of today was NOT to have that happen."

"I feel like ravishing you right here on this table top, forgetting we're in a semi-crowded place of business. I've changed my mind."

"I find you do that often, even in the middle of making the decision."

"It infuriated David. Ben, too."

"I like it. It's cute. Shows your mind at work. And you blush in the most endearing way, when you talk about sex... it makes me want to..."

"WAITER!! Check, please!!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian walked around, turning off the rest of the lights in the loft.

The hue from the bedroom lamps illuminated the loft to some degree to move around in the darkness. But Brian paused in his quick choice to sleep on the couch, giving his bed up to Michael.

Michael began to undress in the bedroom, his silhouette sculpted on the frosted glass, tempting Brian to venture closer. Every sinewy line of his body, every tight rounded curve of muscle... Brian slid the left panel open, only on a mission for pillow and blanket. He was in the middle of unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, letting the sides hang off his naked torso to show off his bare chest, pert nipples in the once chilled, now warming air of the loft.

Michael had swiveled to show his back to him, sitting down on the bed to take off the black jeans. As he stood to slide the material all the way down, Brian caught sight of Michael's ass in the borrowed undershorts. Tight to his body, the fabric didn't hide much to the view before Brian as he strolled across the floor, nonchalantly. It was as if Michael didn't even know he was in the room. He heard the sniffle and then Michael wiped his wrist under his nose.

Michael sat back down on the mattress, picking his cell phone back up from the nightstand at the bedside.

Something was very wrong with this picture. What the hell had happened?

"Michael... wha-?" Before Brian could even ask his question, Michael looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "Jesus... I only..."

Michael covered his hand over his mouth, swiping under his eyes. "Uhm... can you get your cell phone.... bring it here for me..."

"Yeah... sure... but what...?"

Michael shut his eyes in private misery, but he knew he'd be alone in this for only a short time. "Please... do this for me..."

Brian needed no other words of encouragement. His phone was in the hallway, on the table where he placed his keys and wallet. When he entered the bedroom, Michael was seated up against the headboard, laying back on two plush pillows. He'd drawn the covers over his bare legs. "What do you need me to do?"

"See if Sean contacted you, at all, today."

"Of course..." Brian wandered over to Michael's side of the bed, seating himself on the minimal space given. "... but it's a little too early in the week. The election isn't until next Tuesday."

Michael bowed his head, his voice sounding small and hurt. "This has nothing to do with some stupid election."

Brian scrolled through some screens on his phone. "Yeah. Looks like Sean called me, but why?" He glanced at Michael, who was pushing buttons on his own phone. "You look like you know something I should know. Possibly from Sean's call."

"David left me a voice mail." Michael passed Brian his phone. "Listen before you play Sean's."

Brian held Michael's phone to his ear, listening closely to the voice in the message. Then he turned wide eyes to Michael. No wonder he was crying. "Jesus. Fucking. Christ!" He quickly shuffled phones to listen to Sean's message. He shook his head, jumping off the mattress to pace the room. He rubbed at his forehead. "THAT..." He hung up and closed his phone. "... is the lamest fuckin' bullshit... ever..."

Michael folded his arms over his stomach, feeling his chest ache. "What did Sean have to say?" Why wasn't he angry or pissed off? His husband was leaving him for another man! He'd just been dumped by a voice mail.

Brian leaned against the wall, staring ahead of himself. He still couldn't wrap his head around what just happened... and to a great man like Michael. First Ben... now David and even Sean who had been friendly toward Michael had played him for a fool. "Pretty much the same as David."

"When, uh..." Michael was spinning his wedding ring around his finger, watching how lose it had become. "... when do you think they got together?"

"What are you talking about?" Brian thought he might know, but it could be anything Michael was thinking at this moment. All Brian wanted to do was knock some fuckin' heads together. Shit! Men were idiots!

"Think they knew just now... during this trip... or has it been going on since...?"

"Like when David proposed to you... taking you off his scent." Brian wandered back over to the bed. He placed their phones on the night stand. What a way to end a great evening. He reached under the lamp shade and turned off the light.

"I thought he simply wanted to test run some gay political agenda, but if all he really was doing was hiding his own infidelity..." Michael sunk down in the bed and covered his face with his two hands. "Oh, God... this is so fuckin' humiliating." He pulled the covers over his head. "He gave me what I wanted, but he got what he wanted, also."

Brian knelt on the floor, not sure he should climb into bed with Michael at this point in time. "You wanted marriage?"

Michael dropped the hem of the sheet a little down his face, to peer over at Brian. Why did he always feel so safe in his presence, a certain warmth like a constant fire burning to welcome you home? He reached out from under the blanket to clutch Brian's forearm. "No. Not really. I wanted a committed relationship that I knew would last. With a partner who loved me." He turned his face to bury it in the pillow.

Brian leaned forward, bringing his hand up to pet back Michael's hair, hoping he'd relax and fall asleep. "So why did you marry David?"

Michael blinked once, staring ahead of him, past Brian's face. "He had me convinced there was no one else who could take care of me the way he could. Love me better, then him. Had me fooled..." He brought his eyes back to Brian's hazel gaze. "... for awhile."

"Until Ben?" Brian brushed the back of one hand down Michael's cheek.

"No." Michael shook his head on the pillow. "Ben's a great boyfriend, attentive and adoring. He's a nice fling on the side. I don't know, but I could never picture he and I lasting." He began to push up from his left arm, making Brian have to move back a few inches or butt heads. "I did eventually find out David was more wrong then he knew and I thought."

"Oh, yeah? When?"

"After meeting you." Michael sat upright, tugging Brian to come up and sit on the bed with him. "Getting to know you... spending time with you, like tonight. I had fun."

Brian reached out to caress the light, fading bruise on Michael's cheek. "I did, too. More then I'd normally admit."

"I'm learning that I'm so much more then who I was. That for the first time, I want to take care of someone, but that I feel they could equally take care of me. I know I could probably do this alone, but I don't want to. I'm afraid of what I'll lose if I let you go now."

"So don't." Brian cupped Michael's cheek. "I'm patient. I can wait."

"You might be patient, but I'm not." Michael rose to his knees, the bed sheets falling to expose his lower body. "I've been numb for too long."

"Michael..." Brian grabbed the sides of Michael's thighs, stopping him from straddling his lap. He couldn't believe he was doing this, but it was not only for Michael's own good it was to preserve what they had already built between them. It was too precious to let crumble because of Ben's or David's rejections of Michael.

"Don't worry. It's not sex that I want for you."

"Then what do you want?" Brian furrowed his brow in perplexity.

"Your arms, holding me... your lips, kissing me... your hands, wandering over me... wherever you want to touch." Michael towered over Brian on the bed, he twisted them to land on Brian's back. "I'm selfish. I want your heart before I give you mine..." He set one leg on the other side of Brian's body, laying over him.

"I can give you time, the space you need." Brian loved the sight of Michael above him, near coal black eyes raging sexual desires he was able to control. Feeling his bare skin around him, he could almost cum without the sex. "I can even give you a place to stay, in the meantime. I think David meant business when he said he wanted you out of the house by the time he got back." He saw the sorrow fill Michael's eyes as he bent his head. He lifted Michael's head up by undercupping his jaw. "Don't... please... don't worry. It's not here with me. I can't do that to you, nor myself."

"I wouldn't mind, Brian. I may need you to get through this... with a rational head intact."

"I won't be far. And when you call me, I'll be there. However you need me at the time. But right now... is not the moment for us." Brian brought Michael's hand over to rest against his chest, under his shirt. "Can you feel it?"

"Your heart... yes..." Michael could almost tell what was already going to come out of Brian's mouth.

"It's been yours since we met, Michael." The tears... choked Brian, he was almost unable to continue. He let his thumbs wipe away the falling wetness.

"Sleep with me, tonight... just hold me in your arms and sleep... I swear."

"Yes."

That tiny word of agreement nearly caused Michael to fall to pieces. "I don't know what I ever did in my life without you."

Brian wrapped one arm about Michael's waist and hefted them up the bed, laying on their sides, facing one another. Michael had his hands clasped at Brian's hips, Brian's hands were touching and caressing over Michael's features and hair. "Do you think it'll take long to pack?"

Michael closed his eyes, sinking into Brian's tenderness. "Two or three days, tops. Most of the stuff in the house is David's." He realized he was going to be living in a strange place by tomorrow, so he lifted his lids to look at Brian. "What's this place you have for me?"

"My grandfather has this hotel on Clarendon Street and Market Place. As owners, the entire top floor of the hotel belongs to my family, The Kinneys. You can stay there until you get yourself settled."

Michael nodded his head, slipping his face closer to Brian's on the pillow. "With elections almost nearing the end, what exactly will you do with yourself?"

"I go back home."

Michael's eyes opened wider. "Where's home for you?" Brian didn't live in Pittsburgh?

"New York. Manhattan."

"... oh..." Michael dropped his eyes, startled to know Brian could very well leave him, too. But he didn't really have a "hold" on Brian's life. They hadn't really made any promises or pledges of affection to one another to keep him from going.

Brian snuggled Michael closer to his chest. "I can stay. Plenty of room in the suite. I'll just have to..."

"... change all those plans already written in stone."

"Michael..."

"When do you fly back?"

"End of November, early part of December."

Michael quickly tucked his arms about Brian's neck, hiding his face in Brian's chest. "I'll miss you."

Brian kissed Michael's bare shoulder. "I'm not gone yet. There's time..."

Michael reached up with his fingers, pressing down on Brian's lips. "Don't... please, don't..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
 **January... 3 months later...**

They switched positions. Now Michael was laying propped on the pillows, Brian cuddled to his side. Michael never would have thought it possible of a man like Brian Kinney, but the way he held, hugged or embraced someone was truly uncharacteristic of his persona. Or maybe it was just with him. Ever since they'd met in September, Brian had treated him with nothing but respect. He never once saw the asshole or the bastard. And when they lay entwined like this, after sex... Michael could almost cry from the beauty of the man in his arms, the way he made him feel adored.

He brushed back the strands of honey brown hair to allow for a perfect view of Brian's scar. Brian had finished telling him the background history to how he'd gotten the wound. When he had stated that his father had given him the scar, all Michael could think of was... a drunken father held his own son at knife point. Or something equally as creepy as physical abuse or molestation, but he kept forgetting that Brian Kinney's family history was born of politics and scandals.

Story started out normal, your every day father/son dynamic. Never seeing eye to eye, people wondering about his true birthright. Jack Kinney regretting ever having a son like Brian as his only heir. Was Jack Kinney really Brian's father or had his mother stepped out of the marriage to give her husband the son he'd always wanted?

When things changed was in Brian's teenage years, when he should have been in high school, making friends and building a life. He'd been kidnapped, held for ransom. The family had kept it quiet, under the radar of press and media. Jack could never confess to the real truth, he had racked up debts, unable to pay money he owed to people who weren't part of rich society. They demanded nothing of Jack, except payment. Jack was tapped out, unable to pay. So his wife's family had put up the ransom, bringing Brian home.

Weird thing was... the people holding him for ransom confessed a REAL truth, telling the young man that his own father had arranged for his kidnapping to pay off those large debts owed. In the middle of the transfer, 15yr old Brian Kinney looked into the cold, dead eyes of his own father and asked if it was true.

Everyone was stunned, except for the kidnapers and Jack Kinney himself.

In front of the entire Kinney family, Joan's father and brother, the local sheriff's office and the FBI... Jack finally admitted what he'd done. He'd sold his own son for a higher payoff. Grabbing one of his captor's switchblades, Brian placed the knife in Jack's hand, asking him to do what he'd always dreamed. Because there was no way he'd go back to live with his parents.

They both held the knife to Brian's throat... Brian trying to force Jack to cut him, Jack trying to resist. At one point, his emotions and frustrations on high alert, the temptation was too much to bear... and in front of fifty witnesses... Jack Kinney tried to slit his own son's throat.

Brian never thought anyone could ever hate him that much to want him dead and from his own father. He went to go live with his cousins, Sean and Eric, and had tried to adapt to a different political family life. He never was quite the same afterwards...

... _**and who fuckin' wouldn't be?**_ , Michael wondered privately as he squeezed Brian tighter to his chest. His fingers filtered through the thick locks of hair, his caress always grazing against the raised skin of the scar. He kissed the top of Brian's forehead, at the hairline, resting his cheek on the cooling skin. He felt Brian's arms tighten about his waist, tucking further under his body.

Brian buried his face deeply into Michael's mid-torso, blinking slowly awake. "Mmmm... sorry... I wiped out on you, didn't I?"

"You were exhausted. That story can't be easy to tell." Michael scraped his fingers through Brian's bangs, watching the hair lay stiffly in one position, then sliding down to feather. "Did you ever want to just... I dunno... walk away from it all?"

Brian lifted his head, bringing his left arm up to bend at the elbow on the mattress. He leaned his cheek on his hand. "What do you mean? Like running away from my life or something?" He soothed his right palm over Michael's bare chest, then slid it on over to place his chin on top of his hand.

"When life seems to give you nothing but grief and you've done all that you can do be happy, you kept doing something different each time and nothing worked... what do you do? Where do you go when you have nowhere left to turn?" Michael leaned back against the plush pillows, staring up at the bed's canopy.

"Sounds like you've been thinking." Brian reached up with his right hand to pinch Michael's chin and get him to look down at him. "What about?"

Michael sunk in the bed, wrapping his arms up and around Brian's neck. "There's not much that I have here in Pittsburgh that would keep me happy... except Jenny. I have my family, but at times they can be draining. Uncle Vic's been telling me for years to travel, get out of town. I know my friends wouldn't miss me all that much, maybe Emmett, but..." He shook his head sadly, biting his bottom lip in contemplation.

Brian rubbed one finger over Michael's lips. "I can tell you right now... no one would miss me. Maybe Eric, but... shit, we're not that close. He'd move on." He slid his right leg in between Michael's thighs, slipping his body against Michael's groin.

"What about Sean?"

"What about Sean? He's back in office. Doesn't need me anymore, until the next re-election."

"What did you want to do, when you were younger? What did you want as your dream career?"

"I never had dreams."

"You never wished for something in your life you could take as your career?"

Brian shook his head. "I was always told what I'd be, then I just did the opposite."

"College? What did you major in?"

"Partying and fucking guys."

Michael giggled, averting his head. "God. Talking to you can be so tiring sometimes."

Brian kissed Michael's temple, then down his sideburn. He nudged his nose in the ear. "I'm sorry. When people ask me questions then never expect the truth from me. It's a terrible habit I'll remedy as the years go on."

Michael quickly turned his head back to Brian, his hands rubbing up the strong biceps. "Years? You think we'll spend years together."

"If the time I spent pursuing you to get you in my bed, under me... where you belong, is any indication... you won't be able to get rid of me." Brian bent his head to kiss along Michael's throat and neck. "Someone once told me I'd be great at PR work or... being, like, a talent agent. Just 'cause I've had the experience and I know how to handle things in the limelight."

Michael nodded his head in agreement. "I can see you doing something like that. Would you like to attempt ME as your first client?"

"YOU? Why would you want...?" Brian darted his eyes over Michael's face. "You talked to those publishers, didn't you? They offered you a contract?" At Michael's slow nod, Brian couldn't help but feel happy for him. So happy... he hugged him, which he would never do to just any trick in his bed. "Shit! Why didn't you tell me?" He rubbed his hands over Michael's back. "That's great! I'm so fuckin' proud of you!"

Michael was amazed at Brian's reaction. The way he was being held was making him tear up, then Brian had to say that dreaded word... "proud" and Michael almost lost it. "I figured I'd let the mess with Ben die down, see where I was with the divorce from David and... I don't know." He shrugged one shoulder. "I'm kind of ready to make some of my own money. I'm tired of depending on others to take care of me."

"I'll take care of you." Brian reached out to scrape a hand down Michael's face. He could see the wary look to Michael's eyes. "What I mean is... the money I have is ours, because I sure never knew how to spend it all. We'll take care of you, get your writing career established, watch your first book get published and wait for it to hit the Best Seller list."

"You really think it was THAT good?" Michael blushed, dipping his head.

"I never read. Anything but the newspaper and anyone who shoves something in my face to read. Books... eh, not so much. I couldn't put your book down. I read it in one night."

"I think that's the best compliment I've ever gotten... and the best supportive words I've received from someone in my life." Michael leaned up to kiss Brian soundly on the lips. "I don't know what to say."

"Say you want me..."

"I want you... oh so badly..."

"Say you need me..."

"I'll need you... more and more... every day of my life... until I die..."

"Say you... uh, like me better then David or Ben..."

Michael lost himself in chuckles, because Brian had swiftly avoided the "love" word Michael was having difficulty saying. He sat up, his legs over Brian's thighs. "You... are incorrigible. And you're quite addictive. I'm pretty sure my body's ready to fuck you again."

"Insatiable... is what you are..." Brian reached for another condom. "I guess since you asked so nicely, I'll comply." He made this action sound like a true hardship, but he was smiling as he played "frustrated".

"Please do... it would satisfy me ever so much." Michael lay back on the pillows, pretty certain Brian would just slide in and... "... oh, god..." But he should have known that there were some moments when the unexpected could be just what you were wanting all along.

Brian deftly inserted two fingers, stroking the prostate and pumping inside Michael's body. His other hand soothed the inside of Michael's thighs, first the right then the left. He took Michael's length in his left hand, jerking tenderly as he watched Michael writhe under him in erotic torment.

Brian fell forward, left hand planted near Michael's head. "Even though you're insatiable and you want me... need me... your body craving me... I'm not gonna simply take you like an animal..."

"Oh... jesus... how can you know this...?" Michael shook his head on the pillow.

"What?" Brian smirked, looking down at Michael under dark lashes.

"... know exactly what my body needs from you...?"

Brian lowered his head to Michael's ear. "Easy... it's because I love you..." He felt Michael rub his face against his, felt the lashes close over moisture filled eyes... the lone tears falling as Michael's body spiraled into ecstasy.

In the next intake of breath, Brian penetrated deeply, causing Michael to undulate his body to meet his thrust. He watched his cock slide in and back out of Michael, felt the sensations of the tight walls holding him and letting him go. Michael knew how to work his body as a Bottom, but Brian never tired of wanting to watch Michael on top of him. He flipped over onto his back, taking Michael with him. One arm planted on the bed, the other arm around Michael's hip and resting up his spine... he plunged at a quick pace that sent Michael into fits of pleasure.

"Lay back." Michael moaned into Brian's ear. "I was also thinking about our first 'date'."

"Yeah... nostalgic for the Golden Oldies?"

"No... I just knew that night you... were the one man for me... no one else would do..."

Brian had expected to be the one to carry out this mutual climax, but the idea of Michael rising and lowering his body over him was exactly what he needed to see. With a fierce kiss to Michael's open, panting lips, Brian took Michael's small request and lay back on the mattress, his hands molding and cupping Michael's ass cheeks to spread them wide... making entry smoother and deeper...

TBC...


	4. DECEMBER

** December **

"Will you stop it already?!"

"But it doesn't look right. It keeps looking crooked."

"Stop touching it and maybe it'll fix itself."

"Do I REALLY need this tie?"

"It's a tuxedo. Of course you need a fuckin' tie. YOU... m'dear, are the Best Man... or The Best Friend of the Butch Lesbian half of this couple getting hitched. You'll be in front. ALL eyes... on you."

"Great! No pressure!"

Emmett grabbed Michael by the shoulders, forcing him to face his eyes directly. "Wow! You really are tense. Honey... I told you... you should have come out with me last night. I met some nice, healthy young men who would have taken care of you... plenty."

"I don't want..." Michael didn't mean to start yelling, but Emmett kept pestering him to no end. "... I don't want other men."

"I know! You want Brian, but, sweetie... he's not here. He told you he won't be here for probably another few weeks. That will be a full month before you get a little somethin' somethin'... and frankly I'm shocked you haven't curled up in a corner in a fetal position and stared wacking off."

"Maybe it's because there's something more meaningful in sex for me these days. I actually have deep-rooted feelings for Brian... and I don't know how to organize them in my head. Without him... I'm a mess." Michael held out his arms to display his appearance. "See... I can't even dress myself without you helping me."

"Michael... it'll be okay. What's two more weeks..."

"Three." Michael interjected with a mild sorrow-filled look to his features.

"THREE!?!? Holy..." Emmett didn't know Brian would be gone that long. Poor Michael. Horny and single... with no eligible man in sight. Probably was a good thing he was at a lesbian wedding in case he felt like humping whomever stood next to him... and that would be either Melanie or Emmett. Yikes!

The parlor door opened, Melanie racing in, breathless. "Oh... My God!" She put a hand to her chest. "He's here!"

"WHO?!?" Both Emmett and Michael turned in shock, thinking maybe Melanie actually knew what Brian looked like.

Melanie rubbed her palms together. "Do you remember dinner the other night? I mentioned I knew this great guy who had just broken up with his boyfriend?"

Michael realized Melanie was talking to him and furrowed his brow. "Vaguely. Jenny threw upon me... remember that?"

Melanie rolled her eyes, walking toward Michael and taking off his tie. He never could get these things right. She often found herself fixing his clothing, wherever they were. Especially in school... tags out, shoes untied, shirt untucked. She tried to keep him in clean lines and formal, but in two seconds he could make himself look like a disaster. She began to redo the tie to her liking. "Yes, I do. And I'm sorry about your shirt... and your pants... the shoes, too."

"Well, you did warn me the antibiotic she was on was prone to projectile vomiting. Didn't know it meant 'project all over me'." Michael squinted his eyes, glancing over his long time best friend, Melanie Marcus. Also... the mother of his child. He loved them both, so much. "By the way... you look beautiful." He leaned in to kiss Melanie's cheek.

Melanie pushed Michael's face away. "Don't change the subject."

"Sorry. You were saying..."

"This guy... I had told you about at dinner the other night..."

"The... Astronomer..." Michael tried to recall any information he'd been told. His profession had begun with an "a". Melanie shook her head. "... The Archaeologist..." Still not right. "... Alto Sax Player..."

Emmett couldn't stop cracking up, he put a hand to his mouth when Melanie glared at him.

"Accountant." Melanie spoke clearly, then stood back to see her efforts at bowties were flawless. She brushed off the shoulders of Michael's tuxedo jacket.  
"Oh... yeah... that's much more exciting." Michael rolled his eyes, turning his painful look to Emmett.

Emmett coughed, clearing his throat. "Mel... baby... I know you're in love and everything, making a life with your girlfriend/life partner, Lindsay, but... Michael needs some time to breathe." He wrapped his arm about Michael's shoulders, leaning their heads together. "I've learned my lesson all too well about fixing up our boy on dates."

"Michael... you've told me you and David were through way before you two actually separated."

"Yeah, but... it was the way he left me that still stings." Michael was partially truthful, never mentioning Brian Kinney's role in that healing process.

"Oh... well... can you at least meet him? He's knows all about you and he... well, he took his boyfriend's rejection pretty hard. We've been trying to get him out of his house..."

"He has a house?!" Emmett's interest was peaked and his eyes wide.

"I think it's his family's house, but it's his... bought and paid for."

"I had a house. It's not that cool." Michael mumbled on a pout.

Melanie patted Michael's chest, caressing his jaw. "I'm seating him on my side of the room. Please... will you BE nice to him. Show him some consideration at the reception, when we get to the house."

"I'm always nice." Michael looked over at Emmett. "Aren't I always nice?"

"You generally are... so sweet and kind... much too nice..."

Melanie rolled her eyes at the witty repartee between these two friends. "Lindsay said you'd fill out the tux... and..." She stepped back to admire her best friend. "... you've never looked more handsome. Maybe at YOUR wedding, but... that doesn't count, I guess." She kissed him long on the lips, only as a sign of how much affection she had for him. She shaped her hands about Michael's cheeks, wiping off all traces of her lipstick. She couldn't stand how often Debbie pressed her god awful lip stains all over Michael's beautiful skin, never bothering to wash away the evidence. "I'll be proud to have you standing by my side up there."

"All kidding aside, Mel..." Michael grabbed both her hands, curling them to his chest between their bodies. He could feel how frantic her heart was racing. He'd known this day would come for Melanie and Lindsay, wondering what had taken them so long. "... I've never seen you happier then I do today. Love looks good on you." He brushed his fingers over her cheek.

"Fuck!" Melanie couldn't stand it anymore and hugged Michael like they usually did. "I don't care if I ruin my clothes and make-up." She had tried to be stiff and keep everything in place, but leave it to Michael to say something that touched her deeply, making her know exactly why she loved him to distraction.

"Love huddle!!" Emmett even got involved in the hug with the two best friends.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
Michael could have spotted him a mile away. He knew that look, the desperation... the wild frenzy to the eyes that often begged to be noticed. He thought it had looked pathetic on him, but on someone else the facial expression looked pitiful. Near painful to stare at, so Michael tried not to. Which was difficult since the guy kept thinking he HADN'T seen him. He'd lift his hand and wave, but Michael tried other gestures besides the obvious ones to acknowledge he could see HIM.

The man clearly was way more nervous then he had to be. He was sweating more then the two brides standing in front of the clergyperson.

"Do you see him?" Emmett muttered from the side of his mouth, standing perfectly upright. His hands crossed at his crotch level.

"YOU can't see him?" Michael mumbled out of his own mouth, bowing his chin to his chest.

"Michael, I'm busy. There's some cutie, in third row, center, trying to wink at me. Get my attention."

Michael scratched at the side of his nose, turning to get a better look. "Em... you're hitting on MY guy. MY Blind Date."

"Are you serious?" Emmett smirked, waving and winking back.

Michael bumped his hip to Emmett's. "Stop! He's the only gay man in a sea of vaginas, Em. He'd be pretty hard to miss. Is that suit made of tweed?"

"Nah... no one wears tweed, except old smelly guys in libraries and Sherlock Holmes." Emmett took a longer look at his prospective *new* friend. "He's hot."

"... gah, literally. He is definitely NOT my type. What was Mel thinking? It'd be like dating a clone of myself."

"Oh, shush. He looks nothing like you, Michael."

"Thank... God..."

"Listen, sweetie... take it from me..." Emmett ran one hand over his shortie shorned hair. "... hair... isn't that important."

"Then he's perfect for you. Apparently, he's... two years older then me? I think Mel rattled off in her ten second life-bio of him."

"Oooooo... they're kissing..." Emmett's voice sounded wistful and envious.

"Who?" Michael looked around them.

Emmett elbowed Michael in the ribs, gently. "HEY-Loooooo... the wedded couple at your side..."

"Oh, yeah..." Michael remembered where he was, but he couldn't stop chatting with Emmett in secret. No one was paying attention to him. Just Melanie and Lindsay. He caught sight of Jenny seated next to his Mom. He made a *funny face* that made her giggle and pat her hands together, she blew her Daddy a kiss. "Ugh... I feel a little sick to my stomach."

"Yeah. Perfect love and bliss tends to make me a little queasy, too." Emmett was back to peeking at Michael's Blind Date. "He does have a nice smile, Michael."

"So does Brian. And eyes... and his body, too. Everything about him..."

"Oh... jesus... Uh-oh... I think we're supposed to clap." Emmett patted Michael's shoulder. "They just announced their mutual names."

"Who?"

Emmett snickered, shaking his head. "Michael... honey, what is wrong with you?"

Michael shrugged, fixing his jacket collar around his shirt collar. "Nerves, I guess. My head not being screwed on too tight today. My mind... wandering elsewhere."

Emmett clamped his hands on Michael's shoulders as they watched Melanie and Lindsay walk down the aisle as a married couple. They should follow, but they had a mess to clean up once everyone saw them off in their Rolls Royce outside. "You, my dear friend..." He bent low to Michael's right ear. "... have got IT bad."

"It?"

"Bitten by the Love Bug."

"Oh, shit..." Michael glanced down at his palms. "... my palms are sweaty for no reason. This wasn't MY wedding. Why was I so scared?" He ran a finger inside his shirt. "And this bowtie is choking the fuck out of me." He yanked the tie out of his buttoned collar, almost smacking himself in the face.

Emmett smirked behind his hand as he cleared his throat. "Oh... yeah... you've been infected." He sighed heavily, tilting his head to look at his best friend as if he was all growed-up now. "I suppose this means I must sacrifice my pleasurable body to your courageous fight."

"My fight? For what?"

"Whom? Brian Kinney, honey. YOU... certainly don't need to be breaking this poor gentle creature's heart..." Emmett's hand swept in the direction of where Michael's Blind Date was still seated as everyone was clearing out of the tiny church. "And I... regardless of how I feel about dating my friend's ex-es..." He put a hand over his heart in declaration. "... I will set aside all my strict beliefs and STIFF morals, trudging onward." He put up a fist in triumph.

Michael rolled his eyes as he unbuttoned his shirt, three holes. "Think Mel would mind if you and I switch places?"

"ME... be YOU... for the length of the party? It has been a strange fantasy of mine to live in your shoes for a day."

Michael knew Emmett was joking and teasing about this being a hardship, but he didn't practice open deception with perfect strangers. "Look... you really don't have to do this. I'll completely understand if you don't. If he's not what you thought, by all means keep the mystery. But if he turns out to be someone you'd like to get to know better... please, be honest and tell him who you really are after awhile. I'd like to remain in my single status until Brian returns."

Emmett bumped biceps with Michael. "Think you two will finally hit those silk sheets?"

"I dunno." Michael licked his lips, closing and opening his eyes at the mere thought of Brian's voice in his ear these past few weeks. "Just speaking to him over the phone, I'm liable to spontaneously ejaculate."

"Sheesh... talk about reaching out and touching someone."

Michael shook his head at the last memory he had of Brian, face to face. "When I went with him to the airport, to say goodbye... watching his plane take off... I knew that would be the last time I ever wanted to be apart from him."

Emmett crossed his arms over his chest. "You need to tell me that story, about your goodbye kiss, again. I swear I could almost feel it against my own lips when you described it to me."

"Sad... that our first kiss was a 'goodbye' kiss. I'm sure the moment made it more poignant" Michael looked off in the distance, his last image of hazel eyes so clear in his mind, feeling Brian's hands on his face. "He certainly knows how to leave a lasting impression on me."

"Something tells me, if a man has THAT much passion behind his lips... he's someone you never want to let go of."

"When he returns... when Brian comes home..." Michael had been attempting to put that thought back in his head, over and over. "... finally... I won't give him a reason to leave, ever again."

"God..." Emmett hugged Michael to his side, under his arm. "... this is way more different then David, sweetie." He placed his chin on top of Michael's hair. "By golly, you may have proven that if I'm patient enough... the man of my dreams might not be far out of my reach..."

"Michael...?" The voice hesitantly interrupted Michael and Emmett's mid-embrace.

Both men glanced up at the man before them, who had sincere, kind brown eyes and held out a friendly hand to shake. He hadn't been told what Michael looked like, they could actually pull off their trick and make it work. But Michael suddenly realized something, hearing one of Brian's old phrases rumbling about his mind... "You've got the most honest face I've ever known and the sweetest eyes. You could make me believe whatever came out of your mouth... I doubt I'd ever truly know if you were lieing to me or not."... and Michael found that he was unable to carry out the blatant lie, deceiving a man with an already broken heart.

Emmett was about to slip in and take the offered hand, when Michael bumped him out of the way. "Yes. I'm Michael Novotny." He sent out a wide, sweet smile. "I'm sorry." His other hand came up to clamp warmly over the top of the man's hand. "I haven't been able to catch your name in passing. Mel's been kind of frazzled lately." If he hadn't paid close attention to those brown eyes, Michael never would have seen that they lost a little luster when it was learned HE was Michael Novotny... not Emmett.

Hmmmmmm...

"Tell me about it. I didn't really want to meet you at a wedding. I mean... how presumptuous, huh?" The man took his hand back, tucking both hands in his trouser pockets. He had shaken Michael's hand politely, but his bright eyes and shy grin slipped toward Emmett's direction. "Ted. Ted Schmidt."

"Ted... really nice to meet you." Apparently, Michael wasn't Ted's type, either. "Ted... I'd like for you to meet a very good friend of mine..." He placed an affectionate hand over Emmett's back. "... Emmett Honeycutt."

Ted brought out one hand, holding it out with a little bit of shivering. "Hi... Emmett."

"Please, darlin'..." Emmett wrapped his two hands around Ted's, almost in a near embrace of the limb. "... call me 'Em'... all my friends do."

Ted let one side of his mouth perk up, nodding his head. "Thank you, Em."

"You comin' to the reception party?" Emmett didn't seem to want to let Ted's hand go.

"I wasn't planning on it, but..." Ted's eyes flickered down to catch the joining of their fingers. "... with the right motivation, I could be persuaded to join in the festivities."

"Super!" Emmett then gave Ted back his hand. "Michael and I will be here for a little longer, cleaning up the church. Get everything packed and put back in storage. We'll be late, but... we'll be showing our purty faces, if you'll be there."

Ted glanced around the church, eyeballing what actually had to be taken down and stored away. "Would you boys like an extra hand?"

Emmett almost didn't know how to respond. "Uh... sure. Extra handsome faces like yours are always useful."

Ted actually looked like he blushed, scuffing his shoe on the tile flooring. "Okay. Let me..." He gestured behind him, toward a young woman leaning up against a pillar. "... I have to tell my 'date' she can drive off without me." He even took his keys out as he swiveled to walk away.

"DATE?" Michael squeaked out, with a smile. So he wasn't the only one wary of meeting a Blind Date

"He's with a woman?" Emmett pouted, then bit his top lip in hopes he was reading this all wrong. "Mel did mention he was gay? Or did she mess it up by meaning Bi... or just plain curious?"

"Remember? He broke up with his BOYfriend?"

"That certainly doesn't mean much these days. Maybe he really, really, REALLY loves straight women."

"A straight woman... at a lesbian wedding? That's almost a sign of the Apocalypse."

"Maybe Ted's using her as, like, a *buffer* in case you looked like The Creature From the Black Lagoon."

"I think I am... in a way. He likes YOU, Em." Michael smacked Emmett with his shoulder joint.

"He does not. Foolish talk."

"Does, too."

"Not!" Emmett quickly put a hand over Michael's mouth, which Michael promptly licked the skin of the palm. "Ew!" He took his hand back, swiping it on his jacket.

Ted wandered back over to Michael and Emmett. "Okay... all yours now, Em... uh... and Michael..." He realized he'd shown himself too enthusiastic over spending some time with Emmett.

"Beautiful girl, Teddy." Emmett proclaimed as he lifted one eyebrow in curiosity.

"Tracey? Yeah... she's my god daughter. She likes to come out on dates with me to 'check out' the men in my life. She's oddly protective... don't know why."

"She obviously doesn't mind you being gay. That's a good thing."

"Sometimes. She certainly has better gay-dar then I do. I met my last boyfriend... well, she feels responsible, in a way. Kinda wants to make it up to her Uncle Ted."

"She's handy... and family. How useful." Emmett teased as he waved over at Tracey who was keeping an eye on them all as she exited the church. "She's a sweetie, Ted."

Ted clapped his palms together, ready to get started. "So... where do you need me, Em?"

Michael had to elbow Emmett to stop staring open mouthed when Ted kept accidently saying things like that. "Em... answer Ted's question. I'm gonna go make a phone call... and change into my jeans..."

"Michael, don't..." Emmett called out, not wanting Michael to leave him all alone with Ted. It never worked when he knew he liked a guy and the guy liked him. This wouldn't turn out well at all.

But Michael exited the room as if his pants were on fire. They were, sort of, since his cell phone began to vibrate in his tuxedo pants. He'd sent all calls to voice mail, except Brian's numbers. Once he locked himself in the parlor room, sliding out of his jacket, he felt safe enough to gush.

"Hey, gorgeous... I miss you..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Michael felt better after the call from Brian. He was certainly able to release some "tension" he'd been feeling. Brian enjoyed getting him worked up over the phone, because the thought that his voice alone could send Michael into orgasm was a small price to pay for being away so long. Michael still wasn't right, though. He was unsettled for some reason, fidgety. He didn't want to attribute the fear to Brian possibly not coming back and having to go this road alone, but it was certainly in the back of his mind.

Maybe that's all it was, really... just an idea of it happening scaring him.

Michael had abandoned Emmett and Ted long ago, not really wanting to be around folks IN love, falling IN love or even being attracted to one another. He couldn't stand the jealousy he felt, nor did he like that he was fast becoming Mr. Grumpy. And nobody liked a Mr. Grumpy.

So he ditched everyone over the age of three and went right for his daughter, Jenny Rebecca. Playing with her often made him forget all of his troubles. SHE loved it because her Daddy got down on the ground with her and played. Even stepping IN the sandbox with her... pushing her on the swing and helping her slide so she wouldn't fall on her face in the dirt.

After awhile, Jenny got bored with her own toys and Michael noticed that if he didn't nip this sucker in the bud he was going to have a Little Miss Grumpy on his hands. He was preparing to approach Melanie, inform her he was taking their daughter on a mini-adventure to the local park. They had a bigger playground, more children for Jenny to play with and a nice, tranquil garden that parents could wander through.

Like father, like daughter, they were both frustrated by all these smiling, happy people.

As Michael was informing Melanie where he and Jenny would be, Jenny began to squirm to be put down. Michael complied, but didn't let go of Jenny's wee hand. So she began to grow spineless and wanted to venture off toward something else. "Quiet down, Jen." He spoke in a hushed, controlled parental tone.

"Michael, honey..." Lindsay wrapped an arm about Michael's shoulders. "... are you okay?"

"Peachy." Michael gave off a pained smile to Melanie and Lindsay, Emmett and Ted who were around some random friends. "Jenny and I just..." He heaved a big sigh, looking down at Jenny spinning about then standing near his leg, looking over at the shrubbery. He let her hand go and simply held her by her head, combing through her long hair. "... want some time alone. Away from noises and crowds."

"Michael, you're..."

Jenny finally found a way to free herself from her Daddy's side, running toward the familiar face she'd noticed over the last five minutes. She was swung up in strong arms, being raised higher in the sky then her Daddy ever could. She was thrown a little in the air, but safely caught. She giggled, a new reason to smile on her face.

"Michael... who's that man with Jenny?"

Michael swiveled to come face to face with a man he never thought he'd see again. He grew still, stunned and speechless. He didn't bother staying with the crowd of people, just walking toward the man who had Jenny.

"Michael?"

Emmett could be heard saying. "Shush, girls... it's the love of his life."

"I thought that was David."

"Uhm, no. Not by a very long, long shot."

"Well... what's his name, Em?"

"Brian. Brian Kinney."

Ted almost choked on his beer. "THAT's Brian Kinney?!?"

"Should we know him?" Melanie asked of Michael's best friend, a little upset Michael never mentioned a new man in his life.

"Eh... it's best you get to know him now."

"Why?" Lindsay inquired out of wonder.

"Because... Michael's never gonna let him go."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
Brian cuddled Jenny in his arms, blowing "raspberries" on her belly. She was such a child of Michael... Brian nearly lost his cool. He settled her correctly in his arms, walking toward Michael. "Did you lose your dark-haired munchkin? 'Cause... I found one, if you want her?"

"What..." Michael found his voice awful scratchy. "... the fuck are you doing here?"

"Sean came back to Pittsburgh for an awards dinner. I bummed a seat on his sweet ride, in a helicopter." Brian flew Jenny in the air, watching her chuckle and hold her arms out.

Michael was gaining some ground, getting closer to Brian. He didn't know if he reached out to touch him, would everything he saw be real. "How did you find me?"

"You left your TO DO list on the fridge." Brian smiled, liking the sound of them sharing a place to live. He hugged Jenny to his chest, with both arms.

"I can't..." Michael shook his head, bringing a hand up and stretching it to caress Brian's bare forearm. "I don't know what to say. When you called..." He clutched at the arm. "... I thought you were still in New York, in between meetings."

"Nah." Brian transferred Jenny over to his left hip. "Today's, kind of, my day off."

"And you flew all the way to Pittsburgh to spend it with me?" Michael could almost cry from the thought.

"You know..." Brian reached out with his right hand and cupped Michael's face. "... we've never, technically, had our second date."

Michael's cheek nudged the warm palm. "That's right. We had the kiss... said our goodbye, but never made any future plans."

"Is there any way I can convince you to bail on this Lilith Fair... and come waste the day away with me?" Brian gestured with his head a way out through the hedge, under an archway.

"And YOU are?" Michael teased as he grabbed for Brian's hand to hold between his two.

"Ouch! But... I deserve that for attempting to work my ass off for the greater good."

"I'm not your keeper, nor your boyfriend. I won't hold you back if you have to go. But... I would like to take you up on your offer."

"Did I hear right? Were you about to try escaping with Jenny?"

"Yeah, but..." Michael stepped near, his body brushing Brian's. He reached out to lay a gentle hand on Jenny's head, where she'd fit in on Brian's shoulder. Her eyes were looking drowsy, ready for sleep. "... look at her." He caressed her flushed cheek with two fingers. "She's tuckered out. I should put her to bed for a nap."

"Mmmmm..." Brian rested his cheek on top of Jenny's soft raven curls. "... one of those sounds really good right about now." He blinked his eyes shut and looked as if he could fall into slumber standing up.

Michael touched Brian's jaw. "Are you too tired to handle a second date? 'Cause we could take this back to the loft or the suite. Makes no difference to me. I just... want to be with you."

"And I'll go wherever you feel most comfortable with me."

"Have you eaten?"

"Not really."

"I'd offer you something here, but I fear if we stay any longer, we'll get roped into a project that involves cleaning up and probably housework/lawn care."

"Christ! Jenny's about all I can lift right now."

Michael soothed a hand down Brian's right biceps, curling his fingers around the arm. "C'mon... she's got an awesome room. I'm almost jealous."

"You all do spoil her rotten, though. YOU, especially."

"It's the price of being a part of my circle of family."

"Then I can't wait to experience the pleasure myself."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Have you ever...?"

"What?"

Brian and Michael were standing in the middle of Jenny's bedroom, watching her fall asleep, contentedly.

Brian slipped his body closer, conforming around Michael's left side. He secured an arm about Michael's waist, resting his chin on Michael's shoulder joint. "Have I ever... what?"

"I dunno..." Michael wrapped his arms around himself, grabbing for Brian's hand on his hip. "... wanted children?"

"Why would I want kids who could turn out like I did?"

"Because... maybe they won't." Michael leaned his head on Brian's hair, the texture was soft against his skin. "I didn't think I wanted kids, either. But Mel... she really wanted to have a part of herself just... alive, living on after she was gone. She got me convinced I would be a good father. Now... I can't ever remember not wanting Jenny." He turned to fit their chests together, his arms encircling Brian's waist. "Maybe one day, by the time you're ready for a son, you'll start to understand why. Not every father is Jack, Brian. Hell... I'm not like either of my fathers."

Brian reached out to lay his arm over Michael's shoulder, dangling down his back. "I don't... I can't really think about a kid right now. I barely take good care of myself."

Michael soothed his hands over Brian's back. "Sometimes, they help you grow up, take responsibility for once and mature... when you never thought you would."

Brian's arm locked about Michael's neck, hugging him near. "Could you, actually, 'see' me raising a child?" He laughed awkwardly at his own thoughts, because he just didn't think he was worthy of any child's respect or affection. He even had a bit of trouble with being around Jenny, but knowing she was Michael's daughter and realizing Michael had the utmost trust and respect in him... well, he didn't mind sticking around her. Like now... she looked like a slumbering angel. He thought Michael had gone way too silent, but what he was doing was staring up at him with smiling brown eyes. "What?"

"Yes, I could. You deserve a second chance to set things right." Michael cupped the right side of Brian's neck and throat, his fingers playing over the scar. "Don't worry, this isn't me putting pressure on you or because I want you to. I wanted you to know... I've no aversion to being by your side to support you when you do."

"Michael..." Brian latched onto Michael's wrist, holding tight.

"I'm sorry. This is NOT what I want to be doing with you right now."

"Look... it's okay. I'm not spooked. In fact, I think you're about the only person I'd have these conversations with. All others need to mind their own business. No... what I wanted to say was... I didn't tell you I was arriving for a visit, because I don't want our time planned out, minute by minute. I'd rather our time be as spontaneous as if it were an average day in our lives."

"Honestly... we're alone here... how IS New York?"

"Lonely... without my best friend." Brian lowered his head and hugged Michael to his chest.

"Good." Michael secretly grinned to himself, then secured his arms around Brian's neck. "That's the answer I wanted to hear." He buried his face in the crevice of collar and throat. "Damn... I'd forgotten how warm you are. Never realized it was so cold without you."

"Christ! I'd love nothing better then to take you back to New York. Have you spend a week with me, show you all the places I love in the city. But... I'm afraid even my time... isn't MY time, exactly. I kind of snuck out today. They think I'm still back home."

"There's no need for excuses. I understand. When I want you to be with me, I want your complete attention, no distractions."

"Sean and the company have been running me ragged."

Michael furrowed his brow, drawing back to look up at Brian. "I thought you said Sean would no longer need you."

"That was for the election, which is over and done for me. No, this is family business. Talks, signing contracts, business deals, writing checks, having daily board meetings and driving or flying across country. Even across continents."

"Sheesh. No wonder you're exhausted. I'll stop grumbling and complaining under my breath. I never realized your family had so much business interest around the country and world."

"It's how I want it. If you actually knew how rich I was, you'd run screaming away. The main office is based in Manhattan. We branched out on the east coast ten years ago and the west coast... about five."

"Well, then..." Michael broke out of Brian's embrace reluctantly, to wander over and pick up the tiny radio. "... we'll hand this baby monitor to Mel or Linds and then we can leave and begin our spontaneous second date." He had made it all the way to the door before he discovered he forgot to ask the most important question of all. "Oh... how long are you here for?"

"I leave early tomorrow morning."

"How early?"

"5am early."

"Oooo..." Michael held out his hand to Brian, catching his fingers. "... then we better get started."

Brian let himself be dragged everywhere Michael walked them, much like Jenny had done earlier. His body frame like that of a rubber snake. "The anticipation to begin is killing me."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They spent the entire afternoon and nearly all night wasting time together around town. They never knew Pittsburgh had so many things to do when you wanted to eat up time. They got back to the suite around 11pm. Michael fixed them some sandwiches, Brian got beer for them and sat down at the tiny dining table to peruse the pile of mail.

Brian had gotten halfway through the stack when his eyes began to droop and he could barely hold his head up.

"Brian... go to bed."

"I'm not..." Brian yawned, loudly. "... tired."

"Yeah... Oh-Kay... but if you keel over on your sandwich and crush those delicious potato chips, I'm not carrying your sweet ass to bed."

"You think my ass is sweet?" Brian got up from his chair to kneel by Michael's side and nuzzle his ear. He wrapped his arms around Michael's body sideways. "Come to bed with me."

"Brian..."

Brian leaned back to find Michael averting his head and almost trying to pull away. "Jesus... what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Michael... you never pull away from me. What's wrong? What'd I do?"

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's me."

"Why? What's wrong with you?"

Michael finally turned his face to stare eye to eye with Brian. "Even though you told me not to... I had this all planned in my head..."

"What?"

"The day you'd come home to me."

Brian bent to place his lower jaw on Michael's shoulder joint. "I screwed it up by coming here for a day, thinking I could run back to New York." He put his chin on the shoulder, forehead on Michael's hair. His mouth directly in front of Michael's ear. "Don't you know how much I'm dying to fuck you right now... I can practically taste it?"

"Don't, Brian..." Michael tried to weakly push Brian away, hand on his chest. "... don't tempt with that... voice..."

"What 'voice'... this one...?" Brian began to speak the same words he used over the phone, but this time... Michael could feel the hot breath on his flesh, the warm body next to his.

The hand Michael used to push Brian away now drew him near. He started breathing heavily, turning his head to meet Brian's face, their lips only inches from touching. "I'm tired of sleeping alone... I'm even more tired of having sex by myself..." He enjoyed sharing a bit of laughter with Brian. "Just know... if anything happens tonight, once we crawl into bed... I'm expecting you to return to me. THAT was my plan, you know... making sure when you came home that you would know... I'm never letting you go."

"I will come back, Michael. The only reason I'm working so hard this month is I'm thinking about selling my shares of family stock. I'm trying to lessen my life needing to be IN New York to come back here... to BE with you..."

Michael couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Really?"

"Yes... I'm tired, but I've got clarity, like never before. They think they need me, but they don't. They do fine without me. I suppose it's to have that 'family' connection so no one thinks the company is trying to be overthrown by an outsider. But... that's Sean's worry now. I do fine on my own with what my grandfather left me."

"The one who gave you this nice Penthouse floor?"

"Yeah... that same one. Kinney money does fine on it's own, I don't need more then I can handle." Brian reached out to cup under Michael's throat. "And... I've always wondered what it would be like to have a different life then what I do."

"You want to experience middle class life?" Michael smirked as he stared into rich hazel eyes.

"No... I want someone to come home to. I want someone in my life... waiting for me."

"I feel the same way, too. I want it to be you."

"I would, seriously, kiss you right now, but... I'm about ready to collapse. You wore me out."

"You arrived exhausted already, Brian. I'm surprised you lasted this long." Michael kissed the inside of one of Brian's hand. "Go on. Go to bed. I'll be in later, probably after you've conked out."

Brian reached over to press a chaste kiss to Michael's brow. "I'm sorry I ruined your night."

"You didn't... you're here. As long as you come back... we've got plenty of nights to spare. I've waited this long to be with you."

"I'll see you under the sheets." Brian hefted himself off the floor, caressing Michael's face and hair. He turned  to walk toward the bedroom Michael was using, undressing as he disappeared down the hall.

"Later..." Michael mumbled into his hand as he watched Brian stroll away. He had thought he'd known what love was with David... then with Ben. But with Brian there was a whole new experience to the feeling and he was torn between elation and sadness. Only because they both seemed to want and need one another so badly, but learning to love each other and be together as couple was almost a frightening opportunity for both of them.

Michael stared down at his right hand. He could no longer see the mark of his wedding ring. The tan line faded, back to the regular pale skin. He couldn't even believe it was almost one month since he left David... one month since he'd seen Ben, too. He ate the last few bites of his sandwich, gulped the last drop of his beer and he cleaned up the table. He gathered the piles of mail and located Brian's briefcase and overnight bag. There was a thick side pocket he could stuff the rest of this mess in. Maybe Brian could look it all over later on in the week.

Gosh... 5am... Michael rolled his watch over. It was nearing midnight. Brian would probably want to be woken up at four, or thereabouts, to get showered and ready, dressed to start the workday tomorrow. Man, he couldn't believe Brian was actually here... here to be with HIM. All day he couldn't stop touching, caressing, clutching or hugging Brian. He tried to savor every nuance and quirk of Brian's for the long three weeks they'd be apart... until January.

January? Wow... he'd known Brian for only five months, give or take. Five months didn't seem like enough to him. There were still bits and pieces of themselves they hadn't shared.

Michael shut off the lights, turned up the thermostat and headed off down the hallway. He saw the buried form under the covers, but made a bee-line for the bathroom. He had a certain ritual that needed tending to, before he'd jump into bed with Brian. He was dressed down to his underwear, ready to climb under the covers. But as he stood at the side of the massive king-sized bed frame, Michael decided he'd take a chance. He took off his underwear and slid under the sheets, moving toward Brian. He was asleep on his stomach, cuddling a pillow under his head.

Brian had always slept nude, or so he claimed. But ever since he began sleeping with Michael... he wore underwear, to be on the safe side. Like he was doing tonight. The theory was... if you eliminated the temptation, you'd never seek it.

Michael smiled sweetly, fitting his legs along Brian's, first. Then he aligned his groin with Brian's backside. Next came his chest with the curve of Brian's spine. Lastly, he rested his head behind Brian's on the same pillow. Sure his body was on fire, sure his cock was semi-erect and poking Brian's bottom, but he felt as if he was the happiest man on Earth, his arms wrapped around the man he loved.

Even in sleep Brian knew when Michael was near. Once Michael finally settled into his own slumber, Brian expelled the deepest sigh of contentment, comforted by the knowledge that the man who was holding him loved him beyond measure.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian was up before Michael's watch alarm went off. He was in the shower when Michael finally rolled over to find the bed empty. He heard the water running and flipped over in frustration, knowing his time was limited at this point.

Dammit! He'd take this fuckin' bull by its horns and he'd do... SOMETHING!!

He slid off the bed, feeling a bit of a chill in the air, only because in the interim of the heat kicking on, the outside air had gotten colder, this high up in the building. He bolted into the bathroom, hoping to catch Brian before he ended his shower. But he really had nothing to worry about... Brian already had himself in hand, stroking the rigid length... his right hand braced on the wall in front of him.

God, he was gorgeous!

Michael swallowed his fear and stepped behind the glass door. He added his hand to the motions, feeling Brian's body react to feeling naked skin at his back.

"Michael..." Brian groaned out as he let his body fall backward into Michael's keeping, removing his own hand to allow Michael control. He then braced his right and left hands on the walls beside him.

Michael nipped at the neck, licking over the scar he adored so much. "Cum for me. Give me something to remember you by, when you're gone." A few more jerks and gentle tugs, Brian was ejaculating and crying out his release.

Brian turned in Michael's arms and began to kiss him in the same manner they had for the "goodbye" kiss, with a little more tongue. "... let me touch you..." He spoke through his kisses. "... I wanna feel you in my hand... feel you cum..."

Michael brought one of Brian's hands down between their joined bodies. He sucked in a sharp point of air when he felt Brian's hand around his heated length. He had handjobs before, Ben had given him plenty... but why did this one feel like he could implode on impact? He held onto Brian's shoulders, pushing his head into Brian's upper chest. He wanted to watch his cock grow and throb in Brian's hand. When he felt his climax rise, he lifted his head to suck at Brian's nipples, circling the pert nubs and rubbing his cheeks over their tips.

"... look at me..." Brian roughly commanded, grabbing at Michael's chin so their eyes connected. "... don't look away..."

Michael nodded slowly, feeling his body begin to churn, his hips thrusting into Brian's hands. When he came, he stared unfocused for a few minutes, but then realized what was in Brian's own eyes. The want... the need... the love? He felt the tears surface, finding that the water droplets from the shower head was a perfect disguise for Brian's own tears.

They embraced for what seemed like minutes. They washed each other off, shampooing their hair. The amount of kisses they shared outnumbered the few they'd had since they met. They couldn't get enough of one another...

... and Brian was leaving for three weeks in less then 25 minutes.

Michael walked into the bedroom, a towel around his waist. Brian followed behind him, completely nude. It was more then obvious they were horny for one another, but the emotions they felt couldn't sustain them from getting a quick fuck under their belt and then parting for nearly a month.

Michael hopped up on the bed, watching Brian pace around the room, slowly putting his clothes on. The decision was made... and to Michael's shock he was pleased and relieved. Not because he didn't want Brian, but... there just wasn't enough time to savor each other's bodies like they had sampled in the shower. Enough time to make their first time mean something special.

Fully dressed in blacks slacks and a white pullover sweater, Brian walked over to Michael. He cupped those beautiful features between his hands and he gazed down into warm, smiling brown eyes. "You're so much more to me then any man who's been in my bed. You deserve a long night of fucking, not some quickie in under 20."

Michael knew any other man might be offended, or hurt by those words. Not him. More and more he was understanding Brian Kinney's psyche and it truly wasn't that difficult to comprehend. "Thank you."

"No... thank you... now I've got a wonderful memory for my shower... and my bed at night."

"I'm sorry. I know we usually sleep in our underwear, but I couldn't... not with knowing you'll be gone for three weeks. I wanted to know how all of you would feel on me."

"I liked it. You can crawl naked in bed with me anytime, when I get back." Brian soundly kissed Michael on the lips. "I WILL come back, Michael."

"You better!" Michael hugged Brian fiercely in his arms. "I can't walk you to the door. I want my last image of you to be right here... in our bed."

"OUR bed?" Brian snickered, burying his face in Michael's neck. "My grandparents would love to know we're in this room. THEIR room."

"I do feel a presence, every once and awhile."

"Remind me to tell you their story over the phone one day."

"Okay... I can't wait."

"Bye."

"Later."

"Be safe."

"Enjoy your time alone without me. Don't lock yourself up here. You've got great friends who'll miss you. And a lovely daughter who adores you. Don't forget them just to remember me."

Michael nodded his head, tears falling without him being aware.

Brian kissed them away, swiping off the moisture. "Now... give me a kiss and smile. I don't want my last image to be of you sobbing in my arms..."

Michael kissed Brian, caressing the back of his hand over his cheeks and giving him the most charming of all his smiles. "Don't keep Sean waiting."

Brian grumbled, shooting Michael one last longing look before he walked out of the bedroom, NOT shutting the door.

Michael sat on the bed for the rest of the morning, crawling under the covers at some point and sleeping the afternoon and late afternoon away. He decided he'd take a few days to be by himself, keeping a watchful ear out on his cell phone for calls from Brian.

It was a long and very arduous three weeks... until Michael got the call he'd been truly waiting for.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
 **January**

Brian was coming home early. On a late night flight out of LaGuardia. He'd arrive in Pittsburgh about 1am.

Michael wanted to know why he had such a strange flight arrival, Brian simply told him, "I'm done. They've had enough of me. I'm ready to come home to you."

Watching Brian arrive off the plane, Michael could barely contain his excitement and ran into Brian's arms. Brian lifted Michael's feet off the floor only because he was squeezing him so tightly to his chest.

"God! I'm never doing this again!"

They went down to baggage claim and finally left the airport, getting on the road back to the hotel by 2am.

It didn't take Michael long to drive them back. All Brian was interested in was sleep and holding Michael. But Michael knew without sleep Brian was really no good to him during sex, so they agreed to just crash in their clothes on top of the covers.

By the time the sun rose, Brian and Michael were willing to take their relationship one step further... and they haven't left one another's sides since...

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
 _ **(** still **)**_ **January ... A week later...**

Michael whimpered at the widening of his opening, the way Brian's length slid all the way inside and grazed his sweet spots. He almost wasn't able to rise above Brian and continue his motions, his body was weakening with unfulfilled passion. He placed his palms flat to the bed, lifting his torso off Brian's heavily breathing chest. He began slowly undulating, rolling his hips against Brian's pelvis. The climax was building, his body frantic with wanting release that it sped up its actions and began to gently pound against Brian.

Brian arched on the mattress, feeling Michael's walls surround him and clench. The up and down movements on his cock made him begin to feel the powerful rush of his orgasm. The moment Michael fell toward him in exhaustion, he took over. He had his feet to the bed, Michael clutched to his chest as his hips began pistoning inside Michael. Michael slowly rocked his body and found a bit of energy to reach out for the headboard. He looked down to find Brian looking up and they were both momentarily lost in their gazes. Brian rubbed his hands over Michael's bottom, up his back and over the expanse of pale skin. Michael leaned down to kiss Brian's face, starting from up around his brow, down one cheek and along the jaw. He ended up at the mouth and as they both continued to thrust, Brian cried out his surrender. Michael wasn't far behind, reaching out to latch onto Brian's shoulders as he ejaculated between their bodies.

Both men could hardly move, every time they brought one another to climax it seemed to be like the last time they'd ever be together. To Michael's way of thinking, he and Brian made love as if they were in love. Brian thought they fucked as if they were close to death. Each man agreed, they'd never had a better partner in bed. They never discussed what they did or what they'd do in bed, but once they discovered themselves here... there seemed to be no need to communicate. Brian and Michael already knew what the other needed, which was one another. It didn't matter what tricks they played, what kink they suggested to attempt or what new position to try out... they always managed to get right down to the most important aspect of this moment, pleasuring each other.

Michael slid off to Brian's right side, laying his head next to Brian's on the pillow. "Were you able to spend some time with Sean while you were up there?"

"Yeah. He looks good. The Senate seat looks nice on him." Brian waited a beat, wondering if Michael was going to ask. He simply nestled in the crevice of Brian's neck, softly kissing the raised scar. Brian grazed his fingers down Michael's spine, ending up at the upper curve of his ass. "David was with him."

"Oh..." Michael didn't want to bother Brian with news about his ex-husband. Strange how for years he wanted, contemplated seeking, a divorce, learning how difficult it would be. The long arduous process of dividing the things accumulated between he and David, attempting to be just and fair about what each man was owed. But when David needed something done badly enough, he got it done. They separated two weeks before the election, a month later Michael was served with divorce papers... and by the time Brian wandered back into his life, Michael was a bachelor again.

"He looked... uhm... happy."

Michael sighed, knowing exactly what the word meant now. "I'm glad. He deserves it."

Brian turned his head to press a kiss to Michael's sweaty brow. "Stop berating yourself. Just like with Ben, and with David... you confused yourself that feeling passion for the men in your life meant you had to constantly seek permanence with them. Neither of them wanted the same thing. Or understood you at all."

"You think you do?"

"Shit! I know I do." Brian sucked in a breath when Michael softly poked him. "Nah..." He threaded his hand with Michael's "poking finger" hand. "... you're not that difficult to please. In bed, you're just what I need. Outside of bed... you've become someone I can't be without."

"Oh, Brian..." Michael tilted his head onto Brian's hair. "... you're everything I want in a partner and so much more. I don't know how we'd been living so close to one another, but never saw who the other was. This could have been much different if we had met years ago."

"I like this... how we built something strong, before we climbed into bed. It would suck the other way around."

"Speaking of 'sucking'..." Michael slid down Brian's chest, heading toward Brian's groin.

"... oh, god..." Brian raised his hands, plastering them backwards on the headboard. "... Michael..." He felt the warm heat engulf his hardening erection and let himself fall into Michael's keeping.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Michael woke up next, the suite was empty. Not to mention the bed was cold. From past experience, Michael understood that when Brian was here he took every chance he could to make sure things were running smoothly down in the main lobby. He'd check on the employees, make sure their guests were getting excellent service. He'd even sneak into the restaurant and bar, making certain things were ready for when each of the dining crowds came in.

Michael relaxed on the bed, bringing up a hand to rub his stomach. Christ! He was hungry, felt like it might still be early enough for breakfast since they'd been fucking almost near the crack of dawn. The thing was, with Brian, Michael didn't care to think one silly notion about time and where to be. He'd spent too long doing that when Brian left to go back to New York. He didn't like men who depended on someone, waiting on their every beck and call, but suddenly he had turned into the very thing he hated. But Brian didn't demand nor did he recommend Michael do anything he didn't want to in the first place. Mainly because Michael only wanted to be with Brian, nothing fancy nothing complicated. He wasn't even sure marriage would be for them, but he did know neither of them could live without the other.

Wrapping himself in the bed sheet, Michael wandered over to the huge window overlooking Pittsburgh. Brian loved to tell him the story of this particular room of the suite. How his grandfather snagged the love of his life, almost keeping her locked away in this part of the Penthouse until she agreed to succumb to his will and marry him.

Brian's grandfather had loved this woman from afar and no man was his equal. Not truly full of himself, but simply knowing she would continually pick the wrong guys to fall in love with. Michael knew THAT trait very well. It had been okay that she dated them, it had been okay that she went out with friends and bumped into these guys, had drinks with them. She could get infatuated, lust for them... but one thing Brian's grandfather flatly refused to accept was her falling in love and marrying one of them. SHE was supposed to marry him. Michael chuckled at that, only because it was happening around the time of the early 1900s when women's liberation was running rampant.

The night before her nuptials, Brian's grandfather stole her right out of her bed, taking her back to this room. At first she had been angry ** _(_** _who wouldn't)_ , then she got worried about herself and her captor's sanity _**(** obviously **)**_ , but then she started to wonder if she wasn't growing crazy in her own mind. She actually had begun to fall in love. How could such a fiercely independent and social butterfly suddenly WANT to be locked away and shy from the public eye? By a man who she barely knew, only through mutual acquaintances? 

Michael turned from the window and looked about the walls and the intricate niches of feminine touches mixed with masculine flair. It was amazing how much this still looked like it could be a throwback to the 1920s-1930s, but the additions of new interior design didn't take away from it's old history. Michael couldn't swear it, but he fell in love with this room only because of the feelings he got when he walked in.

And it was crazy, he knew, to think any kind of ghost or spirit was actually walking him through this place. He had heard a noise, thought he heard some female laughter, but when he opened the door... nothing but what he saw now. And an overwhelming sense of emotion... of love... of peace... of knowing exactly where you wanted to be for the next fifty to sixty years of your life. When Brian would call him from New York, Michael would make sure he was in this room. There was something about the whole ensemble that settled well in Michael's body, like he finally knew where he belonged after years of following other people's feelings, wishes and desires. He wanted to reach for his own dreams and fantasies, seek pleasures for himself.

The hotel was high enough to tower over other buildings, there wasn't another structure it's equal in any direction. 

So when Michael dropped the sheet, leaving his naked body exposed at the window, he had no fear of being spotted some distance away. Well... unless low flying aircraft ventured by his window. He chuckled, wrapping his arms around his body. That was the other thing... this room even made him feel decadent and sexy, like he couldn't not only get enough of himself, but wait until he got someone else in the room. He pretty much knew which spirit was guiding him along, because he often found himself crying for no reason.

They weren't happy tears for awhile, they would sometimes be gut wrenching sobs. But later on, when Brian had mentioned he was coming back... Michael began to let one or two tears flow at the idea of someone wanting him, needing him so badly they'd change their life for him. Not force him to move, not twist his morals to satisfy his own happiness. Brian came to him... with open arms, letting him make all the decisions. Michael would no longer feel as if he was chained or had to be where he didn't feel content.

Michael felt more then contentedness, he knew he was home, where he belonged. He turned sideways in the window, knowing how the light sometimes bent and shaped his bare skin. Being so pale he avoided direct sunlight, but he liked feeling the rush of heat on his skin. Brian loved watching him in the window, not knowing he'd spent plenty of hours here, on the bench sill... thinking and contemplating, loving and missing, desiring and lusting for. Brian was free with his body, not minding the vulnerability of nakedness, but Michael took it to a whole new level of near kink. Brian would wake up and find Michael standing there, touching the cool pane of glass... while caressing a hand over his body. Not that he'd orgasm or seek pleasure, it was as if he sought vibrations and feelings of knowing not only was he alive, but out there... somewhere, someone he loved was loving him.

Brian pretty much figured Michael had developed this way of life because he'd left him, staying in New York for almost a full month. Michael spoke to him about what he'd been feeling, since choosing this room as his bedroom... and Brian couldn't stop smirking. Michael was talking just like his grandmother usually did when she spoke about her husband, Brian's grandfather.

Michael wasn't paying attention when Brian walked in, which was fine with Brian. He watched Michael, hazel eyes following the trail of hands over naked flesh. He wandered over, standing far enough behind, but close enough to send warmth to Michael's backside. "I love watching you move in the light..." Brian bent to nip at Michael's bare shoulder.

Michael reached behind him to tug Brian closer, making those arms surround his body. "Even though they're my hands... it's your touch I feel..."

"That..." Brian pressed his mouth to Michael's neck. "... is why YOU are the writer in this family."

Michael shut his eyes at the mention of "family", that Brian would actually consider them remotely resembling a couple creating a life together. "Is the 'ship' running smoothly?"

"Yes, as always." Brian smoothed a hand over Michael's ass, but then gently smacked it. "C'mon... get dressed. I brought breakfast." He pointed Michael's body in the direction of the closet and bathroom, making sure he got out of his head long enough to take care of himself and remember to eat. He wandered back out of the room to set up their meal.

Michael walked blindly into the bathroom, heading right for a hot shower. There was something exciting about knowing Brian had asked the chef to cook them breakfast, even though it was probably nearing lunch, right about now. It took him five minutes to wash up and shampoo his hair, but it took a little longer to pick and outfit from the hangers. Old clothes and new littered the racks of clothes around him. He found a pair of underwear pretty easy, but the rest of his dress was gonna take some time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Michael walked out of the bedroom into the tiny dining area within fifteen minutes. He walked by Brian's chair first, bending down to kiss him soundly on the lips. Brian had brought in the mail and the morning newspaper. As Michael sat down, not too far from where Brian was seated, he noticed some items where his plates should be. There was a slim box... and some precariously placed candy bars on top of the box. He stared down at them, first with shock and breathlessness.

"What's this?" Michael gestured to what lay before him.

Brian was hiding behind the newspaper, trying not to appear glib. "What's what?"

"It's not my birthday."

"No. Thank God, because that would mean I'll be a year older, too."

"Is it an anniversary... uh, of some kind?"

Brian bent the paper forward, peering over the Business section toward Michael. "Does it HAVE to be a special occasion for me to give you things?"

"These are bad for me." Michael held up the two candy bars... Milky Ways, original and dark chocolate, because he never really told Brian which one he liked and really... it was better for Michael to have two then only one bar, in case he liked both.

"So am I, but I'm still around." Brian took a sip of his coffee.

Michael shook his head, placing the candy bars to the side. He'd put them in the fridge for later. He had to turn the box right side up to read the address label. It looked foreign. "Brian... what did you do?" He noticed the name of a Japanese publisher from Tokyo. He felt his hands begin to shake, possibly knowing what already lay inside the box.

Brian realized Michael was chock full of questions this morning. He folded up his newspaper and sat forward, elbows on the table. "I made a few calls. Got some names and numbers... and I found a little something..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his tiny pocket knife. "Open it... the suspense if fuckin' killin' ME!" He had arranged for this package to show while he was gone, so he could return home to find Michael begging at his feet. But there had been a delay in the transfer, mixed signals and messages screwed up. That was until Brian made a phone call to the man himself... the creator and writer of Captain Astro.

Michael stuck his tongue out, flipping the box over to cut along the taped line. He closed the knife, handing it back to Brian, then opened the flaps of the cardboard wide. He stared in fascination and awe. "Oh... fuck... me..." He covered his mouth from quivering, his eyes watering with moisture. "... this... this is too much."

Brian reached out to snag Michael's left hand, squeezing tenderly. "It'll never be enough, Michael. Honestly." He took another gulp of his coffee, then kissed Michael's fingers. "Open the book..."

Michael did, flipping to the very first page, which was blank... save for a minor bit of pen writing. Thick, black ink as if from a fountain pen. The handwriting was eloquent, the signature fluid and manly. He read the passage once, then put his hand up to cover his eyes, tears falling unchecked.

"What's it say?"

"I can't..." Michael shook his head, unable to even talk. "... I don't know if I can read it through tears. Brian... how did you find this?"

"Easy... My Kinney powers of persuasion." Brian winked, then reached for the book himself. He'd asked the man who inspired Captain Astro to simply write a few words to Michael, but he didn't expect to see what the man wrote. "Wow! That... is so fuckin' cool." He gave the open book back to Michael. "What?" He wouldn't stop staring at him.

"You keep doing this for me... I've barely contributed to this relationship, like I've wanted... yet you bought me sweet chocolate treats AND you located an extremely rare Captain Astro collection book... even the creator didn't know was published... Why?"

"Why didn't he know it wasn't published? Or why did I locate a very rare, but worthwhile gift for you?" Brian chuckled as Michael swatted at him. "And stop saying you're NOT contributing to this relationship. Do you know what it takes to make me happier then I've ever been? Or even the fact that I can't get enough of you, in and out of bed? You fuckin' keep me sane, alive and wanting to make myself better. You make ME want to be the kind of man you'd want by your side. I... think that's doing plenty. In fact, I think you should do less and lay naked in bed all day long. I'll allow you your pen, some paper and your laptop once and awhile, but not when I'm in between the sheets with you. You know we could..."

"I love you."

Brian stopped talking and shut his mouth. "Hmmm?"

"You heard me."

"Indeed I did... but... I can't say I wouldn't mind hearing it again." Brian smiled broadly, pulling Michael out of his chair and into his lap.

And Michael did just that... kissing and proclaiming his love all over Brian's face and body.

 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~THE END**

 **Inscription in Captain Astro Collection Book** :

  
 **To Michael C. Novotny,**

 **To those of us who attempt to being everyday superheroes that go unchecked, living during the day as if we weren't a phenomenon waiting to burst forth. Taking the night as our cloak to secure the idea that we don't need anyone, but everyone needs us... and love is for the other guy who's better then we are...**

 **Enjoy the collection, Michael... and welcome to the light out of the darkness...**

 **Yours sincerely...**

 **J. P. Endicott**   
_**  
(** a.k.a. Captain Astro's *bitch* **)**_


End file.
